When I had Sprout, I got my knittin' knotted so there wouldn't be any more marvelous surprises. One boy, one girl, one million reasons why it's not a good idea to have more.
Since I have made myself all done with babies, I can't threaten my kids with "I made you, I can make another one just like you!" and the like. I can also call them both my babies for all time because he is my youngest boy and she is my youngest girl. Neither one of them really likes the latter but they tolerate it from me for now.
I want more babies. Now, now, y'all know I am nuttier than a Claxton fruitcake! I shan't have any, not even foster or adopted, because it is not wise and it is not financially possible, but I can want them all day long without hurting anyone. And I do. Want.
I liked being pregnant. I like holding a soft, warm, sweet infant. I like rocking them and soothing them and singing to them, washing their wee feet and tickling their tummies. I like the powerful, transformative magic that is pregnancy. I'm staring down the barrel of middle age. Heck, I'm halfway down that barrel! Tick, tock, too bad, my clock ticks along and mocks me.
I am enjoying watching some friends with their babies, being a witness to their firsts and all the wonders and horrors of raising small humans. I can hold another mother's baby, love it a bit, give it back, and that's fine. I hope some day I'll have grand babies I can cuddle and send home full of sugar and peculiar ideas.
Meanwhile, my babies aren't so much babies any more. Sprout's four. Four! The Evil Genius is twelve. Oy! They're a pair of contentious, fractious, constantly whirling dervishes, perpetual motion machines, super charged particles whizzing about with manic laughter and no desire to come to rest.
Yeah, I love 'em. My babies.
Showing posts with label The Evil Genius. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Evil Genius. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Repost: If They Ever Ask
There are some things I'd like to tell my children if they ever ask for advice about relationships. I'm not holding my breath...but I figure I can post them here safely enough. I DID consider titling this "Things I know about relationships" and leaving it blank, but figured it's been done to death. So in no particular order...
~~~~~
How well do you get on in the kitchen? How compatible are you, in a culinary sense? If neither one of you cooks, how well can you do takeout together? Can you share dishes, enjoy some of the same things? Maybe you don't think it's important...but it is.
Do you cook together? Even someone who doesn't know how to cook can cut vegetables, make a salad. If they don't cook, do they at least help clean up after a meal?
Do chores together. Trust me - cooking, cleaning, doing laundry together strengthens your bonds. Unbalanced housework makes for imbalance in a relationship...and can lead to bitterness and resentment.
Learn when to let them be angry or hurt and when to step up and offer solace. Learn when you need to be angry or hurt and when to accept solace.
No matter how angry or hurt you are, offer them an opportunity to explain themselves, to make things right.
No matter how angry or hurt they may be, don't let them labor under misconceptions about your motive or meaning - clarify, make things right, however long it takes.
Don't be afraid or too proud to say "You were right."
Don't gloat or hold it over them if they have the strength of character to say "You were right."
Watch sports together from time to time, even if you aren't a fan - it's a way to show interest in THEIR interests...and you may find yourself enjoying the game after all.
Offer them the opportunity to share in YOUR interests, too.
Listen to music together, even if it's not always in your taste.
Let them know what interests you and give them an opportunity to watch, to listen, to participate.
Ask for, and give, time apart, even if it's only an hour or two. Absence can be as important as presence for a relationship.
Have common interests...and have a few things that you don't do together, too. Common interests give you opportunity to be close, disparate interests give you something to talk about later.
Everybody needs a little space of their own - a room, or even just a corner, to retreat to, to be broody or sad or creative. Respect that space, both of you.
Sometimes a body needs privacy. Respect that, too.
Never compromise (or ask for compromise) on spirituality. You don't have to worship the same gods...but you shouldn't have to stifle yourself spiritually to make someone else happy...and neither should they.
Make sure there's more than just sex. Don't get me wrong - sex is terrific...but it can't be the only reason you're together.
Be yourself, honestly and completely, and allow them the same honor. If you can't trust them with your secrets, your dreams and aspirations, your true nature...then something's not right. The same goes for them. Trust is key.
Let go of the past - the person you're with now is a whole new experience and doesn't deserve to be judged by another's actions.
Keep your word. If you can't keep a promise, don't make it. Nothing hurts like a broken promise, and nothing kills trust and love like constant let-down.
Be honest. Don't lie unless it serves the greater good. Your interests are not always (or even very often) the greater good. Honesty is frightening...but it's also a sign of love, respect, and trust. These things are key.
Don't make threats you cannot or don't intend to keep. Don't say things you don't mean. That's manipulation, and it isn't honorable.
Love, act, and live honorably. If you must lie, cheat, or steal, then it had better be for a very good reason...and your convenience doesn't count.
Sometimes sex is just sex - it isn't love. That's OK. Don't mistake one for the other.
Use condoms or accept the consequences. But use condoms.
Put the seat down (if your partner is female).
Take turns choosing what movie to watch, and try not to roll your eyes at their selections.
Read together. Discuss what you've read.
It's OK to have differing opinions. A lively discourse is a wonderful thing. Just don't lambaste them or tell them they're wrong because they don't agree with you
Turn off the TV, the computer, the distractions, and LISTEN to them.
Be involved in your life - this isn't a spectator sport.
Sometimes you will annoy each other. Try to get over it as quickly as possible, and don't be afraid to tell them you're irritated. Don't be offended if they do the same. It's not a judgement, it's a feeling.
Don't say "I love you" when you really mean "I'm sorry" or "I want..." You devalue it. If you mean it, though, say it as often as you feel it.
"I love you" isn't just words - it's actions, too. Don't just say it...show it.
Don't make them responsible for your well-being, and don't make yourself responsible for theirs. That's not love, that's co-dependence.
Learn how to kiss them. If you think you don't know, ask. If you tink you DO know, ask.
Support their dreams and aspirations, even if you don't fully understand or share them. They should do the same for you.
Dance with them sometimes, if only in the living room, and even if "dancing" is simply swaying in each other's arms.
Loving isn't owning. Don't forget that. People aren't possessions and shouldn't be treated as such.
Love isn't blind...but it accepts the flaws it sees as part of the whole. You're not perfect, either. Yes, your mother just told you you're not perfect. Adjust.
~~~~~
How well do you get on in the kitchen? How compatible are you, in a culinary sense? If neither one of you cooks, how well can you do takeout together? Can you share dishes, enjoy some of the same things? Maybe you don't think it's important...but it is.
Do you cook together? Even someone who doesn't know how to cook can cut vegetables, make a salad. If they don't cook, do they at least help clean up after a meal?
Do chores together. Trust me - cooking, cleaning, doing laundry together strengthens your bonds. Unbalanced housework makes for imbalance in a relationship...and can lead to bitterness and resentment.
Learn when to let them be angry or hurt and when to step up and offer solace. Learn when you need to be angry or hurt and when to accept solace.
No matter how angry or hurt you are, offer them an opportunity to explain themselves, to make things right.
No matter how angry or hurt they may be, don't let them labor under misconceptions about your motive or meaning - clarify, make things right, however long it takes.
Don't be afraid or too proud to say "You were right."
Don't gloat or hold it over them if they have the strength of character to say "You were right."
Watch sports together from time to time, even if you aren't a fan - it's a way to show interest in THEIR interests...and you may find yourself enjoying the game after all.
Offer them the opportunity to share in YOUR interests, too.
Listen to music together, even if it's not always in your taste.
Let them know what interests you and give them an opportunity to watch, to listen, to participate.
Ask for, and give, time apart, even if it's only an hour or two. Absence can be as important as presence for a relationship.
Have common interests...and have a few things that you don't do together, too. Common interests give you opportunity to be close, disparate interests give you something to talk about later.
Everybody needs a little space of their own - a room, or even just a corner, to retreat to, to be broody or sad or creative. Respect that space, both of you.
Sometimes a body needs privacy. Respect that, too.
Never compromise (or ask for compromise) on spirituality. You don't have to worship the same gods...but you shouldn't have to stifle yourself spiritually to make someone else happy...and neither should they.
