Independence Day

Yep, this is a repost, but why re-write what already suits??
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In writing the Declaration of Independence, in ratifying it, in signing their names to it, the men named at the bottom risked the very things they hoped to secure for themselves and for future generations. They were performing an act of treason, and by putting their names to it they made of themselves targets for the man, for the nation, they accused. They fought for the principles they named, fought for their families, for their lives, and for the burgeoning life of the tender new nation they hoped to nurture into a great place, a free place, a place where anyone could hope to not just survive, but thrive - a place where anyone willing to put their all into it, to do their very best, could find success, no matter what their gods, their nation of origin.

Since that time, people have tried to follow their lead, standing up and making their voices heard to help secure their rights, the rights of future generations. They have added color and sex to the list of things that cannot determine success, cannot be used as an excuse to deny equal opportunity.

You do the same when you vote. You do it when you attend council meetings, board meetings, town hall meetings, and speak your piece; when you ask the hard questions, protest with signs, songs, shouts; when you show people who think they own this nation to the exclusion of others, people who think they have the right to amend your rights to suit them, that you are watching them, that you SEE them, that you know better.

You do it when you tell our armed forces "Thank you for your service" whether you agree with whatever conflicts we're embroiled in or not - because they are standing up for our liberty doing a hard, dirty, often thankless job - and they are there, ultimately, to preserve our nation and its principles (As an aside - thank you, men and women of the armed forces. Thank you, and blessed be, and come home safe to the families who love you, miss you, and hope only for your swift return.).

You do it when you teach the children in your life what it means to be free - freedom to fly means freedom to fall, and freedom to rise up again; freedom to succeed means freedom to fail, and to try once more; freedom to speak means freedom for dissenting opinions to be heard; freedom is not comfortable - at times, it is downright terrifying...but it is necessary to the human spirit.

Given a choice to be cold, hungry, ragged, poor, weary, worn and free, or to be clothed, fed, housed, succored, safe and bound - I will be free. Do not make the mistake of giving up your freedom for the illusion of safety - you will one day wake to find you have nothing left but the yoke you bound yourself to.

I could go on, but to what purpose? You understand or you don't - and my little rant won't sway anyone, I fear.

Here, then, is a transcript of our most essential document, the one that began it all, the one that first gave shape to our name, to our identity as a nation. Read, if nothing else, the first two paragraphs. They are as stirring, heartfelt, and powerful now as when they were first written.
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IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

The 56 signatures on the Declaration appear in the positions indicated:
Column 1 - Georgia: Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton

Column 2 - North Carolina: William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn South Carolina: Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton

Column 3 - Massachusetts: John Hancock Maryland: Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton Virginia: George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton

Column 4 - Pennsylvania: Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross Delaware: Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean

Column 5 - New York: William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris New Jersey: Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark

