What Say You?

Crows

Swirling around the twisted tree, ragged scraps of inky fabric fluttering against the dark grey November sky, tossed carelessly into the wind only to drift to rest in the ancient, gnarled pine.

What news, what news, cousins? Tell me a story...

Cold, damp, cutting day, and they're circling, making a vortex of feathers and caws, wings spread wide, floating in place before diving into the sheltering embrace of the grandfather tree. How will he hold them all?

What news, cousins, what news? History keepers, tell...

It is neither day nor night, but rather some in-between time of no sun, no moon, half-light and rain, of shadows and illusions and hidden things creeping through the gloaming, unseen until they launch from the branches into the teeth of the wind, dodging the pelting rain.

Tell me cousins, what have you seen? Tell, cousins, tell...

This isn't a murder, it's a spree, a confetti of birds ebbing and flowing, blending into the dark places of one tree, leaving his neighbor bereft of inhabitants, limbs unweighted by signs and portents and their dark silence.

What news? Tell...

Black Friday, Bah!!

I don't like shopping on a good day. On Black Friday? I shudder to think of it. I'm home today, being crafty with Mum. The results of our craftiness will soon be for sale on Etsy.

Speaking of Estsy - how about you dodge the crowds and the purchasing of cheap, mass-produced plastic crap and help support an honest-to-goddess artist this holiday season?? Really, do the people you know and love well enough to give gifts to need another gadget, gizmo, or pair of socks?

Here, I'll help you out a little. Go see my friend Kerri's Etsy shop. I guarantee you won't find anything like what she produces in her studio anywhere else. It truly is wearable art. She's let me play with her glass (I said GLASS, Google perves!!) on a few occasions, and I hope to do so again before long.

I'll be avoiding the feeding shopping frenzy as much as possible this year, making as many gifts as I can.

Oh, and for the purposes of full disclosure, Kerri didn't ask me to plug her shop. She did ask me to help her with the write-ups on her glass pieces, which I was happy to do. If she makes a bundle, she may even pay me for my work, making me a real! live! freelance writer! Right after she pays to have her chimney cleaned and the firebox in her fireplace repaired so she doesn't burn down the house keeping warm when the power's out, replacing her hall bathroom (oh, how lovely it would be to be able to go to the loo when visiting her, rather than contemplating peeing on a tree)(which has its place, just not in a suburban back yard)(unless you are a five-year-old boy, but that's another story)(and another yard), and pre-paying the hospital for the delivery of her son, due in February/March. Yeah, we have to pre-pay here in Redneck Central, even with insurance.

So - avoid crowds, give unique, wearable gifts, support an artist and a writer, all without changing out of your pajamas. How awesome is that??

Thankful

I have a few traditions on this day. Not many - the menu I posted Tuesday, recording the Macy's parade so I can watch it and fast-forward through all the crappy pop music, commercials, and talking heads to see the twenty minutes of balloons, floats and high school bands I'm interested in hidden among all that junk, and my list of some things for which I am thankful, in no particular order and in no way complete:

The house in which I live
The Evil Genius
Mum
Someone
Gypsy, K, Kit, Sam-I-Am, PJ, Mizz Beth, and all of my friends who put up with me when I am most myself and therefor least likable. They are the net beneath me when I fly and fall
Bread
The scent of leaf loam and woodsmoke in the crisp autumn air
Books, music, and art
Clean, plentiful water
Clean air
Clean clothes
Freedom
Nature and the way she finds to show me something new of herself every day
Words
Song
Dance
Adversity, that joy is all the sweeter
Every creature and plant that I consume to sustain myself, because without the life I take, there would be no life to live
Love - that it exists at all is a wonder, and I feel blessed to know it in many forms
Chocolate, gift from the Gods (yes, even the perversion called "candy bar") (Mmm...candy bar...)
Strong hands
Strong spirit
Strong will
Laughter
Cussed determination not to curl up and die just because life can sometimes be a succession of truly awful, bleak, and desolate days...but sometimes it isn't
The Internet
You

I hope you have a blessed day, and that you the things you're thankful for outweighing the things for which you're not. Happy Thanksgiving, y'all, from us at Casa de Crazy to you out in the Blue Nowhere and beyond.

