Quote of the day...er...week...umm...hey, look, a quote!!

Tibi gratias agimus quod nihil fumas.

It says "...freedom of...", not "...freedom from...".

Nolite te bastardes carburundorum!

"It's amazing to me how many people think that voting to have the government give poor people money is compassion. Helping poor and suffering people is compassion. Voting for our government to use guns to give money to help poor and suffering people is immoral self-righteous bullying laziness. People need to be fed, medicated, educated, clothed, and sheltered, and if we're compassionate we'll help them, but you get no moral credit for forcing other people to do what you think is right. There is great joy in helping people, but no joy in doing it at gunpoint." - Penn Jillette

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

And They Say Hockey Players Are Superstitious

I've heard that hockey players are so superstitious, when they win a game they repeat everything they did before that game before every following game...until they lose. Some shave, some don't, some eat the same meal...and there are tales about underwear and socks that just don't bear thinkin' about.

I have a few pre-cruise traditions that I follow, and tonight I put one into practice.

I de-fuzzed my getaway sticks.

What, TMI? Whoopsie...should have posted a warning at the top. My bad.

Anyway.

I don't generally de-fuzz the gams...why bother? I'm not overly hirsute and Someone doesn't seem put off by my lack of razor application...and I'm lazy...so why be pressed?

Except I'm very self-conscious about being in public with legs showing...so I get busy with the triple-bladed instrument of de-Yetification the night before embarking on cruisy goodness. And, since I have not yet had a ship sink beneath me, burst into flames, or be captured by dashing, plus-sized-woman-adoring pirates, I think I'll stick with my superstition tradition.

The last time I underwent this transformation was before my last cruise...several years ago.

Yes, Someone really is a remarkable man, why do you ask?

Caught up in the spirit of the moment, I even removed the Muppets from the pits of despair. I nearly shaved my head, too, but took pity on the housekeepers who have to clean the motel tub. Poor things are already going to be wondering who Naired a Schipperke in there...and that's after I rinsed the tub!

At least now I won't both blind and traumatize all the other touristas on the beach if I opt for shorts (not bloody likely!) or Capri pants (maybe, if I'm feeling bold) rather than full-length jeans or a skirt over the bathing suit. Hey, if I could swim fully clothed, I would...but then the fish look at me funny...

Tomorrow I'll wash my hair so it's all clean and purty for the obligatory embarkation and identification photos. For once I'm glad I don't look like my passport photo - it was taken some forty pounds (the wrong way) ago, and I have fewer chins.

Since it's unlikely we'll have free wi-fi on the ship (and why don't they ge on board {hah!!} with other businesses and offer that amenity? huh?? huh??)(I'm lookin' at you, Holland America), I won't be visiting the Blue Nowhere until after I am back in the good old USofA...y'all try to have fun without me, OK? And just in case you can't survive ten days without my pithy wit, I've pre-written some things to post while I'm gone. Yep, I'm that vain thoughtful.

3 comments:

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

And darn entertaining, to boot, M'Lady!
I mean, de-Yetified! HARAR!!!

Speaking of hockey... our Atlanta Thrashers are having a close one with Tampa Bay. Looks like no shoot-out coming tonight.

The hockey game isn't going into O.T. either...

;D
I'm missing you, girl. Y'all behave, now. Cabana boy gets the smooth getaway sticks, but I get you back...:D

Love you...

Momlady said...

I'm right there with ya about the getaway sticks but the muppets stay. There's a certain mole I don't want to agitate. Besides, these are itty bitty muppets, my being the age I am and everything.

Kyddryn said...

Silly Swan...no cabana boys need apply when I know you're back home...

Mum, those aren't Muppets, they're barely Fraggles.