Column 6 - New Hampshire: Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple Massachusetts: Samuel Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry Rhode Island: Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery Connecticut: Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott New Hampshire: Matthew Thornton
~~~
If you've made it this far, thank you. To support out troops, go visit Any Soldier or Troop BeBop (I know this woman - she's a force of nature!). I wish you a safe, joyous, and happy Independence Day.

Ayuh.

I Quit Counting At Fifty

My name is not Steve.

There is no portion of my anatomy that needs lengthening, hardening, or improved endurance.

I don't know who "she" is or why her enjoyment hinges upon my performance, and I don't care. "She" can take care of herself - I have a family to look after.

I don't care about what's left of Victoria's secrets - those scraps of fabric wouldn't cover my big toe, let alone the rest of me.

I don't need to find someone's phone number via a shady Internet service. I have a phone book.

If I need pharmaceutical aid, I have a doctor and a pharmacy that can oblige me - I won't be going anywhere I need a passport to get my medication.

I don't care how wonderful your computer program is, I am not interested in it. My laptop is full. Full I tell you! It will not hold a jot more, not one little bit.

I don't care to see your new pictures or live web-cam. I certainly am not interested in seeing you in your underwear. Have we met? What makes you think I give a rat's patootie about your anatomy - if I want nekkid or barely dressed, I have children who will oblige me whether I like it or not. Underwear does not turn me on - it reminds me of laundry I haven't done yet.

I think Pandora jewelry is several kinds of hideous and wouldn't wear it, let alone advertise it, without being paid huge, disgusting, truly obscene amounts of money, and even then I would still say I thought it was hideous. It is not improved by being presented in another language (especially a language that I barely speak). If you love it beyond measure, hurrah for you, you can have my share and godspeed - we each have our own tastes and mine don't run in that direction.

Whatever you think I want to get up to in a photo booth, you're wrong. Just wrong. Nope. Nope, nope, nope.

If I want pictures of hot nude men and male celebrities, I will Google search them, thanks anyway. Also, I do not want pictures of hot nude men or male celebrities.

I neither desire nor require a payday loan. In case you haven't read this blog (and clearly, someone hasn't), I do not have paydays. And if I did, I would know better than to get loans predicated on money I haven't earned yet, with huge interest rates and usurious terms.

I don't need nude models. I have children. I see all the anatomy I care to (and plenty that I don't) on a regular basis, with bonus poop! I go to clothing optional events to sell...er...clothing, actually (hmm...), so I am not in need of any adult bits-n-pieces either. Also, I have Someone, who provides all the fun bits-n-pieces I want on demand and without requiring a credit card or loading a virus onto my hard drive, so thanks but no thanks.

I was gone for ten days. I returned to an e-mail box full of notices of blog comments. My heart did not go pity-pat. I know better. Of nearly two-hundred e-mails, more than fifty were blog comments. Four were from actual people-type people. The rest were what I will generously call "spam". This has only started since I disabled word verification on comments.

My blog is a tiny speck in the Blue Nowhere - why am I one of the lucky spamees??

I will no longer permit anonymous comments. Sorry. If you want to say something on my blog, you will have to identify yourself, or at least make an effort to amuse me by making up a false identity. C'mon, pseudonyms can be fun!

Spam...bah!

I Wonder What It Will Be

Anybody Home In There?

I am a little concerned about the Evil Genius.

Either he's suffering from a traumatic head injury that he failed to tell me about or...oh, yeah, wait...he's nine. That explains it.

He is forgetful. To an exasperating extent.

He leaves lights on that should be turned off. He leaves dishes and cups and crumbs on the table and dishes out huge servings of attitude when reminded to clean up after himself. Likewise with the empty wrappers and containers. He leaves clothes on the floor, and toys, and books and...is that Jimmy Hoffa???

He leaves toys at other people's houses, including the iPod Touch his father gave him and the cell phone that he's supposed to keep charged and with him when he's not home. He leaves his cell phone off or uncharged most of the time. He leaves doors open that should be closed, leaves things withing Sprout's reach that should not be there.

He forgets things I told him only moments ago. He forgets to brush his teeth or clear off his bed or flush the toilet. Sometimes he forgets to comb his hair or change his clothes for days on end unless I remind him relentlessly to do so.

