Gremlins, We Has 'Em

Casa de Crazy is a wealth of electrical oddities.

Half of the electrical outlets in my kitchen don't work.  Neither do half of the ones in the dining room.  They all blew out when I plugged something in in the kitchen a few years ago.  I checked the circuit breaker and none of them were tripped.  Also, none of them are labelled so I have no idea which does what or where and electricity makes me nervous so...umm...I just adjust.

One of the outlets in the children's bathroom doesn't work.  There was an incident with a nightlight, a steel wire spring, and an arc about eight years ago.  Don't ask.

The light in my bedroom blew out and it was a coupe of months before I could get a bulb to change it.  No problem for me, I usually don't use it anyway - I like wandering around in the dark barking my shins and stubbing my toes.

The downstairs hall light has been burned out since early last year.  I have a bulb for it but the person who said they'd change it never did and I have this thing about ladders.  I'll get to it...eventually.

The foyer light eats bulbs like a kid munching Doritos, and it's a really awkward light to change the bulbs on so it's been dark for maybe two years now.  Every time I manage to change the bulbs, they last a few weeks, maybe a few months, then fizzle and pop and fall dark again.

One of my kitchen fixtures acts like it's in some kind of sibling competition with the foyer.  I thought I'd put some of those compact fluorescent bulbs in it one time, maybe they'd do better.  Nope.  Lasted a couple of months at best and we were back to darkness.  It blows through bulbs faster than the foyer!

My dishwasher makes a noise.  Not the usual whoosh-swoosh-skoosh-shush noise, more of an a-hunga-hunga-unga-urrrrnggghhh sort of sound.  When it transitions between stages, I have to turn it off and then on again or it will just sit and grind and groan without doing anything.  I don't even put detergent in it, just wash dishes by hand and use the dishwasher to sanitize and dry 'em.

The light in our dining room, not to be outdone by foyer and kitchen, has decided that it won't always turn on when it's turned on.  Sometimes, for fun, it will turn on when the switch is flipped, then turn off despite the switch being flipped, then when the switch is bumped a little it will turn on again.  Good times.

The clothes dryer has lately decided to  join in the fun.  It makes a sound somewhere between a hum and a buzz, with a little rattle tossed in from time to time, which it will do until I go open the door and then close it again, then restart it.

And those are just the things I know about.

I think I need an electrician.

Or an exorcist.