Quote of the day...er...week...umm...hey, look, a quote!!

"...besides love, independence of thought is the greatest gift an adult can give a child." - Bryce Courtenay, The Power of One

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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Poly Wanna

It occurs to me that, while I find it perfectly "normal", my relationship with Someone is entirely outside the norm.

As if shacking up and having a baby without (gasp) wedding vows being involved (although if you think the ring or the vows cause babies, then my disillusionment with the current school system holds and we really should have a talk) and our paganism weren't enough out of the ordinary, we have another facet to our relationship that I haven't much (if at all) addressed here, although he's mentioned it a time or two on one or the other of his blogs.

It's those mentions, in fact, that have caused me to realize the absence of certain information here - friends of mine who read our blogs have asked me about things he's said regarding a girlfriend.

You see, we have a polyamorous relationship.

Not that there are fifteen of us shacking up here at Casa de Crazy - although I wouldn't complain as long as everyone else did chores, leaving me free to lounge on the couch all day nibbling grapes. What do you mean, how would that be different than my life now??

Nope - here at the house, there's us, the cats, and the kid (soon to be kids).

Lemme 'splain.

Someone and I met largely because he wrote a post about polyamoury that caught my attention. I liked his viewpoint and how he expressed himself. In a later post we had a conversation about love and how it's defined and expressed in the comments section of that post. Several others joined in. It was lively, and I enjoyed it.

I was not poly at the time, because T and I were still married and, while I'd told him from the start that I was fine with an open relationship, he hated the idea and said so...so our boundaries were clear - monogamy.

I have never, in fact, been in a poly relationship before this one...mostly because I can honestly say this is only the second relationship I've been in, and while I feel quite comfortable with the idea of spending the rest of my life with Someone, it doesn't exactly make me a woman of the world, does it?

I've long believed that restricting love to one, and only one, was not right for me. I can live with monogamy in a sexual sense, but when loving (beyond the physical) is also bound up in vows and expectations, I believe the heart...fails...

I'm going to continue this in other posts, because otherwise it'll be too freakin' long...stick with me, won't you?


Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Oh, I'm stickin', all right...


Kyddryn said...

Swan - lucky, lucky me...

Susan said...


Kyddryn said...

Bless you, Mizz Susan...I know it's an odd topic about a practice not widely accepted and often decidedly uncomfortable for folks...