And he's not even a tween yet, let alone a teen.

I'm going to need Xanax...

And We're Off!

Sometime this evening, Someone will be home. Whew, we've missed him!

As soon as he gets home, we'll have to get his laundry done and packed, because tomorrow morning at the crack of ohmygodit'searly! we are pulling out of Casa de Crazy and heading for the wilds of Earlville, Illinois. That's about a fourteen hour drive if we don't stop to eat, pee, fuel up, or let the Sprout run a little.

Eek.

Although I am game to try making it in one go, I am fairly certain we'll be stopping before we get to Earlville. Between Sprout, who only puts up with that car-seat nonsense for a minimum of time, and Someone, who will just have finished a fourteen-plus hour drive, I think the tolerance for van sitting will not permit more than a ten-hour or so haul. We'll see...

Earlville...sounds like a thriving metropolis doesn't it?

I wouldn't be going, but the band was hired to perform at an event there...and it's kind of difficult to sing in Illinois when I'm in Ohio (which is where I WOULD be going if we weren't singing in Illinois). Anyone know the trick to bi-location??

Today will be busy here - I need to get all the little (and not so little) last-minute things done. Sprout is likely to spend most of the day disgruntled, as she will have to play by herself for a while - T picked the Evil Genius up last night, which made the boy happy but left me without entertainment for Sprout, who adores nothing better than to play with her Big Brudder.

Oh, well...

If I have time later I'll pre-post some things...otherwise, y'all are on your own until I get back. Help yourself to whatever's in the fridge, stay out of the liquor cabinet, and for the love of all that's holy, wouldja please flush this time?

Yawn

I'm tired.

I feel boring.

Sprout has been waking up in the night again, and also early in the morning. I've taken to taking her into my bed so she can nestle in with me and sleep a little more. A sleep-deprived Sprout is not pretty or fun!

I have not been going anywhere much of late. Too much to do, of late - trying to sew, laundry, housework, getting ready for the trip, and simply wrangling two energetic and attention-demanding kids. The grocery store is about the edge of our travel limits.

Thank goodness for Netflix. T let us use his account, and the Evil Genius and I take turns picking things to ignore. Right now we're watching the series "Life After People". I am cleaning by inches, packing a little at a time, asking the Evil Genius to play with Sprout while I clean the van and trailer. He's been wonderful, and she adores him so she doesn't mind that I go outside without her.

I could use some kid-free time, if I'm being honest...but that's a rare commodity. I got a little last Saturday - some friends came over and minded the spawn while I went up to Mum's for an artists' market. It was nice. More, please!

It's looking like Someone will not be home until late on Thursday. It'll be a long, busy day for me - T is picking up the Evil Genius (the little dude doesn't want to go on this trip, and I figured he and his father could use some time together, so the boy will have ten days with his dad, all good), I need to get the trailer and van packed and hitched (imagine how fun that'll be, on my own!), get trash out, cat boxes cleaned, garden watered, and generally making everything ready, because we're leaving at 6 in the morning on Friday. Someone can sleep a bit in the van if the baby behaves herself. It's at least a fourteen hour drive. I hope to do it all, but realistically we'll be lucky to make ten or twelve hours. Sprout starts to get pissed off and tells us about it, and there's only so much of that we can take before we have to stop.

I'd love to help you get to sleep with more details, but I need to get off my tired arse and get to doing laundry, finish packing, and running errands.

What're your days looking like?

Thoughtfetti

Gah! I cleaned the shower drain today. Did you know shower drains have removable drain plates? I've lived here at Casa de Crazy for what, twelve years? I didn't know that... Anyway, I have long hair. Long hair, apparently, clog drains. Huh. So I noticed these two tiny screws and thought to myself "Self, if we remove these screws, I bet we could get that drain a lot cleaner than we are with these tweezers." Don't ask. Screws removed, I used pliers to reach down the drain. What? You think I'm sticking body parts down there?? I removed something roughly the size and shape of a ferret. Joy.

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Today I was explaining what addiction is to the Evil Genius. Good grief, that's a hell of a concept to boil down to nine-year-old understanding. We finally concluded that addiction is when one's mind or body believes that it needs something in order to function when, in fact, that something is not only NOT needed to live, it is contrary to sustaining life.

