Last year at this time, I was at FPG with Mum, preparing for a concert. I posted a couple of poems and left it at that. I didn't mention that I thought my marriage was coming to an end, that I was dissatisfied with my life and how I was living it.
I got a tattoo, this time last year...in honor of my Aunt D, who was at the end of her long struggle with pancreatic cancer. She died shortly thereafter.
I had a lot of time to think at that event, as I'd left the Evil Genius home. At an event meant to celebrate life, passion, and love, I spent a fair amount of time alone, just letting my mind decompress.
I had an opportunity to go back to FPG this year, but didn't. Not that I don't love the place because I do, but because I already had plans.
This year, I'm at Mum's with the Evil Genius and Someone in tow. We're going to light the burn pile and have a bonfire come Hell or high water...and high water looks likely, given the weather forecast!
As Someone and I are of similar spiritual bent, I will be celebrating the Union of my gods with someone I love - not lonely, not wondering when it will be my turn for a little "happy" in my life, not brooding and agonizing over ending (what was for me) a failed and loveless marriage.
This year, I feel loved, cherished, valued. I'm happy in many ways I haven't been in the past. I feel like celebrating, for a change.
This is the holiday wherein the God and Goddess are joined. There are many traditions to go along with it - greenwooding, handfasting, leaping the balefire - all centered on celebrating what amounts to a divine wedding. There are some folks who see this as a day to be...ahem...sexually indiscriminate, and more than one Beltane baby populates our pagan community. Some practice the old rites, going out into grove and field and showing the seedlings how to be...ahem...fertile. I used to hand out condoms at events, because fertility is fine but why take chances??
Maybe next year I'll write a more educational and historical post...for now, I need to get moving - we'll be heading to Mum's soon, and I still haven't packed.
Happy Beltane, y'all!