Make sure there's more than just sex. Don't get me wrong - sex is terrific...but it can't be the only reason you're together.
Be yourself, honestly and completely, and allow them the same honor. If you can't trust them with your secrets, your dreams and aspirations, your true nature...then something's not right. The same goes for them. Trust is key.
Let go of the past - the person you're with now is a whole new experience and doesn't deserve to be judged by another's actions.
Keep your word. If you can't keep a promise, don't make it. Nothing hurts like a broken promise, and nothing kills trust and love like constant let-down.
Be honest. Don't lie unless it serves the greater good. Your interests are not always (or even very often) the greater good. Honesty is frightening...but it's also a sign of love, respect, and trust. These things are key.
Don't make threats you cannot or don't intend to keep. Don't say things you don't mean. That's manipulation, and it isn't honorable.
Love, act, and live honorably. If you must lie, cheat, or steal, then it had better be for a very good reason...and your convenience doesn't count.
Sometimes sex is just sex - it isn't love. That's OK. Don't mistake one for the other.
Use condoms or accept the consequences. But use condoms.
Put the seat down (if your partner is female).
Take turns choosing what movie to watch, and try not to roll your eyes at their selections.
Read together. Discuss what you've read.
It's OK to have differing opinions. A lively discourse is a wonderful thing. Just don't lambaste them or tell them they're wrong because they don't agree with you
Turn off the TV, the computer, the distractions, and LISTEN to them.
Be involved in your life - this isn't a spectator sport.
Sometimes you will annoy each other. Try to get over it as quickly as possible, and don't be afraid to tell them you're irritated. Don't be offended if they do the same. It's not a judgement, it's a feeling.
Don't say "I love you" when you really mean "I'm sorry" or "I want..." You devalue it. If you mean it, though, say it as often as you feel it.
"I love you" isn't just words - it's actions, too. Don't just say it...show it.
Don't make them responsible for your well-being, and don't make yourself responsible for theirs. That's not love, that's co-dependence.
Learn how to kiss them. If you think you don't know, ask. If you tink you DO know, ask.
Support their dreams and aspirations, even if you don't fully understand or share them. They should do the same for you.
Dance with them sometimes, if only in the living room, and even if "dancing" is simply swaying in each other's arms.
Loving isn't owning. Don't forget that. People aren't possessions and shouldn't be treated as such.
Love isn't blind...but it accepts the flaws it sees as part of the whole. You're not perfect, either. Yes, your mother just told you you're not perfect. Adjust.
Saturday, January 3, 2015
Happy Birthday, Evil Genius
I posted this last year, and I mean it just as much this year. I love you, little guy!
~~~~~
If I could give one gift to you
What would that gift be?
Shall I make the world anew
Create it sickness free?
Shall I banish hunger,
Banish hatred, banish pain?
Shall I mend the broken,
Let them dance in the rain?
What if I could take cancer,
AIDS, Alzheimer's too
And send them gone forever
As my gift to you?
Could I soften heartache
Anger and fear
Give vision to the blind
Help the deaf ones hear?
Help the lost to find their way
Along the winding path
Show the weak and weary mind
The beauty that life hath?
I cannot snap my fingers
And make everything right
But I can tuck you safely in
Each and every night
And while the world is faulty
And filled with many woes
I can help you learn to avoid
The very worst of those
And I can help you to be strong
When you most want to be weak
And I can teach you to raise your voice
When most you fear to speak
I can help you find your light
To shine for all to see
And I can help you learn to know
Why the spirit must be free
In time you'll grow beyond my words
And stand up all alone
In time I'll be a whisper
Where the winds of fate have blown
But if you see injustice, hunger, or need
And work to make it right somehow
Then we both succeed
Be strong, my child, and wise
Compassionate and smart
And don't forget to listen to
Both your good head and good heart
Wherever else I be,
Whatever else I do
I will always be that soft whisper
Saying "I love you"
~~~~~
If I could give one gift to you
What would that gift be?
Shall I make the world anew
Create it sickness free?
Shall I banish hunger,
Banish hatred, banish pain?
Shall I mend the broken,
Let them dance in the rain?
What if I could take cancer,
AIDS, Alzheimer's too
And send them gone forever
As my gift to you?
Could I soften heartache
Anger and fear
Give vision to the blind
Help the deaf ones hear?
Help the lost to find their way
Along the winding path
Show the weak and weary mind
The beauty that life hath?
I cannot snap my fingers
And make everything right
But I can tuck you safely in
Each and every night
And while the world is faulty
And filled with many woes
I can help you learn to avoid
The very worst of those
And I can help you to be strong
When you most want to be weak
And I can teach you to raise your voice
When most you fear to speak
I can help you find your light
To shine for all to see
And I can help you learn to know
Why the spirit must be free
In time you'll grow beyond my words
And stand up all alone
In time I'll be a whisper
Where the winds of fate have blown
But if you see injustice, hunger, or need
And work to make it right somehow
Then we both succeed
Be strong, my child, and wise
Compassionate and smart
And don't forget to listen to
Both your good head and good heart
Wherever else I be,
Whatever else I do
I will always be that soft whisper
Saying "I love you"
Friday, September 16, 2011
Yay, Big Brudder!
Hi there. Sprout, here. Big Brudder had a earache an' waked Mama up a bunch last night, so she's tired. I blog post!
I got two big brudders. I gots Big Big Brudder, who I never met yet and neither has Mama, he lives in Texas and is all growed up; an' I gots Little Big Brudder who I just call "Big Brudder" 'cause he is, an' he live with us here.
I love my big brudder.
He makes funny faces at me, an' pushes me inna grocery cart and makes me laugh. Inna car onna long trip, he tried to help me be a good girl an' not cry an' fuss, which is hard 'cause I don' like bein' innat travelin' chair for a long time 'cause I can't wriggle, an' I love to wriggle.
At home, Big Brudder will climb inna cage with me an' play. I like to watch him, and chase him around, 'specially when he is zooming cars, even though he don't never let me catch them. I like when he talks funny to me, too, an' sometimes we watch Phineas and Ferb togedder, an' that's good, too.
Sometimes Mama lets Big Brudder feed me. He likes to gimme a bottle, but he's not as good at it. Mama says it's 'cause he hasn't had practice.
Yesterday we went to the grocery store, an' Big Brudder pushed the cart and let me crunkle his face with my toes, even though sometimes he said my toenails were sharp and a couple times I kicked him by accident. When we was waitin' to check out, he danced and made silly faces and noises so I wouldn't cry, which was nice because I was tired of bein' inna travelin' seat and it was nap time but who can nap inna grocery store with all the lights an' noise an' big people sayin' I's cute an' stuff.
Last night, I didn' go to sleep very well, so Big Brudder hadda be quiet, which is hard for him 'cause usually Mama doesn't quiet the house for me to sleep. But Last night I was grumpy, an' woked up an' cried.
An' then Big Brudder woked Mama up a couple times, too, 'cause his ear hurted, an' Mama hadda get a warm cloth an' hold it o his ear an' I heard her say maybe we would have to go to the ER, which I don't what that is, or the doctor if we could wait until morning, an' she gived Big Brudder somethin' to make the ouchie go away an' he finally went to sleep, an' then it was time for me to wake up, so Mama's going to have a tired day but I hope Big Brudder is okay an' will come play with me some more, 'cause I love my Big Brudder, an' when he plays with me, I say "Yay, Big Brudder!" an' throw my arms up inna air an' smile.
Mama's comin' outta the kitchen, now - she made me a nice warm bottle 'cause it's a little cool in here an' I'm hungry an' maybe I'll be nice an' eat it all up an' then sleep on Mama 'til Big Brudder wakes up and comes out to play.
Bye!
I got two big brudders. I gots Big Big Brudder, who I never met yet and neither has Mama, he lives in Texas and is all growed up; an' I gots Little Big Brudder who I just call "Big Brudder" 'cause he is, an' he live with us here.