~~~~~

Sprout outgrew her old car seat. Mum got her a new one. The new seat is huge! It bears more than a passing resemblance to a NASA launch seat

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Crab legs are on sale at the market. Even on sale they're an extravagance. Do I dare?

~~~~~

I shucked corn for dinner tonight, and it brought me back to my childhood - we would shuck corn out behind the kitchen and feed the husks to the horses. They loved 'em. I miss Cole Walker's sweet corn...

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I am supposed to take medication daily...twice a day, in fact. It's not that difficult a concept - take one pill in the morning and one in the evening, and hey-presto! Slightly better health! So why is it that as often as not I miss one or both pill-takings?

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With Someone out of town, I have had the whole bed to myself. I get to wallow over half and acre (Queen sized bed) with impunity. With only one occupant, that bed is enormous. Fun as hogging the covers is, I will be very happy when he's home.
~~~~~

I adore listening to my children at play. Sprout is laughing like a maniac right now. It's beautiful

~~~~~

If wool comes from sheep, does steel wool come from really tough sheep?

And why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Veneer

It's so thin. Transparent, barely there, it gives so easily.

But it's all we have, sometimes.

I am her source of comfort, her solace, the one she turns to when she doesn't understand.

I am Mama, source of all things good.

I'm not supposed to break. The world is full of monsters. She shouldn't wonder if I am one of them.

Snug in my arms, breath slow and even, asleep, she trusts me still.

She saw the dark light that shines through the web of cracks and she trusts me still.

If the veneer crumbles and no one notices, does it count?

Update, Update, Keylime Pie?

Tuesdays usually mean a jaunt up to Mum's for the day. We run errands or hang out at her house doing crafty stuff, gossiping, and generally spending time together. I often bring the kids with me so Someone can have a quiet day.

Today, though, we opted out. Someone is out of town, Mum had weirdness with her voice, it was raining, and we both had things to get done. I'll haul the kids up there on Thursday, even if it's only to hook up the trailer and bring it back to the Casa (I need it here to pack for the event we're going to next week).

I decided I should try to update my phone.

What. A. Process.

Next time I need something to do on a rainy day, I'll refinish the floors. It'll be easier and take less time.

As I write this, the phone is supposedly restoring itself after the update is complete. I have been at it since late this morning! So maybe I have never, ever synched or updated it, and maybe that's a no-no...but good grief, even so, all dang day??

I need to clean some things off of the phone, like some of the over 2,000 photos. Wow. I had no idea there were so many. By later tonight, there will be far fewer.

It is taking long enough that I am wondering what to do while I wait. I'm thinking I should bake a keylime pie. Nothing says "updated phone" like keylime pie, right?

Just a Day

It has been an unremarkable day, really.

The clothes dryer crapped out this weekend - the brand new one - and a repair man came today to teach it the error of its ways. Seems the blower fan came unseated. Of course it did - what else would one expect from an appliance at Casa de Crazy?

I was told to expect the repair person between eight and noon. I woke up a few minutes after eight (don't be jealous, I was up until one-thirty, sewing), went out to the garage to move the old washer out of the way (fun, that, when one is moving the thing alone). He got here at about nine, so I had a little time to play with Sprout and ignore the dirty dishes left over from the weekend (I worked at the track all weekend, leaving house and kids to the tender mercies of Someone and Handy J. Very few dishes were done, but the children, critters, and Casa de Crazy survived intact).

Sprout slept through the night, so that was a bonus...I definitely think she's feeling better. She's certainly eating like crazy, making up for her loss of appetite/throwing up last week.

I put on a movie - Rango - for the kids this morning, to keep them occupied while the repair fellow was here. I had to shut the cats into my room. Bird was up on the couch, entranced. Sprout clambered up and settled in on his lap. Seemingly unaware, her put an arm around her, she leaned back and settled into him, and they watched the movie for about twenty minutes like that. I watched them watching the movie, my two kids together. Sweet.

The dryer was a fairly quick fix. The repair man helped me move the old one into the garage, and I'll get it over by the washer tomorrow so I can maybe park in the garage for a change.

A run to the bank (I was overdrawn, and this weekend garnered me some income to fill that hole), to the grocery store, then home, and it was nap time.

Laundry throughout the afternoon. A phone call or two. A friend came over for dinner, a nice distraction from the presence that isn't here right now.

Boring, huh?

One less day without Someone, who spent the night and today driving/riding with Handy J, on their way to Handy J's land which needs some maintenance.

There was no lottery winning, no phone call telling me I'm being published, no spectacular success or failure - just a day. I'll take it - I so often feel as thought I'm running along the razor's edge of disaster, a dose of ordinary makes a nice change.

Thoughfetti

I took Sprout to the pediatrician on Wednesday - turns out her cold turned into a double ear infection. Pink medicine twice a day since then and she's feeling better, if not completely well.

~~~~~

Someone is out of town until the fourteenth. We leave the fifteenth for Illinois and a ten day gig. This is going to be...interesting...

~~~~~

The brand new clothes dryer crapped out. Luckily Handy J was visiting and got the old one sort of working, so Someone could have clean clothes for his trip and I can catch up on the mountain of wash that needs doing. A repair person is coming in the morning...poor fellow, he has no idea what kind of gremlins inhabit this house...

~~~~~

I will get it all done...I will get it all done...I will get it all done...

~~~~~

The Evil Genius is nine going on fourteen - where the heck did that attitude come from?

~~~~~

I miss Someone - only gone a few hours, but I miss him.

~~~~~

I'm watching Eddie Izzard and now my sides ache. Some hurts are good ones...

~~~~~

Is it silly that I asked Someone to leave me a shirt he's worn so I could put it on a pillow and hold it while I slept?

Memorium

Photo found here and copied entirely without permission but not without respect.

Many of my family have served their country in the various branches. My brother was in the Army, but thankfully got out when yet another gopher hole tried to eat his ankle. Don't ask. My Uncle was in the Air Force, even flying Air Force Two for a while. My Grandfather was in the Coast Guard during World War II. I have a cousin in the Air Force. I believe he flies Airforce somethingorother from time to time. I have a friend who was in the Army during the Vietnam War (conflict, my ass!) - I never once resented the calls at three-o'clock in the morning; nightmares shy away from friendly voices, from reason and reassurance. Another friend was in the Army until it broke his back - literally. He survived, but not his plans for a lifetime in the military - they don't want broken people, no matter how useful or clever they are. Someone's family is jam-packed with folks who've served - mostly Navy, I believe - and deserve some respect and thanks. So...thanks.

