Treadmill Philosophy and an Open Letter

Step after step, mile after mile, I walk. Walk, walk, walk. I like the hills setting - the variety keeps it from getting dull. I don't go faster than 3.4 miles per hour, nor slower than 3.2 miles per hour - it may not seem like much, but I can feel the difference. The slow pace is because I am trying to be rid of my fifty-acre ass, not attain cardio fitness - my heart, despite my weight, is just fine.

The treadmills have TV screens on them, and controls to change the channel or volume at will. One simply plugs in one's headphones and one has several hundred channels of distraction to choose from. I turn it off. I have my iPod and several playlists to choose from, and I prefer to look out the window and watch people come and go, enjoy the flight of various birds, and follow the clouds as they drift along.

In the blank screen, I see my reflection. Step by step we walk together, keeping a measured pace, but although we walk toward each other, we never seem to meet. Deep, huh?
~~~~~
Dear Man, Woman, or Undetermined Gym Goer,

While I realize that one goes to the gym with the intent of achieving their desired level of fitness;

And while I know that achieving the desired level of fitness will probably involve sweating, perhaps copiously;

I should not have to smell the evidence of your profuse sweating while I am trying to maintain a steady pace and taking deep, deep breaths. Gagging while walking is not recommended.

Also, what do you eat that produces such a stink? Or was it something you rolled in? I once knew a dog that rolled in roadkill and didn't come home with a funk like yours. May I introduce you to a little thing called deodorant? Arm and Hammer makes one that's natural and unscented, if perfume is your concern...but given your odor on Monday morning, I wouldn't think perfume would be a bad thing.

Or, if deodorant is just not available, appropriate, or against your religion, perhaps you could hand around filter masks for the rest of us? I sure would appreciate it, and I'm fairly certain my fellow patrons would, too.

Sincerely,
The woman on treadmill number three who may have tried to walk her second mile while holding her breath