Quote of the day...er...week...umm...hey, look, a quote!!

Tibi gratias agimus quod nihil fumas.

It says "...freedom of...", not "...freedom from...".

"It's amazing to me how many people think that voting to have the government give poor people money is compassion. Helping poor and suffering people is compassion. Voting for our government to use guns to give money to help poor and suffering people is immoral self-righteous bullying laziness. People need to be fed, medicated, educated, clothed, and sheltered, and if we're compassionate we'll help them, but you get no moral credit for forcing other people to do what you think is right. There is great joy in helping people, but no joy in doing it at gunpoint." - Penn Jillette







Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Poly Wanna Some More

This past Summer, Someone met another woman for whom he felt great attraction...and love. He spoke to me about it, asked if I would truly be alright with him acting on his feelings.

There's a risk in being poly - what if he finds he likes the other better? What if he finds he loves her more, would rather be with her?

What if he realizes that I am not, after all, home?

It's scary, and for that alone it would be easy to take up the cry of "Monogamy! Monogamy!!". Still...what kind of love imprisons? I'd rather know he's here because it's where he wants to be, not because he feels he can't be anywhere else.

I examined my own feelings and told him I was fine with it. This was just after we'd discovered I was/am pregnant, and I admit to some trepidation about things...but mostly because I am not lively, not light in spirit, not petite and lithe in the ways that Lady R is (Lady R I shall call her so as to protect her identity until such time as SHE wishes to make herself public). I was very aware of the dangers involved with telling one's love to go and love another, freely...

But you can't hold onto the wind, can you? Or water? Or fire? Even the earth cannot, truly, be owned...and as I hold these things sacred, why would I try? I hold love to be no less sacred...and so, let it fly free.

My Swan (for so he is, even as he is another's love/lover...he's still My Swan)(and I am his Flower, even as I may one day love others...I will always be HIS Flower) didn't want to hurt me, and would have honored my fears. I'm glad he didn't have to.

He and Lady R acted on their nascent feelings, and their love has grown despite distance and...difficulties. She thanked me for sharing. I told her there was no need to thank...how can I share what is not mine to begin with? I don't mean that to sound harsh...to sound as if I don't care. I do care...to lose Someone would be...devastating...but he isn't mine any more than the sun or moon are mine...and while their light may warm, guide, and comfort me, they belong to themselves first, and to whomever they share themselves with second...

That Someone has chosen to weave himself into the tapestry of my life is a blessing beyond counting, beyond measure...and one I am happy to share with anyone who is lucky enough to catch his eye, his heart...
~~~~~
Next - some more of our story, the ground rules, and how things can get complicated despite one's best efforts...

2 comments:

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

so much societal conditioning towards adult relationships and whom one can love and how...
I used to let the Green Monster gnaw away at me. That beast tamed, it is still quite a step from theory to practice-- to love one, and love another one, and neither diminish the other. Difficult to convey, until experienced, that love truly IS a limitless coin...

I love you, Flower. And I love R.
And Jeanie, and Kitten, and...

Well, after that, i might need a viagra...
;D

xo<3ox

Kyddryn said...

Clown Swan...

Love is the magic penny - the more you spend it, the more you find you have...precious coin..