For a history of this day, go here. Or here. Or here. In a nutshell, Memorial Day is for remembering the fallen. Veteran's Day is for honoring the living. That's why they get two days, and so they should. Men and women stand up and make targets of themselves to maintain our freedoms every day of the year, so the least we can do is take two days to tell them "Thanks. Thanks for acting against human nature and protecting me and mine. Thanks for losing an arm, a leg, a life so that I don't have to."

It's not about the politics. I'm non-violent. I don't think war is ever a reasonable response to conflict. I don't believe that wars are fought for ideal, but rather for political and/or financial gains. I won't forget, though, that people have laid down their lives so that I may stand on a street corner protesting (I never would) them, or denigrating (never, ever!) them for their service.

Perhaps one day, we won't have any new graves to decorate. Until then, I remember and (as best I can) I honor.

Sweet Horribles

She's got a fever.

She's been coughing so hard she vomits.

It's been a week. A cold, the pediatrician said.

She has a whine, a sort of coyote howl/wookie noise. Her voice breaks halfway through, and she somehow manages to make two noises at once, a dissonance that grates our ear bones and drives to our cores. We wince, grumble, cringe, sympathize, try to comfort.

Snot running out of her nose, she can't breathe well, so she doesn't sleep well.

Last night it was sleep for fifteen minutes, get up and rock the baby, get her settled, lie back down, repeat. Hours on end. Finally, she threw up in her crib. Too tired to think straight, I didn't wake Someone and have him hold her while I changed the crib sheets; I just cleaned her up and brought her to bed with us where she slept fitfully and I didn't sleep much at all.

She was hot to the touch. Bad Mama, I don't have a working thermometer, but even when I did I relied as much on the kiss-the-neck method of fever detection as any contraption. Yeah, yeah.

She vomited in her sleep again, coughing and choking as I got her up and caught it in my cover sheet, held her until she was quiet again. Later, we went into the living room so Someone could get some rest. I can lie on the couch with her...mostly. My butt sticks out over the edge and I have to balance myself carefully so I don't fall off but she is safe between me and the back of the couch, and as long as I don't move, she sleeps.

Of course, it is Sunday. A holiday weekend, no less. Of course the pediatrician's office is closed. Of course she does not seem sick enough to warrant an ER visit...yet...so it has been a worrying sort of day. What to do...

Late morning, Someone was up - he finally got a few hours of good rest - and I handed her off for the sake of a shower, of washing spit-up residue and snot and fever heat and sweat off of me, clean for a few minutes any way.

I came out of the bathroom to silence. Cautiously crept into the living room.

Nestled in her Papa's arms, limp and warm, she was asleep. Her cheek rested on his shoulder, his cheek rested on her soft little head. His eyes were closed, just being in the moment. I listened to her breath, soft, wet, rapid, almost panting.

I found the infant's ibuprofen. It helped a little - she drank some juice, ate part of a graham cracker, played a little, napped with me.

I am still debating whether we should drive to the ER. She's limp, listless, more than she's active. This child who runs, plays, babbles, laughs, and cries relentlessly through the day has been still and silent. It's the fever - it takes the fizz out of a body. I hate to use the ER as a doctor's office. If she's not much better by later tonight, I'll make the drive.

I hate it when my kids feel puny. I love it when she takes comfort in us, cuddled up close, wet little breaths rattling across our cheeks.

I need to go get more ibuprofen.

Safari, So Good

I'm feeling a little stressed, these days. Okay, so a little more stressed. I have a week to do the sewing that I would usually try to get done in a month because Someone is heading out of town for ten days on June 4, which means he'll be getting back the day before we have to head out to Illinois for a ten day band gig/gathering.

In that time I may or may not be able to do any sewing because the Evil Genius and Sprout insist on actually being fed from time to time, and they seem to want clean clothing as well. Also, there's the tiny matter of getting the trailer packed and down from Mum's to the Casa, and since the Evil Genius opted out of this trip and is staying with T, I have to get him packed as well. Then there's the pre-cooking for camping, and grocery shopping, and I may have forgotten to line up house/garden minders yet, so there's that, too.

Then, when we get back from Illinois, we will have a few days to do laundry and shop for more groceries before we haul out to Ohio for a show, which is where I'll be trying to sell whatever I managed to sew these next seven days.

Meanwhile, I also have a little once-a-month market to help Mum with while Someone's away, band rehearsals, and did I mention sewing?

So I was trying to get a start on that sewing. I got all the fabric sorted by category and color, made and inventory of what I have and what it'll be turned into, and hauled out the serger to get started.

