What the...? Another One??

Alternate titles for this post: Oh, My Effing Gee, Not Again! or Help, They Keep Coming! or Do I Have to Have Another One?
~~~~~
It's my birthday today. Woo hoo.

I don't much like my birthday. People die on or around it. No fun. I usually have to plan my own party if there's going to be one. Also no fun. For the last twenty or so years, I've made or bought most of my own cakes. Whee.

On this day more than any other, I suffer from a raging case of Who-Gives-A-Shit-itis.

When I was a little girl, I loved birthdays, including mine. It helped that the boy I was going to marry had the same birthday as me. People sometimes thought we were twins. Sean O'Dell...I wonder what ever happened to him? When we moved away, I pined for him for days...maybe even a whole week - it was true love!

After that point, though, my birthday became something of a non-event for me. It's hard to care about the day when your own family forgets it. Hard to feel like it matters for anything other than marking another year gone when no one else seems to notice or care.

Falling as it does on the day after V-Day, it's a sort of double-suck day. Yay, two days in a row where I hope (despite my best efforts not to) that someone will actually care enough to note my existence, only to find myself (again) feeling empty and disappointed.

Don't get me wrong, Mum has always done her best to make the day special, and so have a few dear friends. I don't want or need parties, sympathy/guilt gifts, things like that...a nice meal with my family is freakin' brilliant as far as I'm concerned...but I'd prefer not to feel like the day would go un-noted unless I remind people about it. To be remembered, to feel valued, would be a fine thing.

Even better would be not to care in the first place.

Meanwhile, Mum's out of town, so today it'll be me, Someone, and the kids. I may or may not hear from friends - they have lives, after all - and I already know I won't hear from the rest of my family (Dad hasn't remembered mine or Big Brother's birthdays in decades), so I'm going to take an afternoon nap and count myself blessed to have the love that I do. I may remember that I have had one or two good ones in recent years and could even manage to cheer the fuck up...but don't hold your breath.

Meanwhile...