I love my big brudder.
He makes funny faces at me, an' pushes me inna grocery cart and makes me laugh. Inna car onna long trip, he tried to help me be a good girl an' not cry an' fuss, which is hard 'cause I don' like bein' innat travelin' chair for a long time 'cause I can't wriggle, an' I love to wriggle.
At home, Big Brudder will climb inna cage with me an' play. I like to watch him, and chase him around, 'specially when he is zooming cars, even though he don't never let me catch them. I like when he talks funny to me, too, an' sometimes we watch Phineas and Ferb togedder, an' that's good, too.
Sometimes Mama lets Big Brudder feed me. He likes to gimme a bottle, but he's not as good at it. Mama says it's 'cause he hasn't had practice.
Yesterday we went to the grocery store, an' Big Brudder pushed the cart and let me crunkle his face with my toes, even though sometimes he said my toenails were sharp and a couple times I kicked him by accident. When we was waitin' to check out, he danced and made silly faces and noises so I wouldn't cry, which was nice because I was tired of bein' inna travelin' seat and it was nap time but who can nap inna grocery store with all the lights an' noise an' big people sayin' I's cute an' stuff.
Last night, I didn' go to sleep very well, so Big Brudder hadda be quiet, which is hard for him 'cause usually Mama doesn't quiet the house for me to sleep. But Last night I was grumpy, an' woked up an' cried.
An' then Big Brudder woked Mama up a couple times, too, 'cause his ear hurted, an' Mama hadda get a warm cloth an' hold it o his ear an' I heard her say maybe we would have to go to the ER, which I don't what that is, or the doctor if we could wait until morning, an' she gived Big Brudder somethin' to make the ouchie go away an' he finally went to sleep, an' then it was time for me to wake up, so Mama's going to have a tired day but I hope Big Brudder is okay an' will come play with me some more, 'cause I love my Big Brudder, an' when he plays with me, I say "Yay, Big Brudder!" an' throw my arms up inna air an' smile.
Mama's comin' outta the kitchen, now - she made me a nice warm bottle 'cause it's a little cool in here an' I'm hungry an' maybe I'll be nice an' eat it all up an' then sleep on Mama 'til Big Brudder wakes up and comes out to play.
Bye!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
If They Ever Ask
There are some things I'd like to tell my children if they ever ask for advice about relationships. I'm not holding my breath...but I figure I can post them here safely enough. I DID consider titling this "Things I know about relationships" and leaving it blank, but figured it's been done to death. So in no particular order...
~~~~~
How well do you get on in the kitchen? How compatible are you, in a culinary sense? If neither one of you cooks, how well can you do takeout together? Can you share dishes, enjoy some of the same things? Maybe you don't think it's important...but it is.
Do you cook together? Even someone who doesn't know how to cook can cut vegetables, make a salad. If they don't cook, do they at least help clean up after a meal?
Do chores together. Trust me - cooking, cleaning, doing laundry together strengthens your bonds. Unbalanced housework makes for imbalance in a relationship...and can lead to bitterness and resentment.
Learn when to let them be angry or hurt and when to step up and offer solace. Learn when you need to be angry or hurt and when to accept solace.
No matter how angry or hurt you are, offer them an opportunity to explain themselves, to make things right.
No matter how angry or hurt they may be, don't let them labor under misconceptions about your motive or meaning - clarify, make things right, however long it takes.
Don't be afraid or too proud to say "You were right."
Don't gloat or hold it over them if they have the strength of character to say "You were right."
Watch sports together from time to time, even if you aren't a fan - it's a way to show interest in THEIR interests...and you may find yourself enjoying the game after all.
Offer them the opportunity to share in YOUR interests, too.
Listen to music together, even if it's not always in your taste.
Let them know what interests you and give them an opportunity to watch, to listen, to participate.
Ask for, and give, time apart, even if it's only an hour or two. Absence can be as important as presence for a relationship.
Have common interests...and have a few things that you don't do together, too. Common interests give you opportunity to be close, disparate interests give you something to talk about later.
Everybody needs a little space of their own - a room, or even just a corner, to retreat to, to be broody or sad or creative. Respect that space, both of you.
Sometimes a body needs privacy. Respect that, too.
Never compromise (or ask for compromise) on spirituality. You don't have to worship the same gods...but you shouldn't have to stifle yourself spiritually to make someone else happy...and neither should they.
Make sure there's more than just sex. Don't get me wrong - sex is terrific...but it can't be the only reason you're together.
Be yourself, honestly and completely, and allow them the same honor. If you can't trust them with your secrets, your dreams and aspirations, your true nature...then something's not right. The same goes for them. Trust is key.
Let go of the past - the person you're with now is a whole new experience and doesn't deserve to be judged by another's actions.
Keep your word. If you can't keep a promise, don't make it. Nothing hurts like a broken promise, and nothing kills trust and love like constant let-down.
Be honest. Don't lie unless it serves the greater good. Your interests are not always (or even very often) the greater good. Honesty is frightening...but it's also a sign of love, respect, and trust. These things are key.
Don't make threats you cannot or don't intend to keep. Don't say things you don't mean. That's manipulation, and it isn't honorable.
Love, act, and live honorably. If you must lie, cheat, or steal, then it had better be for a very good reason...and your convenience doesn't count.
Sometimes sex is just sex - it isn't love. That's OK. Don't mistake one for the other.
Use condoms or accept the consequences. But use condoms.
Put the seat down (if your partner is female).
Take turns choosing what movie to watch, and try not to roll your eyes at their selections.
Read together. Discuss what you've read.
It's OK to have differing opinions. A lively discourse is a wonderful thing. Just don't lambaste them or tell them they're wrong because they don't agree with you
Turn off the TV, the computer, the distractions, and LISTEN to them.
Be involved in your life - this isn't a spectator sport.
Sometimes you will annoy each other. Try to get over it as quickly as possible, and don't be afraid to tell them you're irritated. Don't be offended if they do the same. It's not a judgement, it's a feeling.
Don't say "I love you" when you really mean "I'm sorry" or "I want..." You devalue it. If you mean it, though, say it as often as you feel it.
"I love you" isn't just words - it's actions, too. Don't just say it...show it.
Don't make them responsible for your well-being, and don't make yourself responsible for theirs. That's not love, that's co-dependence.
Learn how to kiss them. If you think you don't know, ask. If you tink you DO know, ask.
Support their dreams and aspirations, even if you don't fully understand or share them. They should do the same for you.
Dance with them sometimes, if only in the living room, and even if "dancing" is simply swaying in each other's arms.
Loving isn't owning. Don't forget that. People aren't possessions and shouldn't be treated as such.
Love isn't blind...but it accepts the flaws it sees as part of the whole. You're not perfect, either. Yes, your mother just told you you're not perfect. Adjust.
~~~~~
How well do you get on in the kitchen? How compatible are you, in a culinary sense? If neither one of you cooks, how well can you do takeout together? Can you share dishes, enjoy some of the same things? Maybe you don't think it's important...but it is.
Do you cook together? Even someone who doesn't know how to cook can cut vegetables, make a salad. If they don't cook, do they at least help clean up after a meal?
Do chores together. Trust me - cooking, cleaning, doing laundry together strengthens your bonds. Unbalanced housework makes for imbalance in a relationship...and can lead to bitterness and resentment.
Learn when to let them be angry or hurt and when to step up and offer solace. Learn when you need to be angry or hurt and when to accept solace.
No matter how angry or hurt you are, offer them an opportunity to explain themselves, to make things right.
No matter how angry or hurt they may be, don't let them labor under misconceptions about your motive or meaning - clarify, make things right, however long it takes.
Don't be afraid or too proud to say "You were right."
Don't gloat or hold it over them if they have the strength of character to say "You were right."
Watch sports together from time to time, even if you aren't a fan - it's a way to show interest in THEIR interests...and you may find yourself enjoying the game after all.
Offer them the opportunity to share in YOUR interests, too.
