O! Electra! Wild eyed, wild haired Goddess of modern living,
From you so many blessings flow!
With your twin hounds Voltage and Amperage
Keeping watch at your heels
You stride with great force through every house
Lo, even unto the far reaches of the smallest lane!
Your munificence manifests itself at every turn!
O! Electra, your daughter Frigidera does make our foodstuffs good
And with great floes of ice keeps our drinks chilled to perfection!
Incandesce, your son, does brighten the deepest dark of night
And mimics the sun in every room of our homes!
Microwave, demanding only the occasional gift of popcorn or plastic container
Provides us hot meals, snacks and endless amusement
From the currents of your raging rivers!
AC keeps us comfortable against even the great Global Warming!
Mighty Electra, to you do we make small sacrifices of lightbulbs, toasters
And the occasional blender!
Since 1816 have we known you, O! Electra, and your many wonders!
On days holy to you, when you fly across the sky
Arcing from horizon to horizon
We propitiate you with televisions, stereos
And home computers!
O! And they who deny you, mighty Goddess, are marked
By your own hand
Reaching down from the heavens and striking the offenders
With your terrible wrath
For Electra giveth, and Electra reclaimeth
And the lapsed worshiper finds her good graces
Only with new, shiny appliances!
Even your nemeses Power strip, circuit breaker,
And GFI outlet
Cannot keep you at bay!
O! Electra, why have your forsaken us in this hour of lashing rain
And early dark?
How have we offended you, we who have televisions, computers, freezer, refrigerator
And all things of your temple in abundance?
Return to us the comforts
To which we've become accustomed!
Please? I'll give you a brand new fluorescent light bulb...