One serger didn't come back from cleaning/service with the right plug/pedal combination, but luckily it can share the sewing machine's thingy. I don't usually use it since it's the smaller serger of the two I can use. The big serger was ready to go...but then it ran out of thread on one of the loopers. That means re-threading. On a sewing machine, this is no biggie - one thread, one needle, just follow the arrows printed on the machine if you're not familiar with it.

On a serger, though...hoooooie.

There are four threads, two for loopers and two for needles, and gods help you if you don't get them exactly right, in the right order. Talk about some thread-y chaos.

So I tried to re-thread the big serger, but it wasn't having any of me. Ack! Fine, I'll use the small one. Only, I took one of the thread cones from the small one to try and thread the big one, so now I have to re-thread the small one.

In the right order.

I have no manual.

There are four stations for thread cones. Were I designing one of these machines, the thread would go in order from left to right.

I did not design these machines.

An angry person with a grudge against sewers made these machines.

I tried for an hour to get it working, to no avail.

I cried.

I begged for mercy.

I may have offered to sacrificed a cat some M&Ms to it.

Then I realized...there is the Blue Nowhere!

O Great and Powerful Blue Nowhere, I cried, tell me true, in what order does one thread a White Speedylock?

And the Blue Nowhere, in the voice of Jeeves (of whom I ask many things) answered thusly: O confused and tearful woman, it is so - Upper Looper, Lower Looper, Right Needle, Left Needle, and here's a handy diagram to tell you which is which. Now dry your tears and gitter done.

And so I did.

Much serging commenced.

The next day, more serging...until there was a fabric snag, a pull, an ominous CRACK followed by a whinge and buzz that boded no good.

A needle broke.

Okay, okay, we're a big girl, we can handle this.

Umm.

How does one get the needle out?

Apparently I do not know that incantation...must have been out that day at Magical Serger Operation School. Hey, look, there's a screw on the needle holder thingy. Hey, look, here's a screwdriver. One plus one equals...umm...oh.

The needle holder thingy came off, alright. With the needles firmly entrenched in their nests, one sound one, one broken one waiting to get all stab-y with me if I didn't leave it alone.

There are two tiny, wee holes just above the needles. Hey, in my handy, dandy, sewing tools kit there's a sort of thinnish bit of metal that vaguely resembles a hex/Allen wrench if you have good eyes and don't squint too hard at it. Maybe that'll...hey! The needles fell out. Onto the carpet. Near my bare feet.

I need a magnet on a stick, but had to use my eyes instead. Found needles, tossed broken one, rummaged for new one, then...uh-oh...

How far into the needle holder thingy do they go? It has to be right or the thread won't catch or the needles will break. There's no line, not stop, nothing. Aww, dang.

Also, the needles have to go in before the thingy is put back, because otherwise they'll snag on the feed dog. Don't ask.

At this point, I am very happy that my sewing tools kit includes pliers, screwdriver, tiny, wee wrench thing, and a generous stoup of rum.

Needles back in place, silver screw retrieved from carpet, thingy tightened down and...

Oh, dear...

I need to re-thread it. Gulp.

Oh beloved Blue Nowhere....

I have now used a Sharpie marker (blue, of course) to mark the order of threading so I don't have to oil the machine after I've cried all over it again. I've had some more snags but have managed to stop before the looper is pulled into the needles, thus causing more breakage.

