Better late than never.

So it was Valentine's Day three days ago, but I was too preoccupied to post anything really...you know...Valentiney. I did my heart-shaped post, but nothing about how we do VD 'round here.

It's something of a non-starter, to be honest. I did help Bird make a Valentine for T. Look:

I drew the heart outline, penciled in the letters, and cut out the paper hearts. Bird glued the hearts on and wrote over the letters with red Sharpie. Red Sharpie, in case you needed to know this (I'm not saying I did, or anything) will wipe fairly easily off a TV table with a Mr. Clean sponge thingie, comes off Pergo with the same, and will scrub off an evil genius a kid in a day or two or one marathon bath.

I bought a heart-shaped Rice Krispie treat for T at Borders that night - I knew they had them, and he looooves the treats. I waited until Friday to get Bird something ( a little M&Ms guy with a whirly beanie and candy inside). I wouldn't have gotten him one, but he was bummed that he didn't get a Valentine - see, T had told him they could make one while I was gone Thursday night, but they didn't. Poor little guy. He actually wept. Good lord. Lucky he has a kid's distorted sense of time, so Valentine's Day could be stretched a little to accommodate him.

I didn't get a Valentine.

Well, that is, until I looked at things from a different perspective.

My fried K got a big box of Godiva chocolates. Mmm. Other women I know received CDs, cards, flowers, massages, and sexual favors. Not me. I don't really expect anything, any more.

So what did I get?

I got to come home to a tidied-up living room, dining room, and kitchen. Who needs chocolate, emasculated plant life, or a pregnancy scare?? Not me!!

I didn't think about that at first, but I realized yesterday that T and Bird both put a lot of work into getting the living room, dining room, and kitchen into company-order. They must have spent most of Thursday evening doing it, while I was at Borders writing, editing, and chatting about all kinds of things with my friends.

Chocolate tastes divine, but it will only end up settling on my hips or ass and spiking my blood-sugar. I'll end up feeling guilty, unhealthy, or ill because I'll eat too much of it. No self-control, me.

CDs are nice, but unless you really know someone's taste in music, they can be a dud.

Cards are nice too, but after one day they are relegated to the trash, the recycling bin, or a shoe-box for the most part.

Flowers are lovely...I am enjoying the half-price blossoms I got yesterday, and I didn't break the bank to get them. Also, because I picked them out, I got some that were most appealing to me that moment. I don't really need someone to neuter a plant on an arbitrarily appointed day to show me love. Any time is a good time for flowers, but there's something faintly horrifying in the prospect of removing the reproductive organs of a living thing and handing them over to someone as a gesture of affection. Kinda creepy, really. That's more for birthdays, isn't it??

A massage is always good, but if you are worrying about finding a babysitter or if your S/O, DH, DW, or other e-speak-slang-type-person will be taking good care of the kid or feeding them crack sugar while you're gone, or thinking about everything you'll have to do to make up for the time you're wasting on that table, or wondering what bill won't be paid to cover the cost of this extravagance, well...they're not very effective.

Of course, there's always the sensual evening, but you can thoroughly debauch someone any time. If that's your bag. And what if you aren't in the mood the one night you're expected to be in the mood because the corporate world says you should be in the mood? Gee whiz. Who needs the pressure?

A clean house, though...a clean house that was a disaster when you left a few hours ago but now you can see the couch, the floor, the dining room table...that's tremendous. And all it cost was a little time and effort - pricey, but totally worth it.

What sucks is that it took me until Friday evening to figure that out.