I have been off camping and vending at a couple of events in the last month, so I haven't been blogging much.
last night we were on our way home from our annual Ohio event and we stopped at a motel with a pool. I had promised the kids that we would go swimming, a treat for them since we don't have a lot of access to pools or swimming holes and they both enjoy the water. Public swimming is often unpleasant for me. I don't like the stares, and I can practically hear the unhappy, uncharitable, even cruel thoughts people have about a fat woman in a bathing suit.
I've lost some weight and the suit I have is a little too big in a couple of places. My ass sags, and the butt portion of the suit flaps emptily along the leg lines. I never had any boobs to speak of...I think they wound up as arm flaps instead, so I'm blessed with a generous second-goodbye rather than any sort of cleavage or bazooms. My thighs...well, let's just not discuss those, shall we? My belly has a large apron of now-empty fat cells and skin that is unsightly and sometimes unpleasant to deal with and will only ever go away if I have an unfortunate industrial accident with a very large pair of scissors or manage to get some plastic surgeon to take pity on me...and while s/he is at it, deal with those fantastic (insert sarcasm here) arm flaps, butt sags, and cow-patty thighs. The boobs are going to remain as-is, since I like being able to run without injury. Quit laughing, I can too run...if chased...by lions...who want to eat my children.
Last evening, as we entered the pool area, I was sorry to see that there were several adults in the hot tub and a couple of kids in the pool, which meant would have to endure showing myself in a bathing suit. Sigh. Then I had a momentary flash of anger and uttered an internal "You know what? Fuck you if you have a problem with my body or my swimming with my kids. Fuck this false beauty standard humans, especially women, are supposed to live up to. Who are you to judge?" I got into the pool and swam with the kids until it was time to go back upstairs.
Just now I saw this video. Synchronicity of a sort. Sing it, girl!
Do you like you? Shine...