Mother of the Year

How to feel like a complete shit-heel in 3 easy steps:

1. Call someone one the phone and start a long conversation.

2. When young child excitedly scampers into room calling out "Mommy! Mommy!! Mommy!!!" snap "WHAT!?!?"

3. Feel like a shit-heel when he replies in a tiny voice "I just wanted to tell you I love you..."

And then...

Tell the person you're on the phone with what just happen, using the phrase "shit-heel" and wait for it. Small child will laugh and say "shit-heel, that's funny", and then you get to give him the "You don't get to say shit-heel, shit-heel is a grown-up word and you haven't earned it yet, so don't say shit-heel, OK?" lecture, after which you may proclaim your parenting superiority in expanding your child's vocabulary one expletive at a time.

I'll be waiting for my check from the Nobel Committee on parenting. The Peace Prize can't be far behind.