Quote of the day...er...week...umm...hey, look, a quote!!

"...besides love, independence of thought is the greatest gift an adult can give a child." - Bryce Courtenay, The Power of One

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Friday, March 13, 2009

Gone, Gone, Gone...

...real gone...I hope...

Mum and I are leaving the Evil Genius in T's care and heading for the coast for a few days at the end of the month.

We were going to Jekyll Island (a very photogenic island), but decided, instead, to go explore new worlds...so we're off to St. Simon's Island instead. It's as much about decompressing as it is about photographing the area...hopefully I'll get my head a little emptied of all the anger, resentment, irritation, concern, fear, and general ickiness that is cluttering it up.

I feel emotionally and spiritually bloated, stiffled, clogged...

Wednesday night I sent a begging letter of sorts to T. He's out of town...again...this time until Saturday, and I can't just chat with him about upcoming events, so I decided to send an e-mail and hope for the best.

At least we have e-mail so there's an element of potential instant-gratification in communicating, rather than waiting until he's home or hoping he'll call when he stops work for the night. He's not a travelling salesman, but I can certainly feel for all the salesmen's wives who missed their husbands for weeks on end back in the day.

Anyway.

I am hoping to be able to attend/work several events in the next few months. Some of them are weekends, and shouldn't be too difficult...but there's one really big one in May that I just learned about, and I am worried he won't want to/can't do it...and I've become very attached to the idea of going. I'll live if I can't attend, but it's a heck of an opportunity to network for my band, maybe sell some photos, tell some fortunes, make a few bucks, and decompress some more.

Hey, I can own it - I am not at all ashamed to admit that I want time away from my family to just unwind, detangle my psyche, and feed my spirit. I would be gone for nine days, though, and he would have to watch Bird alone for the bulk of (if not all of) it. I'm used to being a single parent, did it for weeks on end when he was with the racing school and had to go out of town or worked hours that kept him gone during the kid's waking hours...but T isn't used to it, at least not for more than a day at a time. Now I'm asking him for several weekends, one five day stretch, and nine days to top it all off, all within a three month stretch. Whew.

It needs nourishing, my spirit...it's been hungry for a while, and it wants a fire, drums, dancing beneath the stars, communing with my gods without a timetable, limits, or responsibilities tugging at me. It needs to feel free to soar again...it's been earthbound for so long.

Here's hoping...

4 comments:

Writer Dad said...

Hey, we all need time away sometime, even if it's just a quiet room away from the chaos. Human nature, human need. Good for you.

RachelW said...

I'm so glad you are getting a decompression trip at the end of the month. As a single parent (who was single even before I became really, technically single,) I know just how important that is.

About the 9 day stretch-- are there others in your community who have children that they might be bringing along? Is there a possibility of bringing your little guy along and having him help you? I know that's tiring, and not a break for you, but I've found it's also liberating and rewarding to find there are work-things you can do with your kid(s) involved. And kids love drums, dancing, and fires too. You could call it part of his edumacation. :)

Susan said...

I'm all about de-clogging the spirit and trips away for decompression. Have you talked to T about these trips yet? I suspect he'll be more supportive than you expect. You deserve this and it's obvious he loves you and the Bird. Sometimes Daddies need an opportunity to show it. You can tell me to shut up anytime.

Kyddryn said...

WD, I agree, we all need a little time and space...some more than others.

Rachel, good points, all.

Susan, I would never tell you to shut up - if I didn't want other's opinions, I wouldn't have a comments section.

Also, he agreed that I could go, so...hurrah!!