Gives "Stuffing" a Whole New Meaning

Order Up

It seems like everyone I ask has some sort of traditional Thanksgiving dish, that one thing that it isn't Thanksgiving without. For the last few years, I've stayed here at Casa de Crazy and cooked the meal for whoever was here - usually me, T, Mum, the Evil Genius, the Roommate, and T's Nephew. I set the menu, but always ask if there's anything the others would especially like to have, and try to incorporate that dish.

This year, we're light in numbers - Me, Mum, and the Evil Genius, and maybe Gypsy and her family (they're celebrating a day early this year, and I told her they could to pop by if they wanted to, if only for dessert and games).

I'm making:

Turkey (I couldn't find one smaller than ten pounds, so there will be plenty for sandwiches, soup, and other leftover mayhem)(I did, however, manage to find a reasonably priced one that didn't have stuff injected into it - Whole Foods rocks!!)

Dressing (made with bread I baked this past weekend and some sourdough picked up at the Publix bakery, and homemade stock, among other things)

Gravy (from scratch, natch, with homemade turkey stock and pan drippings)

Mashed potatoes (although they're technically riced, since we use a ricer and not a masher. Mum makes these, because she's better at it than I am)

Green Beans (steamed and possibly lightly sauteed in butter and garlic)

Mashed Turnips and Carrots (ohmuhgoodness, I love these! I could go without turkey on Thanksgiving, but not my turnips and carrots)

Bread (baked here) and Butter (not made here)

Cranberry Jelly (from a can, because if it isn't cylindrical with odd little ridges and depressions in it, it just won't taste right)(I may, just for giggles, though, make homemade as well)

Keylime Pie (homemade, except the shortbread crust because Keebler does that so nicely and I hate to see the cute little elves put out of business because I insisted on doing everything myself)(nothing says autumn holiday like keylime pie)(What do you mean, the pilgrims and their indigenous tribal neighbors didn't have keylime pie? I can't hear you...la, la, la, la, la...)

Mrs. Smith's Dutch Apple Crumb Pie (I can't make one this yummy, and why buck tradition??)

I'll have pillows and blankies on hand, too, for the inevitable post-turkey crash.

So...what're you having? What's the one thing (or the fifteen things) that makes your Thanksgiving complete?

Basic, Simple, Bliss

Have I ever mentioned that I like to bake?

No?

I like to bake.

For many years, I stuck to simple recipes that didn't involve yeast and all its attendant complications. I admit it - an organism the size of a grain of sand intimidated me. I always adored fresh bread, though, and wished I could learn to make it...if only there wasn't that pesky yeast.

I wasn't alone...I know plenty of people who won't even risk a bread machine. Shoot, I know a couple of folks who won't even buy those frozen loaves of dough you just put in the oven.

I finally got past my aversion to cooking with yeast when I really, really wanted to make cinnamon rolls from scratch rather than from a tube. The recipes called for yeast. Oh, dear. Well...I did it. And then I did it again. And then I decided that I could brave the big one...bread.

Basic bread is simple, smells amazing, and when eaten warm from the oven with butter melting over it, drizzled with honey, and sprinkled with cinnamon? Pure gustatory bliss.

Give it a try - you won't be sorry!

The Cast:
Up to 6 cups flour (I use White Lilly unbleached bread flour, but regular all purpose will work fine, too)
2 envelopes active dry yeast
2 Tablespoons shortening
3 Tablespoons sugar
1 Tablespoon salt
2 cups very warm water (I add 1 cup boiling water to 1 cup chilled water taken from the refrigerator dispenser) no hotter than 110 degrees F
1/4 cup melted butter

Before you start, lightly oil a large bowl and set it aside. Line a large cookie sheet with Release foil or brush it liberally with melted butter and set it aside.