Listen to music together, even if it's not always in your taste.
Let them know what interests you and give them an opportunity to watch, to listen, to participate.
Ask for, and give, time apart, even if it's only an hour or two. Absence can be as important as presence for a relationship.
Have common interests...and have a few things that you don't do together, too. Common interests give you opportunity to be close, disparate interests give you something to talk about later.
Everybody needs a little space of their own - a room, or even just a corner, to retreat to, to be broody or sad or creative. Respect that space, both of you.
Sometimes a body needs privacy. Respect that, too.
Never compromise (or ask for compromise) on spirituality. You don't have to worship the same gods...but you shouldn't have to stifle yourself spiritually to make someone else happy...and neither should they.
Make sure there's more than just sex. Don't get me wrong - sex is terrific...but it can't be the only reason you're together.
Be yourself, honestly and completely, and allow them the same honor. If you can't trust them with your secrets, your dreams and aspirations, your true nature...then something's not right. The same goes for them. Trust is key.
Let go of the past - the person you're with now is a whole new experience and doesn't deserve to be judged by another's actions.
Keep your word. If you can't keep a promise, don't make it. Nothing hurts like a broken promise, and nothing kills trust and love like constant let-down.
Be honest. Don't lie unless it serves the greater good. Your interests are not always (or even very often) the greater good. Honesty is frightening...but it's also a sign of love, respect, and trust. These things are key.
Don't make threats you cannot or don't intend to keep. Don't say things you don't mean. That's manipulation, and it isn't honorable.
Love, act, and live honorably. If you must lie, cheat, or steal, then it had better be for a very good reason...and your convenience doesn't count.
Sometimes sex is just sex - it isn't love. That's OK. Don't mistake one for the other.
Use condoms or accept the consequences. But use condoms.
Put the seat down (if your partner is female).
Take turns choosing what movie to watch, and try not to roll your eyes at their selections.
Read together. Discuss what you've read.
It's OK to have differing opinions. A lively discourse is a wonderful thing. Just don't lambaste them or tell them they're wrong because they don't agree with you
Turn off the TV, the computer, the distractions, and LISTEN to them.
Be involved in your life - this isn't a spectator sport.
Sometimes you will annoy each other. Try to get over it as quickly as possible, and don't be afraid to tell them you're irritated. Don't be offended if they do the same. It's not a judgement, it's a feeling.
Don't say "I love you" when you really mean "I'm sorry" or "I want..." You devalue it. If you mean it, though, say it as often as you feel it.
"I love you" isn't just words - it's actions, too. Don't just say it...show it.
Don't make them responsible for your well-being, and don't make yourself responsible for theirs. That's not love, that's co-dependence.
Learn how to kiss them. If you think you don't know, ask. If you tink you DO know, ask.
Support their dreams and aspirations, even if you don't fully understand or share them. They should do the same for you.
Dance with them sometimes, if only in the living room, and even if "dancing" is simply swaying in each other's arms.
Loving isn't owning. Don't forget that. People aren't possessions and shouldn't be treated as such.
Love isn't blind...but it accepts the flaws it sees as part of the whole. You're not perfect, either. Yes, your mother just told you you're not perfect. Adjust.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Bah! Or Some Junk
Woke to rain and ice, how nice.
I drove into the city for my weekly appointment with the Specialist, and that was fun...but at least people were being slightly more cautious than usual. Half of the parking lot was blocked off because of ice, and there were icicles hanging from car mirrors and roof racks. I was very careful walking into the building - didn't want the ambulance sitting in the port cochere to have a second passenger!
Sprout is doing fine. Little minx, she's turned toward my spine so we can't see her face on the ultrasound, but she was happy to show me her butt.
Came home to a crying Evil Genius. I usually let him know the night before I have an appointment so he'll know I won't be here when he wakes up, and he's fine with that. I forgot to last night. He saw me driving away and though maybe I was leaving him here and not coming back.
Ouch.
We had a cuddle and read a bit, and I once again reassured him that I would never, ever, just go off and leave him. He's still feeling clingy, though.
Sigh.
I would like to go hide under the covers for a bit...but there's no vacation from being Mommy, no Spring break or Summer break, or even coffee break. 24/7 for the rest of my life, and most of the time I'm more than fine with that.
I need to finish addressing holiday cards. Every year, the list shortens. People die, or move, or grow so distant as to make it seem moot. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. Does anyone even give a damn? Would they notice if the little cards with the photos of the Evil Genius tucked inside and the hand-written greetings stopped coming?
There are one or two folks whom I believe are happy to receive what may be the one missive I fire off during the year...but the rest? I wonder why bother. Who cares?
I'm having a difficult time mustering good cheer, this year. Depression sucks. Anger sucks. Being broke and broken sucks. It might be more bearable if there was an end in sight, but given I've hauled this load since I was a child, and given that it has never, ever, lightened...I ain't holding my breath.
Nothing's right, right now.
It'll pass. It always does. Sooner rather than later, I hope...because ready or not, whatever my frame of mind may be at the time, come late January a certain Sprout is going to spring into the world...and I'd like her to see me smiling.
I drove into the city for my weekly appointment with the Specialist, and that was fun...but at least people were being slightly more cautious than usual. Half of the parking lot was blocked off because of ice, and there were icicles hanging from car mirrors and roof racks. I was very careful walking into the building - didn't want the ambulance sitting in the port cochere to have a second passenger!
Sprout is doing fine. Little minx, she's turned toward my spine so we can't see her face on the ultrasound, but she was happy to show me her butt.
Came home to a crying Evil Genius. I usually let him know the night before I have an appointment so he'll know I won't be here when he wakes up, and he's fine with that. I forgot to last night. He saw me driving away and though maybe I was leaving him here and not coming back.
Ouch.
We had a cuddle and read a bit, and I once again reassured him that I would never, ever, just go off and leave him. He's still feeling clingy, though.
Sigh.
I would like to go hide under the covers for a bit...but there's no vacation from being Mommy, no Spring break or Summer break, or even coffee break. 24/7 for the rest of my life, and most of the time I'm more than fine with that.
I need to finish addressing holiday cards. Every year, the list shortens. People die, or move, or grow so distant as to make it seem moot. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. Does anyone even give a damn? Would they notice if the little cards with the photos of the Evil Genius tucked inside and the hand-written greetings stopped coming?
There are one or two folks whom I believe are happy to receive what may be the one missive I fire off during the year...but the rest? I wonder why bother. Who cares?
I'm having a difficult time mustering good cheer, this year. Depression sucks. Anger sucks. Being broke and broken sucks. It might be more bearable if there was an end in sight, but given I've hauled this load since I was a child, and given that it has never, ever, lightened...I ain't holding my breath.
Nothing's right, right now.
It'll pass. It always does. Sooner rather than later, I hope...because ready or not, whatever my frame of mind may be at the time, come late January a certain Sprout is going to spring into the world...and I'd like her to see me smiling.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
What's In a Name?
I've often said that one should be very careful when it comes to the naming of things. They tend to live up to the name. Cats, dogs, fish, cars, children - they have the innate ability to know what their names mean, and they strive to fulfill them.
I once had a cat named Marco Polo. One day he wandered away and went exploring, never to return. In my defense, I named him after he displayed his tendency to roam.
The human residents of Casa de Crazy had occasion to be at my friend K's house on Friday. She needed a bit of help with some leaf control (I actually asked her if her neighbors were dumping their leaves in her yard when she wasn't looking - there were enough leaves to cover a Volkswagen Bus!)(Not kidding), and Someone was willing to do the work. The Evil Genius and I were along for the ride and to pay a visit - K and I haven't had much chance to sit and gossip, lately.
K has a dog and two cats. One of the cats is rather...shy. The other, the newer of the two, is just about the sweetest kitty ever, anxious for a lap and some lovin'. The dog is...erm...sorry, K...a spaz of the highest order. He's a sweet, loving spaz, but a spaz. When guests come over, he goes into paroxysms of delight, wagging his entire self until the house shakes, then launching into an all-out display of ohmuhgoodnessyou'reclearlyheretoseemeandplayplayplayplay, running around the perimeter of the living room until he's escorted rather firmly outside by one of his resident humans.
