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"...besides love, independence of thought is the greatest gift an adult can give a child." - Bryce Courtenay, The Power of One

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Thursday, June 4, 2009

Straddling

I feel myself in a peculiar place.

Familiar, in some ways, but peculiar none the less.

I feel myself straddling a line between two worlds, two lives, equaly in both, fully in neither. I've been here before, mind - the days when I am dazed, feeling displaced as I often do, wondering why I am in this house, with these people, living this life, when they are not mine. My life is elsewhere, elsewhen. I don't live in Georgia...I live in the mountains out west. Not in a house, in a cabin. I don't have a child, I have a garden. I know this feeling.

And yet...

And yet, it is different. The line I straddle now is the border between what has been and what may be. What is and what could be. What I have and what I want. What I know and what I hope for.

Feet planted on either side, I am anchored by one and yearn toward another and so am balanced on a razor-thin edge, careful of how I go lest I slip and am cut to ribbons.

4 comments:

RachelW said...

I do know that feeling. It's exciting and frightening at the same time, and it sure does lead to loose bowels and restless nights. Hugs to you, dear sister.

Suzy said...

That's why I always did what I wanted, at the time I wanted, with the money I didn't have.

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

I hear your voice now when i read your words-- nay, even when I see the Morning Glory at the top o' the page...
And you know... [and you DO you Do you DO..;P], je comprends the straddling...
I am na Nor want to be HERE... but am.
But dreaming of a mountain garden...

"MAY BE", hades, my Flower... it IS.

I do I do I do...

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Or mayhap i meant
it is It is it IS...