In a bowl (I use my mixer, but you can use your hands if you like), layer 1 cup flour, shortening, another cup flour, yeast, another cup flour, and the salt and sugar. Mix them until they look a bit like meal, or basically until the shortening is somewhat evenly distributed in the flour mixture.

Slowly pour in the water while mixing on low speed.

Mix on low speed for one minute, then on medium speed for one minute. While that's happening, lightly flour a large cutting board or your work surface.

Exchange the whisk for the dough hook and add one cup of flour. Mix on medium-low until the flour is fully incorporated. Add another cup of flour and repeat.

Now...aside from not killing the yeast with -too hot water, or not reviving the yeast with too-cold water, adding the right amount of flour is the trickiest part of bread making. And it's not that tricky. At this point, you are almost done. The dough will likely be crawling up the hook or forming something sort of ball shaped in the bowl. Give it a touch. Go one, I'll wait.

Yep...it's warm and springy and probably still a little sticky at this point. You've made a living thing. Cool, huh?

If you touch the dough and it sticks to your finger...

...you need more flour. Add a half cup and mix again. I have never had to go past this point with flour. Give it a poke again. It should be a little springy and not stick to your finger. Add another half cup of flour if you must. If it's just a tiny bit sticky, though, no fear - it's better to have a little less flour than too much. Too much means tough, dry, crumbly bread...boo.

See? It's making a kind of ball.

Pull the dough from the hook...

...and get ready for one of the best things about baking bread - the kneading. Ohmuhgodness, this is better than therapy. It's warm, soft, elastic, already smells lovely, and there's just something tremendously satisfying about the whole thing.

I had to stop the video before I was done kneading, because it's really a two-handed job. You get the idea, though.

Knead until the dough is smooth and elastic, three to five minutes.

Form the dough into a ball and place it in the oiled bowl. Roll it around and make sure the entire surface of the ball is oiled. You don't want it drying out!

Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and place it in a warm place to rise.

Rising bread is an alchemical wonder.

For the love of all that's holy, leave the poor thing alone for at least forty minutes, or until it has doubled in size. This is where the yeast gets really busy doing its yeasty thing, which will in turn help make your bread light, smooth, and lovely.

Look at that...it's gorgeous, I tell ya.

Using your finger tips, divide the dough in half. It will de-poof during this process, but don't worry...it'll all come out right in the end.

Thank goodness I cleaned my fingernails before shooting these photos. honestly, I don't know how they get so dirty, but sometimes I'm shocked...shocked I tell you...at the state of them!

Why am I suddenly thinking about Mick Jagger and Angelina Jolie??

Take one of the dough pieces and knead it again five or six time. I don't even bother with the board, just hold it on my hands and sort of fold it in on itself, then make a ball and place it on the cookie sheet. Repeat with the other piece of dough.

It's about the size of a large grapefruit or pumello, now. Brush the dough with melted butter. It'll thank you for the love.

I keep my butter liquid and happy by putting the bowl on the back burner of the stove, where the oven vent is. It is warm enough to keep the butter melted but not so hot it damages the bowl or burns the butter, and I don't have to use the microwave and risk all kinds of buttery mayhem.

Now that they've been buttered...

...go find something to do for another forty minutes while they rise to the occasion. They should double in size again.

Heat the oven to 425 F. You can pop them right into the oven, or you can inscribe a design on the surface of the loaves with a very sharp, smooth-edged knife. I usually make a star design.

Bake at 425 for twenty minutes. Remove from the oven, but leave the oven on!

Hey, look, they're kissing loaves! When they touch like that, I call 'em "kissing loaves" because it looks like they're kissing, duh. Don't worry of yours do this - it won't hurt anything.

Brush with butter again, then put the bread back in the oven for five more minutes. It's done when you tap a loaf and it sounds hollow.

Cool on a rack - if you can keep from slicing right into it and devouring it while it's hot!

This bread is excellent as is, makes terrific sandwiches, is good for French toast, and is useful as a bowl for serving dips in, too. I made these loaves to turn into dressing on Thursday...if they last that long. Wrapped in freezer paper or kept in a Ziploc, it's good for a week or more.