His name is Trip.
In K's defense, the dog was named for one of his less endearing traits.
So the Evil Genius was at the top of a small flight of stairs, petting the new kitty when Trip decided it was his turn for some attention. He built up a head of steam and caromed into the back of the kid, head-butting the boy's back. Little Dude executed a perfect double somersault down the steps, landing in a heap at the bottom.
He looked rather confused for a split second, then he began to cry.
I can't blame him.
Luckily, he wasn't too damaged by the fall. He was delighted by the prospect of being allowed to tell people that Trip knocked him "ass over teakettle" - I told him he could even say "ass" instead of "butt" because he'd earned it.
I thought maybe he'd have a nice shiner out of the deal, too, but it looks like all we've got is a rather nasty looking abrasion:
He was happy to let me take a photo and post it on the Internet...proof that little boys are weird (lately, he has shied away from cameras and cried out "Don't post that on the Internet!!" Silly boy...as if...).
One of these days I will test my naming theory and name a pet Lottery Win. I'll let you know how that works out...
I once had a cat named Marco Polo. One day he wandered away and went exploring, never to return. In my defense, I named him after he displayed his tendency to roam.
The human residents of Casa de Crazy had occasion to be at my friend K's house on Friday. She needed a bit of help with some leaf control (I actually asked her if her neighbors were dumping their leaves in her yard when she wasn't looking - there were enough leaves to cover a Volkswagen Bus!)(Not kidding), and Someone was willing to do the work. The Evil Genius and I were along for the ride and to pay a visit - K and I haven't had much chance to sit and gossip, lately.
K has a dog and two cats. One of the cats is rather...shy. The other, the newer of the two, is just about the sweetest kitty ever, anxious for a lap and some lovin'. The dog is...erm...sorry, K...a spaz of the highest order. He's a sweet, loving spaz, but a spaz. When guests come over, he goes into paroxysms of delight, wagging his entire self until the house shakes, then launching into an all-out display of ohmuhgoodnessyou'reclearlyheretoseemeandplayplayplayplay, running around the perimeter of the living room until he's escorted rather firmly outside by one of his resident humans.
His name is Trip.
In K's defense, the dog was named for one of his less endearing traits.
So the Evil Genius was at the top of a small flight of stairs, petting the new kitty when Trip decided it was his turn for some attention. He built up a head of steam and caromed into the back of the kid, head-butting the boy's back. Little Dude executed a perfect double somersault down the steps, landing in a heap at the bottom.
He looked rather confused for a split second, then he began to cry.
I can't blame him.
Luckily, he wasn't too damaged by the fall. He was delighted by the prospect of being allowed to tell people that Trip knocked him "ass over teakettle" - I told him he could even say "ass" instead of "butt" because he'd earned it.
I thought maybe he'd have a nice shiner out of the deal, too, but it looks like all we've got is a rather nasty looking abrasion:
He was happy to let me take a photo and post it on the Internet...proof that little boys are weird (lately, he has shied away from cameras and cried out "Don't post that on the Internet!!" Silly boy...as if...).
One of these days I will test my naming theory and name a pet Lottery Win. I'll let you know how that works out...
Saturday, December 4, 2010
And Then He...And Then He...And Then He...
When I was about six-ish (give or take), I stammered. It would take a try or two to get a sentence out. I can remember Mum telling me to stop, think about what I wanted to say, and then say it.
It wasn't that I couldn't speak properly or clearly...the trouble was that my mind was going so fast, my mouth often couldn't keep up.
I sang a lot.
I remember reading long ago that people who stutter when speaking don't do so when singing. Hmm.
Every now and then (maybe once every two years or so), I still have a slight stutter. Folks don't usually notice, but I'm aware. Sometimes humming helps make it go away, if it's particularly bad.
The Evil Genius has an odd habit of speech - not quite a stutter or stammer, but...almost. Sometimes he'll repeat the first half of a sentence three or four times before finally getting it out...and often, he'll change course halfway through and start a whole new sentence. It's because his mind is whipping along so fast, he can't catch the thoughts in his teeth and articulate them.
I tell him to slow down, to wait, to let the thought finish forming, think about what he wants to say, and then say it.
I think I was a better listener at his age. But he does try.
He's not aware of how exasperating it can be, waiting for him to "spit it out", and he hates when people try to finish a sentence for him, so we're stuck trying to be patient and as often as not failing.
From time to time, without really giving it much thought, he'll sing what he wants to say. I have not taught him this.
I know it'll pass - Big Brother did the same thing when he was a kid, and I've known countless kids in my "career" in childcare who did it...brains zipping along while they struggle to keep up.
I think part of the solution comes when they finally realize that they can be silent...that not every thought is worthy of vocalization, that they can condense it all down into concise communication...which means we lose some of their storytelling, some of the verve and joy in what they say, but we gain clarity, precision, and coherence.
I wonder if it's a fair trade...
It wasn't that I couldn't speak properly or clearly...the trouble was that my mind was going so fast, my mouth often couldn't keep up.
I sang a lot.
I remember reading long ago that people who stutter when speaking don't do so when singing. Hmm.
Every now and then (maybe once every two years or so), I still have a slight stutter. Folks don't usually notice, but I'm aware. Sometimes humming helps make it go away, if it's particularly bad.
The Evil Genius has an odd habit of speech - not quite a stutter or stammer, but...almost. Sometimes he'll repeat the first half of a sentence three or four times before finally getting it out...and often, he'll change course halfway through and start a whole new sentence. It's because his mind is whipping along so fast, he can't catch the thoughts in his teeth and articulate them.
I tell him to slow down, to wait, to let the thought finish forming, think about what he wants to say, and then say it.
I think I was a better listener at his age. But he does try.
He's not aware of how exasperating it can be, waiting for him to "spit it out", and he hates when people try to finish a sentence for him, so we're stuck trying to be patient and as often as not failing.
From time to time, without really giving it much thought, he'll sing what he wants to say. I have not taught him this.
I know it'll pass - Big Brother did the same thing when he was a kid, and I've known countless kids in my "career" in childcare who did it...brains zipping along while they struggle to keep up.
I think part of the solution comes when they finally realize that they can be silent...that not every thought is worthy of vocalization, that they can condense it all down into concise communication...which means we lose some of their storytelling, some of the verve and joy in what they say, but we gain clarity, precision, and coherence.
I wonder if it's a fair trade...
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Sidewalk Chalk, Mother's Boon
I made a quick run up to the gallery today. The Evil Genius came with me so Someone could have a little peace and quiet at home for a change...poor man, the kid adores him and constantly follows him while chattering like a monkey. No kidding, it doesn't stop until the kid's asleep!
When we got there, the kid was climbing the walls...
...so I pointed out the sidewalk chalk they keep on hand, and all the lovely, pristine sidewalk around the outside of the building. Distraction achieved. For a few minutes.
Then, I had to come and see what he'd drawn.
First there was the sun and "...a whole mess of flowers, mommy..."
...and some fish on the moon.
Then there was his family. Daddy (with curly hair)...
...himself...
...me (complete with a flower in my long hair and an "I lov U floating above me. We'll be working on spelling this week)...
...and Gramlin, with her special boot (she's got tendon problems with her ankle, and the boot is to help fix them without surgery. I called her Gimpy Sue when I saw it. Nice, me.).
We're all connected by a line to show we're family.
Finally, there's a sunset...
...and four of us on the moon.
Hmm...does he mean to say we're loony??
When we got there, the kid was climbing the walls...
...so I pointed out the sidewalk chalk they keep on hand, and all the lovely, pristine sidewalk around the outside of the building. Distraction achieved. For a few minutes.
Then, I had to come and see what he'd drawn.
First there was the sun and "...a whole mess of flowers, mommy..."