I may get one piece finished before next week. Where's that rum?
~~~~~
All of the above to say, thank goodness for iPhones, Safari, and the portable access to the Blue Nowere they provide, or I'd still be in tears!

Yellow

I'm something ob a blue person. You may have noticed my blog's color scheme? No? Take a look around, I'll wait.

See?

A touch blue, yes?

If you met me in real life (and those who do know me will confirm this, I am certain) you may notice a distinct and somewhat monochromatic color scheme to my attire. It may be a wee...erm...blue-ish. Sometimes there may be a touch of green or purple, but almost never red, yellow, or any other warm color. I am distinctly not a brown person, either. I like it fine on other folks, but it's just not for me. For a long time, I even had more than a little blue in my hair. Sigh. I miss that blue...but it was one of the first luxuries to go the way of the Dodo when things got...tight...around here.

When I wear jewelry (and it's rare), I wear silver and blue. Go figure.

It wasn't a conscious thing, this blueing. I have an old photo from my high school days in which I am wearing a brown and rust ensemble that I recall adoring. I have a few shirts that are entirely green, black, or purple, and a collection of t-shirts from my younger days that I keep for the sake of nostalgia. I no longer wear t-shirts of any color, at least not in public. I do have some over-sized t-shirts that I sleep in when we have company or are sleeping somewhere besides Casa de Crazy. I adore my 5X sleepers!

My favorite Morning Glories are the blue ones I planted a few years ago near the stairs. Most of the Iris planted near the mail box are blue or black.

Oddly, Rosie the Mule (my beloved Astro Van) is dark red. Just go to show love is colorblind.

Given the above, you wouldn't think I'd much care for this:

They planted themselves, appearing out of nowhere one year and propagating since. I think there are eight of them, now. I have left that patch of earth alone because I don't want to disturb them. They're the absolute last things I would have planted...but I adore them, so they stay.

Don't hold you breath for me changing my personal color scheme, though...unless you think blue is your hue...

Bob, Bob, Bobbin' Along

Woot! I finally got off me arse and got Bob the Wonder Computer hooked back up to the house, so I can blog and surf the net on my beloved laptop instead of the perfectly lovely, but not Bob, desktop machine. Yay!

Meanwhile, if you e-mailed, commented, or otherwise communicated with me electronically in the last few months and I haven't responded, I am working on it - I had a backlog of nearly 300 e-mails to go through, and it's taking me a minute.

Bob's old. He's slow. His battery is crapping out and his processor is slow enough to cause log jam whenever I try to navigate from one page to another...but I love him, and I'm delighted to have him back up and running. Now, if only I can get Sprout to give me a few minutes to blog every day, I'll feel golden...at least about blogging!

Baloney Baffles Brains

I'm just going to jump right in, here.

Cassa de Crazy does not have what you could call a household income. Because of that, we have to rely on the benevolence of family and the kindness of strangers for certain things. Things like health care.

In March I received a letter telling me that Sprout's Medicaid was terminated, effective at the end of March, and I should apply for the other low/no-cost coverage.

I called the alternative folks and was told that I could not apply for Sprout until the Medicaid had, in fact, run out, but they would take my information and send me the paperwork so I could be ahead of the game.

No paperwork ever arrived at Casa de Crazy - they sent it to T, because the Evil Genius is/was covered by the alternative, and they added Sprout to that account. More on that in a minute.

I called them again to ask for the paperwork, and was informed that it had been sent. Okay, then.

Fast forward a few weeks, to this morning. Sprout had an appointment for a check-up. Not having valid insurance means paying cash, of which I have none, so I once again called the alternative to find out what was going on.

Here's where it gets fun.

I have to have a letter from T that Sprout is once again in my custody because the alternative had her listed as in HIS custody, even though he is not her father. Hmm. I explained that he's not her father, and never was, hasn't lived with us in three years, and he never had custody of her to begin with. Doesn't matter...I must have a letter from him saying she is in my custody. WTF?? Then I was told I also have to have proof of income. How do I prove no income? I told the bureau-bot to whom I was speaking that we have no income. She curtly told me that I don't qualify for their coverage and should call Medicaid.

But Medicaid told me to call you, I said.

Well, I must have neglected to send them paperwork or something, she told me, because we don't qualify for the alternative and I have to apply for Medicaid, and meanwhile if I ever want to get Sprout on the alternative I will have to have a letter from T (who is not her parent and never had custody of her) that she is back in my household (although she was never gone) and that I am now (although I never wasn't) her primary parent, and he will STILL be considered the primary parent on the account despite the fact that I am and always have been the Evil Genius's custodial parent (for legal purposes, not because there's anything wrong with T) and he isn't Sprout's parent at all, and there's nothing I can do about that unless I want to terminate the account (and thus the Evil Genius's coverage) and reapply entirely. Oh, and they have recently announced that they are limiting or denying overage to new accounts because so many people need low/no-cost healthcare, they can't afford to cover us all.

I called Medicaid and got a long recording about paperwork that doesn't apply to me, and after two-and-one-half minutes of instructions could finally leave a message. They may or may not call me back today.

So I called the doctor's office and explained what was happening, and was told too bad, if there's no insurance we have to pay cash up front, period. They would be willing to cancel our appointment, though.

Sigh.

So now I'm waiting for a call from someone who will likely tell me I didn't send in the right paperwork or whatever (although I DID, in fact, sent in all that was required) and now have to donate a kidney and a rhubarb pie in order to re-process, and meanwhile Sprout escapes the immunizations and the needles that go along with them a little longer, so she's not too sorry about all this.

Y'all, I speak clearly. I don't stutter, mumble, or ramble. I am concise, and intelligent enough to understand what is required and to provide it. I am not confused by the reams or paperwork I have to deal with just to make sure my kids can go to the doctor if they need to. I don't have coverage, myself, and neither does Someone - we are adults and can just deal with whatever comes at us, thank you. Kids are different.

Why is it that I was not told that T was the primary parent? Why didn't the first agent I spoke to TELL ME that he would be listed as Sprout's primary parent as well, especially when I made it clear that she had a different father and a different last name? Why did I give MY address and phone number to these people only to have paperwork sent to T? Why do I have to have a letter from a man who is in NO WAY related to my daughter and has NEVER had custody of her so that I may procure coverage for her?

Argh!

Sigh.

Baloney baffles brains...

If you need me, I'll be in the corner, sucking my thumb and whimpering. Bring me a Mai-Thai, would you?

I Wonder...

I had occasion to stop by the Redneck Central General Horspital and Sock Emporium a few days ago, visiting Mum (she was in with a generally non-threatening by mighty unpleasant ailment). I drove around and around the parking lot before deciding to bend reality a little and park in the clergy spaces. Now, don't fret; I AM clergy, an ordained minister in fact. It's just that I wasn't really there for clerical purposes, unless you consider clean frilly-unmentionables as spiritually uplifting, which, now that I think of it, I do, so there.

The clergy spots are at one end of the lot, a goodly but not unpleasant or difficult walk to the entrance. Nearer the entrance were spaces reserved for doctors and then handicapped folks, and finally, closest of all, were these:

These spaces were full, save one. As I chanced to walk by, that one was filled by an SUV of enormous proportions. Once it was parked, out stepped two women who were easily in their fifties, perhaps sixties.

I wonder which of the able-bodied women was expecting?

I understand the frustration of finding a parking space at this hospital - it's a wonderful facility, but there's a dearth of parking in their lot, and folks often have to park across the street and hoof it, which can be awkward when bringing supplies or contraband nibblies in to their loved ones.

Frustration or not, unless those women were both illiterate or non-English speaking, and didn't recognize the meaning of the stork picture, what were they thinking? Women in labor don't need to be walking halfway across the lot to check in. Women who are lazy or rude, on the other hand...

And no, I don't give a damn that they were a bit older...they were both perfectly fit, walking quickly and without assistance, neither one on oxygen, neither one handicapped in any visible way. One's age does not privilege one to rudeness and selfish disregard for others and for posted signs.

I was sorely tempted to ask them "So which one of you is expecting?" or "When are you due?"

Thoughtfetti, Travel Edition

Packing food, clothing, and shelter for two adults and two children into one Astro van? Cue the Tetris music.

