Quote of the day...er...week...umm...hey, look, a quote!!

Tibi gratias agimus quod nihil fumas.

It says "...freedom of...", not "...freedom from...".

"It's amazing to me how many people think that voting to have the government give poor people money is compassion. Helping poor and suffering people is compassion. Voting for our government to use guns to give money to help poor and suffering people is immoral self-righteous bullying laziness. People need to be fed, medicated, educated, clothed, and sheltered, and if we're compassionate we'll help them, but you get no moral credit for forcing other people to do what you think is right. There is great joy in helping people, but no joy in doing it at gunpoint." - Penn Jillette







Wednesday, July 30, 2008

I think I Figured It Out

I know we're all just baffled by my sudden need to clean. OK, maybe it's just me and Mum (who is, I'm sure, scratching her head in bewilderment and wondering what medication I'm on and why I didn't start taking it sooner) who are wondering, but pretend, OK? I crave validation.

Were I knocked up, I could blame nesting, although when I was pregnant, I never wanted to clean a damn thing (especially not the cat boxes but y'all must know how that went)(What is it with cat boxes, anyway??). But I'm not knocked up. In case you wondered. I'd hate to leave you in suspense. Where was I?

Oh, right, cleaning. Whew, nice clean...er...dirty...er...safe subject.

So why the sudden interest in a diminished stockpile of cat hair, dust Yetiiiiii (Yeti? Yeties? How do you pluralize that??), and fossilized cat barf? Why get rid of the emergency supply of stale Cheerios under the couch, our collection of armor piercing french fries around the computer desk, the dirty laundry that seems to be the only unifying decorative factor throughout the house?

I think I figured it out.

I think it's because we have new neighbors. Yep. It's because there's the tiniest chance they could come over here, maybe come inside and hang out a bit. I can't keep them in the yard forever, can I? And if they do want to socialize, I'd like to have a home that doesn't look like a frat-house inside. Also, I really don't want them seeing the mess and thereafter politely accepting baked goods from me with a smile and, when I'm gone, dumping them in the trash ("Have you seen her messy house? I'm not eating anything that came out of there unless it was shrink-wrapped by the manufacturer first!)(Although my kitchen is not messy. Just the rest of the house.).

I couldn't just be tired of a mess and suddenly realize that if I want a clean house, I have to clean it. Nope, that couldn't be it.

What I am curious to know is what T's excuse is - he's not pregnant and nesting (if he is, I get publishing rights) and I don't think he's ever given a fig for what anyone thinks of the state of our home. So why's he all of a sudden taking it upon himself to empty and rearrange the garage so we can open van and freezer doors at the same time? Why do three loads of dishes in two days without nagging on my part (I feel so empty and unnecessary), and take out the trash just because - gasp - it's full??

Yeah, I'm lookin' for the pod. Next month. After the garage is completely rearranged and we've gone through our room. Or maybe the month after, once the dining room is tidy. Or...well, why look for the pod, really? I mean...he's probably happy being kidnapped by aliens, right? Guys love power tools, and what's better than alien power tools? That's all a probe is, right? Right.

So, yeah...umm...I'm going to sweep over there, now...

4 comments:

Susan said...

Armor piercing french fries - classic! I have an entire armory under the seats in my car.

I have no thoughts on why T is suddenly bent on being organized. I've never personally had that experience. Color me jealous.

Mamma Schmoo said...

I need a pod....either one that has cleaning obsessed alien in it or one that will fly me away to a place that is forever clean....I'm not picky.

noble pig said...

Okay you are hilarious. Love your blog.

Kyddryn said...

Susan, just becareful reaching under there - if one of those things punctures you, your done for!

Mama Schmoo, as soon as I figure out what had prompted this spate of cleaning and organizing, I will share the wealth!! Meanwhile, I hear there are some mightly clean places in the Caribbean - shall we go look for them??

Noble Pig, welcome to Shade and Sweetwater! I very much enjoy your blog, and am tickled to have you wander this way.