...and some fish on the moon.
Then there was his family. Daddy (with curly hair)...
...himself...
...me (complete with a flower in my long hair and an "I lov U floating above me. We'll be working on spelling this week)...
...and Gramlin, with her special boot (she's got tendon problems with her ankle, and the boot is to help fix them without surgery. I called her Gimpy Sue when I saw it. Nice, me.).
We're all connected by a line to show we're family.
Finally, there's a sunset...
...and four of us on the moon.
Hmm...does he mean to say we're loony??
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Family
We've had some quiet days here at Casa de Crazy. The holidays are over, the Evil Genius's birthday is past, and we're settling into Winter and something of a pattern for our daily lives. Last week, a couple of us took turns feeling rather unwell and are really only just now on our feet again.
This evening, the Evil Genius wanted to play with his new Monopoly game (thank you Aunt J, my ex-sister-in-law, aka my sister-out-law), and wondered if I would play with him. I've put him off with other games and toys lately, busy with my own thing, and he was so hopeful...I decided that blogging could wait, housework could wait...my kid needed a round of Monopoly.
Someone had an errand to run, but he offered to join us when he got back.
The three of us sat at the dining room table and played for nearly three hours. The Evil Genius had plenty of opportunity to work with his math skills and to learn about negotiating and calculating the potential benefits of a deal versus the pitfalls. He had ample opportunity to remember (and be reminded) not to interrupt other people when they're speaking, to keep track of his turn, and to read cards and instructions.
He even saw what paying an honest compliment can mean to a body - I drew the Community Chest card that claims the reader has taken second place in a beauty contest and won some money. He offered "Well that makes sense because you're beautiful..." Whoof...seven years old and already knows how to lay it on thick!
He had his dinner while we played - fish sticks and baby carrots and the most basic food group of all, catsup (studies show that little boys are fifteen percent catsup and get cranky when their supply is low) - and played past his bedtime a bit. Someone suggested we finally end after two more turns, and we agreed. We ended up about even, no clear winner - each of us had monopolies on the board, each of us had buildings and cash. We'd helped each other out, laughed, chatted about nothing and everything. The TV wasn't on. No news or talk show on the radio. No one on the computer paying only half attention to what was going on. No one on the phone. We focused on each other, on listening and seeing and being.
When we were done, and I'd gotten the Evil Genius off to his room, I realized that tonight...tonight, we felt like a family. Sweet.
Family isn't always who you're born to. Sometimes you have to build it with bits and pieces, a ragtag collection of people and critters and love and elbow grease.
It's not always blood...sometimes it's choice.
This evening, the Evil Genius wanted to play with his new Monopoly game (thank you Aunt J, my ex-sister-in-law, aka my sister-out-law), and wondered if I would play with him. I've put him off with other games and toys lately, busy with my own thing, and he was so hopeful...I decided that blogging could wait, housework could wait...my kid needed a round of Monopoly.
Someone had an errand to run, but he offered to join us when he got back.
The three of us sat at the dining room table and played for nearly three hours. The Evil Genius had plenty of opportunity to work with his math skills and to learn about negotiating and calculating the potential benefits of a deal versus the pitfalls. He had ample opportunity to remember (and be reminded) not to interrupt other people when they're speaking, to keep track of his turn, and to read cards and instructions.
He even saw what paying an honest compliment can mean to a body - I drew the Community Chest card that claims the reader has taken second place in a beauty contest and won some money. He offered "Well that makes sense because you're beautiful..." Whoof...seven years old and already knows how to lay it on thick!
He had his dinner while we played - fish sticks and baby carrots and the most basic food group of all, catsup (studies show that little boys are fifteen percent catsup and get cranky when their supply is low) - and played past his bedtime a bit. Someone suggested we finally end after two more turns, and we agreed. We ended up about even, no clear winner - each of us had monopolies on the board, each of us had buildings and cash. We'd helped each other out, laughed, chatted about nothing and everything. The TV wasn't on. No news or talk show on the radio. No one on the computer paying only half attention to what was going on. No one on the phone. We focused on each other, on listening and seeing and being.
When we were done, and I'd gotten the Evil Genius off to his room, I realized that tonight...tonight, we felt like a family. Sweet.
Family isn't always who you're born to. Sometimes you have to build it with bits and pieces, a ragtag collection of people and critters and love and elbow grease.
It's not always blood...sometimes it's choice.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Thanks, Kid (and some self pity for the heck of it)
Dragon's Rest (Mum's place), Yule (December 21, 2009).
Someone is kneeling down, tying his shoelace. The Evil Genius is wandering up the drive from a wooded patch, shoes crunching the gravel. As he approaches Someone, he calls out "Dude!" Someone looks up. Evil Genius repeats "Dude!! DUDE!!" Someone responds "What?", head cocked to one side. Evil Genius says "I love you."
Someone looks at me and says "Oh, wow, he got me..."
Awesome.
~~~~~
I have this tile hanging above the kitchen sink:
It was a gift from Mum a long while ago. This morning, the Evil Genius wandered into the kitchen and read it aloud, then looked at me. He didn't think I was wild or wacky, he said, but I am pretty wonderful. I allowed as how he hadn't seen my wild or wacky side because I'm his mother, and kids don't always see that side of their parents.
A few minutes later, he wandered back into the kitchen and said "I think I know your wacky side, too, but just not your wild side." Because we play together and I'm silly with him.
I kissed his forehead.
"And there's the wonderful side" he said, and scampered back to his room.
Sweet.
~~~~~
Right now he's outside with Someone, helping with yard work and gardening stuff. It's chilly, and windy, and the kid looks like a homeless child in his too-large jacket and my gardening gloves..and I don't know if he's more help or hindrance...but he's happy out there with Someone, and he told me this was going to be the best January ever because his birthday's in a couple of days AND he's never had a garden before but now he will.
They're out there because Someone loves the outdoors and is delighted to have our overgrown, underloved yard to potz around in...and I needed a few minutes to write, a few minutes free of the constant barrage of questions, comments, and noise that streams from the Evil Genius like light from the sun.
I'm having a rough day, you see...I can't maintain happy, and have to crash now and then...need to wallow in the swamp a bit. I have things on my mind, worries gnawing at me...I got a deferment on the power bill, but only for a week - I have to pay it then or off it goes - and water and phone are long past due...and I am feeling the fear that any mother can relate to - how will I provide for my son?
I don't like feeling helpless, or useless. I don't like being a burden, either. I need to win the lottery.
So one more thing the kid said that made me smile - I was talking to Someone about winning the lottery, and the Evil Genius told me "Don't worry, Mommy, when I grow up I'm going to take care of you so you won't have to worry about bills or anything, and we're going to buy a cruise ship and sail around the world..."
Thanks, kid...I love you, too.
Someone is kneeling down, tying his shoelace. The Evil Genius is wandering up the drive from a wooded patch, shoes crunching the gravel. As he approaches Someone, he calls out "Dude!" Someone looks up. Evil Genius repeats "Dude!! DUDE!!" Someone responds "What?", head cocked to one side. Evil Genius says "I love you."
Someone looks at me and says "Oh, wow, he got me..."
Awesome.
~~~~~
I have this tile hanging above the kitchen sink:
It was a gift from Mum a long while ago. This morning, the Evil Genius wandered into the kitchen and read it aloud, then looked at me. He didn't think I was wild or wacky, he said, but I am pretty wonderful. I allowed as how he hadn't seen my wild or wacky side because I'm his mother, and kids don't always see that side of their parents.A few minutes later, he wandered back into the kitchen and said "I think I know your wacky side, too, but just not your wild side." Because we play together and I'm silly with him.
I kissed his forehead.
"And there's the wonderful side" he said, and scampered back to his room.
Sweet.
~~~~~
Right now he's outside with Someone, helping with yard work and gardening stuff. It's chilly, and windy, and the kid looks like a homeless child in his too-large jacket and my gardening gloves..and I don't know if he's more help or hindrance...but he's happy out there with Someone, and he told me this was going to be the best January ever because his birthday's in a couple of days AND he's never had a garden before but now he will.