~~~~~

There is a candidate for something political in Alabama named Twinkle. That made me smile. Politics could use a little more twinkle and a little less muck.

~~~~~

Gryphon's Nest (the campground where the band performed) is a one day drive from Casa de Crazy, unless you have two kids and the need to pee on a regular basis. We did it in two just to make it easier on us all. The owner is generous, good-natured, and thoughtful. The site is amazing, and inexpensive to rent. Anyone want to plan a group camp?

~~~~~

The drive to Texas was smooth, and bless Texas's heart for bumping the speed limit to 75. They must have seen us coming.

~~~~

We did not stop in Houston...the baby was sleeping, which means prime drive time. Sorry, Uncle Hermit and Nanny...

~~~~~

Hey, Texas? They're called "turn signals", and there's one on each side.

~~~~~

Met the rest of Someone's family in Round Rock. Nice folks.

~~~~~

Had a Round Rock Doughnut. Good stuff...but not dissimilar to a Krispy Kreme, so at least I won't have to drive that far for a doughnut fix.

~~~~~

Had a beef rib. It was alright, but if I'm being honest I prefer brisket, or pork ribs.

~~~~~

I have park envy - Austin and Round Rock are awash with amazing parks. The kids had plenty of play time and Someone got in some decent disc golf hours.

~~~~~

I met a new old friend, a woman I've known online for more than a decade but never met in person before. Beautiful lady...half a day was hardly a start, so I guess we'll just have to visit again.

~~~~~

Sprout started a fever the afternoon before we headed home. Travelling with a feverish baby and no fever meds? Not tops on the list of fun things to do.

~~~~~

When did motel rooms get so costly? Half our cash went into rooms, and we only needed a room twice!

~~~~~

Despite baby fever, we had a smooth ride home, unless you count the pavement on I20 in Mississippi...

~~~~~

It's good to be home. Thank you, Kit, for making sure we still had a home to come back to!