Sometimes it creeps up one me while I'm busy - a sense of melancholy, small sorrow touched with loneliness and a feeling of...loss...or not loss, but perhaps that something is missing.
Given the state of my home life of late, the chaos I've been surfing, sometimes floundering in, head barely above water, I'm hardly surprised that it found me this afternoon as I sat at my sewing machine, singing along with the iPod.
Suddenly, I was sad.
I was lonely.
I was missing...something. Someone.
Bird was napping, sweet, limp little boy sprawling on my chair. I kissed his forehead, his nose, his chin, and smiled at the ketchup and mustard streaked on his cheek from his lunchtime hot dog. My heart lifted, sank again, but not as far as before.
I took a break from the sewing - fourteen shirts and ten caftans done, twenty more shirts to go. Whew. My back ached, so I stretched, logged online, potzed about a little. I opened a file and stared at some pictures I'd been sent last night...and there was the sweetness.
Slow, warm, gentle, it suffused my spirit, a song...a heartsong...bolstering my flagging spirits...
It may be cold in my heart's hearth, but there's a fire waiting for me somewhere...and I have hope to help diffuse the shadows until that flickering light blesses me with its presence...
Sweet melancholy...I can live with that...
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6 comments:
This I sense, M'Lady...
That the melancholy will pass...
It is a day-to-day, hour-to-hour, minute-to-minute thing...
I am there currently... seeking, wanting.. listening to some music recently received from a.. friend.. in the mail, some cd's...
And I hear the VOICE, and I KNOW...
This moment of melancholy, too, shall pass. For soon, shall the pictures shall take on a life all their own, all the more REAL...
Slainte, Lady K...
I am THERE, in the melancholy, WITH YOU...
It always passes, Sir...sometimes later, sometimes sooner, but it always passes.
Music is a fine thing...glad you have some to enjoy...
I won't pretend to know anything about the situation going on (other than that which you've graciously shared with us, your faithful subscribers), but I suspect that, like myself, a well written song can help put things into perspective.
While reading your most current posts, a song came to mind... one that eases my mind through many a turbulent period. The song was originally written about a man who's life had ended well before it was time, but (in my humble point of view) has transcended the intent of the writer (as many timeless works of art often do). I hope and pray that you will find the same confort and peace that it has brought (and will continue to being) me.
Temple of the Dog- Say Hello 2 Heaven
Please, mother of mercy
Take me from this place
and the long winded curses
I keep here in my head
Words never listen
and teachers, oh, they never learn
but I'm warm from the candle
though I feel too cold to burn
He came from an island
and he died from the street
and he hurt so bad like a soul breaking
but he never said nothing to me
So say hello to heaven, heaven, heaven...
So say hello to heaven, heaven, heaven...
New, like a baby
Lost, like a prayer
The sky was your playground
but the cold ground was your bed
I said poor stargazer
She's got no tears in her eyes
but smooth like a whisper
She knows that love heals all wounds with time
Now it seems like too much love is never enough
Yeah, you better seek out another road
'cause this one has ended abrupt
So say hello to heaven, heaven, heaven...
So say hello to heaven, heaven, heaven...
I never wanted to write these words down for you
with the pages of phrases of all the things we'll never do
So I blow out the candle
and I put you to bed
Since you can't say to me now
how the dogs broke your bone
there's just one thing left to be said
So say hello to heaven, heaven, heaven...
So say hello to heaven, heaven, heaven...
I hope, in some small way, that this helps. I'll continue to petition the Gods on your behalf, and send peaceful energy your way :)
Rob
::Can put things into perspective FOR YOU::
((((Kyddryn)))))
I have often thought about the word melancholy, and the loss of that indefinable something that makes your heart sigh. Thanks for the thoughts, you brought me back to that place I haven't been to in quite awhile.
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