They're out there because Someone loves the outdoors and is delighted to have our overgrown, underloved yard to potz around in...and I needed a few minutes to write, a few minutes free of the constant barrage of questions, comments, and noise that streams from the Evil Genius like light from the sun.
I'm having a rough day, you see...I can't maintain happy, and have to crash now and then...need to wallow in the swamp a bit. I have things on my mind, worries gnawing at me...I got a deferment on the power bill, but only for a week - I have to pay it then or off it goes - and water and phone are long past due...and I am feeling the fear that any mother can relate to - how will I provide for my son?
I don't like feeling helpless, or useless. I don't like being a burden, either. I need to win the lottery.
So one more thing the kid said that made me smile - I was talking to Someone about winning the lottery, and the Evil Genius told me "Don't worry, Mommy, when I grow up I'm going to take care of you so you won't have to worry about bills or anything, and we're going to buy a cruise ship and sail around the world..."
Thanks, kid...I love you, too.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Geography Lesson
The Evil Genius and Someone have discovered another common interest - maps. Specifically, Atlases. Bird decided he wanted to pore over Someone's Atlas before bedtime last night.
They browsed world maps...
Talked about topographical maps...
Checked out detailed maps of several nations...
And even looked over a map of the sea floor.
Homeschooling - anywhere, any time, there's a lesson to be learned. Sweet.
They browsed world maps...
Talked about topographical maps...
Checked out detailed maps of several nations...
And even looked over a map of the sea floor.
Homeschooling - anywhere, any time, there's a lesson to be learned. Sweet.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
From Horizontal to Vertical
Mum was visiting for Thanksgiving and stayed the weekend. We thought the Evil Genius was going to be away from Friday through Sunday, and we planned to clean his room and get rid of one or two thousand extraneous toys on Saturday. He's a pretty good kid, but he's still a kid, and they're not notorious for keeping things tidy or giving up a single plaything, even if it is so mangled it doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to its original form.
For your viewing pleasure, I present a before picture in video form:
Alas, the Evil Genius didn't get to go play in more amusing climes, so we had to limit our purging to a few items stealthily bagged while the boy watched Peter Pan and laughed like a loon.
In the midst of our merriment, Someone happened to call. Bird's room in that video up there? Is pretty much how it looked while Someone was visiting. He wanted to know how on earth I clean all that up, and was it a matter of turning the mess from horizontal to vertical?
Yes. Yes it is.
For your viewing pleasure, I present a before picture in video form:
Alas, the Evil Genius didn't get to go play in more amusing climes, so we had to limit our purging to a few items stealthily bagged while the boy watched Peter Pan and laughed like a loon.
In the midst of our merriment, Someone happened to call. Bird's room in that video up there? Is pretty much how it looked while Someone was visiting. He wanted to know how on earth I clean all that up, and was it a matter of turning the mess from horizontal to vertical?
Yes. Yes it is.
Monday, November 2, 2009
The Playoffs Were Never This Much Fun
I know, I know, y'all want pumpkin pics. Well...they'll come...later. I like writing about the week in chronological order. I'm OCD like that.
Since we were up late Wednesday night, we all slept late Thursday morning. I made blueberry pancakes for breakfast, and Someone had a present for Bird - a ball and glove! Well, the day being fine and nothing else pressing, we had to go outside and try them out. After a little time trying the glove on both hands and trying to catch with it, Bird wanted to bat.
Someone showed him how to hold the bat and told him how to swing.
Then they had a discussion about running bases, foul balls, outs, or something like that. I don't speak Baseball very well, and between bouts of photographing, I was doing yard work.
After the chat, it was time to toss a few! That speck in the center of the top third is the ball, flying high. Umm...Sir? I believe you're supposed to fling the thing toward the batter...
Ahh...that's better...
I didn't get any pictures of them playing Frisbee or kicking the big balls around...I was trimming bushes and removing saplings and weeding, things I can't often get done outside because I'm usually the one playing with the relentless bundle of energy that is my son. I enjoyed seeing and hearing the kids...er...my son and Someone...at play.
Between bouts of kicking, catching, and occasionally retrieving balls from treetops, Someone hauled all my trimmings to the compost pile. Wow!
We retired indoors after three hours of perpetual motion. Bird had quiet time, and Someone and I sat on the front steps and enjoyed a little quiet time with the wildlife.
Thursday evening, we headed down to Borders, where Someonewas lightly grilled met my discussion group/friends.
That about sums up Thursday. An ordinary sort of day from the outside looking in, I'm sure...but lovely from my perspective.
Since we were up late Wednesday night, we all slept late Thursday morning. I made blueberry pancakes for breakfast, and Someone had a present for Bird - a ball and glove! Well, the day being fine and nothing else pressing, we had to go outside and try them out. After a little time trying the glove on both hands and trying to catch with it, Bird wanted to bat.
Someone showed him how to hold the bat and told him how to swing.Then they had a discussion about running bases, foul balls, outs, or something like that. I don't speak Baseball very well, and between bouts of photographing, I was doing yard work.After the chat, it was time to toss a few! That speck in the center of the top third is the ball, flying high. Umm...Sir? I believe you're supposed to fling the thing toward the batter...
Ahh...that's better...I didn't get any pictures of them playing Frisbee or kicking the big balls around...I was trimming bushes and removing saplings and weeding, things I can't often get done outside because I'm usually the one playing with the relentless bundle of energy that is my son. I enjoyed seeing and hearing the kids...er...my son and Someone...at play.
Between bouts of kicking, catching, and occasionally retrieving balls from treetops, Someone hauled all my trimmings to the compost pile. Wow!
We retired indoors after three hours of perpetual motion. Bird had quiet time, and Someone and I sat on the front steps and enjoyed a little quiet time with the wildlife.
Thursday evening, we headed down to Borders, where Someone
That about sums up Thursday. An ordinary sort of day from the outside looking in, I'm sure...but lovely from my perspective.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Family
I asked the Evil Genius to do some writing yesterday. He needs the practice - his printing looks like an axe-murderers scrawl. He resisted at first. He doesn't like doing workbooks, because once he's written in them...they're done. He like to write on "clear" paper. Not blank. Clear.
He decided he would draw a picture for his father.
First, he drew a picture of himself and T, holding hands. In one corner, he put "By Bird".
He decided he would draw a picture for his father.
First, he drew a picture of himself and T, holding hands. In one corner, he put "By Bird".
Then he wanted me to tell him what to draw on the other side. He likes to draw on both sides of the paper. I don't know why. Makes it hard to display all his art, but it does save paper. Hoping to get him to write a bit, I encouraged him to write "I love Daddy". He drew a small "i", a heart, and "DADE". Too much Wall-E, I guess. Then he wanted to draw a picture to go with it. He decided he would draw his family.
He drew each of us in our favorite colors.
First, of course, himself. Then his dad (complete with facial hair). Then M, his dad's erstwhile girlfriend. Then J, her son. Then me. Then Mum. Then Little Man. Then Noodle. Then J (our roommate, T's best friend). he wanted to draw Someone, too, but there wasn't room. I figured that was OK...I don't really think T cares to have a picture of Someone, anyway, not even an artist's rendering.
We are all holding hands, and these are the people he considers his family.
Sometimes, my son astonishes me to stillness...the way he thinks, the fact that he isn't bound by traditional definitions but instead sees the people he loves...all of them...as his family. He knows these people love him, even if some of us don't know each other very well...we're connected through him, and in his mind, that's enough.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Wait, How Old Is He??
Yesterday evening, the Evil Genius and I met some friends at Mc D's for a healthy repast and a rousing game of whist.
Well - he did get apples and milk with his corn-and-soy covered chicken parts, so it wasn't entirely unhealthy. C'mon, leave me some illusions, please.
The boys had a blast, with one melt down that was adequately handled in two hours of play.
