I Need Shin Guards

I've had a knock-around kind of life. When I was a kid I swam in the sea, climbed rocks, trees, and mountains, sailed, biked everywhere, fell off of and into things. I played soccer and went skiing, rode horses and rambled in the woods.

There were bound to be some scrapes along the way, a few bruises and breaks.

I know they hurt in the moment, but I also know that I had (still have) a high threshold for pain. I always healed fairly quickly, too.

Lately, though...I don't know what the hell is going on with my body...but I don't like it. Check this out:

Sorry...I guess I could have warned you that I was about to show you a furry length of cream-cheese-white, caveman-club-shaped getaway stick. Oh, well, too late now.

The smallest of the three ouchies happened one night last week as I was trying to quiet a fussy Sprout - I knew the box was in the hall, and I knew where it was...so I stepped around it, but it wasn't where I'd left it and so I wound up actually stumbling into it. Hurt like a bitch, and I couldn't get a good cuss in because I didn't want to wake the baby. Dang. Then, Friday, I had a job and was getting ready to go. In order to close the garage, I had to move the Evil Genius's bike. It resented my interruption of its sunning and promptly fell over, causing the other two ouchies. Again, hurt like a bitch, but I needed to get going so I slapped a bandage over it and headed out.

Yesterday it hurt. Last night it hurt. I had to take my jeans off and wear a skirt all evening because the jeans rubbed (through the bandage, even) and irritated it. This morning it hurt. I couldn't even walk without wincing. I even gasped twice when I forgot to be careful and tried to move normally. What the...?? That's not like me at all, honest!

I finally decided to do a bit of home medical care, and turned to that old stand-by, peroxide. Am I the only one who digs watching that stuff fizz? Miracle fluid, that peroxide - it'll cure just about anything on the outside of the skin.

Check it out:

That was this morning, after I defuzzed the area around the ouch (because you know what exacerbates the ow factor? Bandages yanking out hairs, that's what), and then peroxided it a few times.

And doesn't it just figure that these ouchies are at the exact perfect height for everything. in. the world. to hit them?? Cats seeking affection by rubbing against a leg, Sprout kicking and wriggling on the floor, laundry baskets, chupa cabras...

Well, maybe not that last one, but if there WAS a chupa cabra and it WAS inside Casa de Crazy, I bet it would be shin height and I would bump into it.

I hope the peroxide did the trick because I don't want to have to resort to scrubbing the area and dousing it with disinfectant. You'll know if I do...you'll hear me holler...