After I had calmed Bird down from that, just before he went back to playing, I asked him if he felt better. he said he did. He ate a processed chunk-o-chicken. I asked him if the nugget helped him feel better. He said yeah. I asked if it was a Zen nugget. He said no, actually, the nugget didn't help him feel better. "You help me feel better Mommy, when you talk to me like this, it helps my heart feel better." Aww!
Just before the Evil Genius and I left, he ran into another little boy, hitting the lad's head with his mouth. The other lad was fine after a moment, but for some reason Bird lost his little mind.
He cried and and was angry and didn't want to talk to me or even let me look at him. I finally got him headed out, and he stopped in the middle of the dining room, sat down to put on his shoes, and cried "All I want is a few minutes alone and you aren't letting me. You don't understand me. No one understands me!!"
I turned to my friend A and asked "How old is he again?" because I figured I wouldn't get that line until he was at least fourteen!
Good grief, they do start earlier and earlier, don't they?
Well - he did get apples and milk with his corn-and-soy covered chicken parts, so it wasn't entirely unhealthy. C'mon, leave me some illusions, please.
The boys had a blast, with one melt down that was adequately handled in two hours of play.
After I had calmed Bird down from that, just before he went back to playing, I asked him if he felt better. he said he did. He ate a processed chunk-o-chicken. I asked him if the nugget helped him feel better. He said yeah. I asked if it was a Zen nugget. He said no, actually, the nugget didn't help him feel better. "You help me feel better Mommy, when you talk to me like this, it helps my heart feel better." Aww!
Just before the Evil Genius and I left, he ran into another little boy, hitting the lad's head with his mouth. The other lad was fine after a moment, but for some reason Bird lost his little mind.
He cried and and was angry and didn't want to talk to me or even let me look at him. I finally got him headed out, and he stopped in the middle of the dining room, sat down to put on his shoes, and cried "All I want is a few minutes alone and you aren't letting me. You don't understand me. No one understands me!!"
I turned to my friend A and asked "How old is he again?" because I figured I wouldn't get that line until he was at least fourteen!
Good grief, they do start earlier and earlier, don't they?
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
Serge(r) of Love (With Bonus Video of Epic Absurdity) and Some Verbal Awesomeness
The Evil Genius knows I love to sew. He also knows that my serger broke last month during my marathon of stitchy goodness before Dragon Con. I had threading and tensioner issues, and then a needle broke, so I had to go use a friend's serger to get the job done.
Little dude knew I was bummed about it, because I can't afford to buy a new needle, and so my serger sits gathering dust.
He decided to do something about it.
He fished around in his Legos and found the right parts and...
...he built me not one, but two sergers! The second one (with the green base) was in case the first one broke.
I've been informed that, should they both break, he will repair them for me so that I can still sew.
Dear Goddess, I love that boy.
~~~~~
And now for something completely ridiculous..and maybe a wee absurd.
The Evil Genius may or may not play the SNES on occasion. He may or may not play Final Fantasy II once in a great while. Ahem.
Lately, he may or may not have been heard humming something around the house when he's playing with his stuffed animals, race cars, or anything else that has his full attention. That something? This:
Yes. Yes, my son knows the Chocobo theme, and can sing it spot on.
Perhaps we need some more quality time up a tree.
~~~~~
We were on the road, headed for Borders and our usual Thursday meeting. Little Dude was with me because Daddy couldn't keep him. I saw the moon floating high in the blue sky and greeted her "Hello, beautiful Moon".
"Where's the moon??"
"Hang on little dude, she's behind the trees...there she is..."
"Oh, I see her!"
"Isn't she beautiful?"
"Yes, she is...but you're still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
Good grief.
Little dude knew I was bummed about it, because I can't afford to buy a new needle, and so my serger sits gathering dust.
He decided to do something about it.
He fished around in his Legos and found the right parts and...
...he built me not one, but two sergers! The second one (with the green base) was in case the first one broke.I've been informed that, should they both break, he will repair them for me so that I can still sew.
Dear Goddess, I love that boy.
~~~~~
And now for something completely ridiculous..and maybe a wee absurd.
The Evil Genius may or may not play the SNES on occasion. He may or may not play Final Fantasy II once in a great while. Ahem.
Lately, he may or may not have been heard humming something around the house when he's playing with his stuffed animals, race cars, or anything else that has his full attention. That something? This:
Yes. Yes, my son knows the Chocobo theme, and can sing it spot on.
Perhaps we need some more quality time up a tree.
~~~~~
We were on the road, headed for Borders and our usual Thursday meeting. Little Dude was with me because Daddy couldn't keep him. I saw the moon floating high in the blue sky and greeted her "Hello, beautiful Moon".
"Where's the moon??"
"Hang on little dude, she's behind the trees...there she is..."
"Oh, I see her!"
"Isn't she beautiful?"
"Yes, she is...but you're still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
Good grief.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
It's a Mud,Mud,Mud,Mud,Mud,Mud World
We may have had some rain recently.
And I may have an Evil Genius who is very much a little boy.
And where my registration tent is located at the track may be in a low spot.
And there may or may not be a little mud nearby.
What's a little mud among friends?
Who wouldn't want to play in this??
The Evil Genius has never even seen The Karate Kid...he's just a prodigy.
A little help here? Anyone?? Hello???
We may need a fire hose.
Or a mud puddle that's slightly less dirty than the others.
Oh, yeah, the boots did a GREAT job...
The little dude had a terrific time in the mud - and so did all the adults watching him play. Sometimes the best things in life really are free.
And I may have an Evil Genius who is very much a little boy.
And where my registration tent is located at the track may be in a low spot.
And there may or may not be a little mud nearby.
What's a little mud among friends?
Who wouldn't want to play in this??The Evil Genius has never even seen The Karate Kid...he's just a prodigy.A little help here? Anyone?? Hello???We may need a fire hose.Or a mud puddle that's slightly less dirty than the others.Oh, yeah, the boots did a GREAT job...The little dude had a terrific time in the mud - and so did all the adults watching him play. Sometimes the best things in life really are free.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Mmmm, Coooookies
I cleaned my kitchen today. All day. It felt good. To celebrate, I baked chocolate chip cookies this evening, so now I have a clean kitchen and a house that smells delightful. I thought I'd share some of the fun with you.
The cast:
2 1/4 cups (scant) all purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
3/4 cup dark brown sugar
3/4 cup sugar
2 sticks butter, softened
2 eggs
2 tsp vanilla
1 bag semi-sweet chocolate chips
Optional:
Cinnamon
Dried cherries
Nuts
A mostly naked assistant
Action!
Preheat your oven to 375. Line a cookie sheet with Release foil - you don't have to do this, but it sure helps with clean-up.
Combine flour, salt, baking soda, and some cinnamon in a sifter. how much cinnamon? Some. More than none, less than the whole container. Seriously...I just shake it in until it looks good to me.
Cream butter and sugar.
Add vanilla...
The cast:
2 1/4 cups (scant) all purpose flour1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
3/4 cup dark brown sugar
3/4 cup sugar
2 sticks butter, softened
2 eggs
2 tsp vanilla
1 bag semi-sweet chocolate chips
Optional:
Cinnamon
Dried cherries
Nuts
A mostly naked assistant
Action!
Preheat your oven to 375. Line a cookie sheet with Release foil - you don't have to do this, but it sure helps with clean-up.
Combine flour, salt, baking soda, and some cinnamon in a sifter. how much cinnamon? Some. More than none, less than the whole container. Seriously...I just shake it in until it looks good to me.
Cream butter and sugar.
Add vanilla... And eggs...
Mix thoroughly.
Sift dry ingredients in a little at a time, mixing well between times.
Add the chocolate chips.
Add dried fruit and nuts if you're using them.
Drop by spoonfuls onto the cookie sheet.
Bake at 375 for 8 - 9 minutes, or until done to your liking.
Cool thoroughly on a rack before storing.
Reward your assistant. He earned it.
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