Keylime Bars

This weekend, K2 is having her annual pre-holiday shopping extravaganza home show, and today I'm making some keylime bars to take and share with shoppers tomorrow.  A friend on Facebook asked for the recipe and I figured I could share it here and help spread the keylimey love.

The players:

For the crust you will need:
2 Cups flour
1 Cup (2 sticks) butter
1/2 Cup powdered sugar
Pinch of salt (optional)
Dash of cinnamon (optional)

For the filling you will need:
4 eggs
5 Tablespoons keylime juice
4 Tablespoons flour
2 Cups sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt

Aaaaand...action!

Heat your oven to 325 F.  I don't know what that is in C.  You can find a conversion calculator on the Internetz if you need it.  You can find darned near anything on the Internetz whether you need it or not.

Mix the dry ingredients for the crust well.  

Melt the butter over low heat.  Wow, that's a lot of butter.  This has to be good!

Carefully pour the butter over the dry ingredients and not all over the counter while you're trying to photograph the action for your blog.  Ahem.

Mixa, mixa, mixa with a fork.  Don't get too crazy here or you'll wind up with a tough crusty part, and tough crusty parts are a bummer, man.

Once it's mixed and still nice and crumbly, dump it into a 9 x 13 pan.  Or a 13 x 9 pan.  Your choice.  Sometimes I'm a rebel and use an 8 x 11 pan so I have a thicker crust and deeper bars.  I'm crazy that way.

You do NOT need to grease the pan.  Did you notice how much butter went into this crust?  Pat it down gently until it feels pretty even.  Or you could make it all bumpy and wavy and have kind of uneven bars if you want.  Who am I to judge?

Bake at 325 F for 20 minutes.  

Remove from the oven but leave that thing cranked to 325.  Look at that crust.  Mmm...

While the crust cools a wee, let's move on to the filling.  You can wait for the crust to cool entirely if you like.  Heck, you can just make the filling while the crust bakes and pour it right on as soon as the crust has cooked.  I'm just telling you how I do it.  Anyway, the filling...

Beat the eggs fluffy.

Next, add the sugar, still beating.  Pretend the mixer is all shiny and new and not distressingly worn and weird looking.  Thanks.

Once the sugar is well beaten in, add the salt.  I used Celtic sea salt because I like it, but regular table salt is fine.

Next comes the flour, one Tablespoon at a time.

Finally, the lime juice, one Tablespoon at a time.  Let it whisk around for a bit to get nice and creamy and smooth and tantalizing.

Pour over the crust, triumphant when you didn't spill it on the stove top while you simultaneously dumped and photographed.  Hurrah!

Oooh, purty...

Bake at 325 F for 25 minutes.  It should be well set, so if it still jiggles, leave it in for a few more minutes.

Oh, bubbly wonder!

Let the whole thing cool completely.  Once cooled, you can dust it with powdered sugar or just grab a fork and dive in.  Like I said, I won't judge!

BFD

Most of the time, I like to cook.  Especially baking.

I like the way my house smells when I'm baking, and I like to give baked goods to people and watch them smile and enjoy some home made goodness.

Even when I don't especially feel like eating, I like to cook.  It's one of the ways I show love, cooking for and feeding people.

Sometimes, though, I just don't have it in me.  It's not that I stop loving my family and friends and complete strangers, it's that I can't reach that love from the beige place where my psyche occasionally dumps my ass.

Whatever my feelings about food are, my kids have this unreasonable desire to eat.  More than once a day, even.

I know!

Anyway, on nights when I'm feeling particularly lay or off, I make breakfast for dinner.  The kids want that to mean waffles or bagel, and I oblige.  Tonight, I decided that for me it meant making a little more effort and having eggs and home fries.  My kids didn't want any, because they're apparently philistines.

It'll do.

Do you ever eat breakfast for dinner?  If so, what's your favorite?

Shrimp Curry

Someone's mother brought us a blast from his past last year - curry mix. She used to make it when he was a kid.

Last October, a friend brought me a whole mess of shrimp he'd caught, as a gift. They've been lurking in the freezer.

Last week, tired of soup, tired of rummaging through various remnants in the fridge and freezer, Someone said "Shrimp curry..."

And so we did.

We peeled and de-veined some shrimp together - he peeled, I de-veined - and I chopped some onion, carrots, and celery as well. I adore cooking with him - and I love the fact that he's an adventurous eater, will try anything once, and doesn't complain about my often cockeyed cooking. This time, I followed the directions because curry is a little out of my element in the kitchen. I've eaten it, just never made it before.

We had saffron rice and something called "Japanese Blend" vegetables from the freezer section to go with it.

May I say "Yummy!!" Because...yummy!!

We will be having it again.

In Fact, I Can!

Look what I did last night:

Thanks to some friendly guidance from SciFi Chick, Casa de Crazy now has nine jars of home grown tomatoes - two with herbs, one with herbs and pepper flakes - for our stores. There would be ten, but one jar got a little excited and blew out its bottom. Dang.

Next up? As soon as the yard-longs start producing, I'm going to have a bash at pickles.

I am going to need some bigger jars...

Taking Stock

Whew, it was windy today. No kidding, a pair of skates and a sheet would have gotten me where I needed to go a lot faster than the van. With a little lift, I'd have been airborne walking through the parking lot!

I had a doctor's appointment at eight this morning. Eight! Y'all, I'm usually still asleep (or trying to be) at eight. Aww, don't get mad at me...I often go to bed after two in the morning, so eight isn't as late as it sounds.

They did the NST (Non Stress Test), and we'll be having them every week from now until Sprout pops out. That's when they wrap a funny little belt with a sensor on it around my middle and a fancy machine reads Sprout's movements and how her heart rate changes as she does the Cha-Cha in there. I don't like the time they take, but I am rather find of the comfy chair...I dozed in it, this morning. Some day, I will have a recliner again...and you watch, I'll have a butt groove worn into in no time.

I potzed a little in the kitchen and in the Blue Nowhere when I got home, played some board games with the Evil Genius, got some turkey stock on the stove, took a nap, ran some errands, came home and put the finishing touches on a pot o' soup.

Want a quick tutorial on making stock? Too bad, you're getting one anyway.

My favorite stock:

The remains of a turkey or chicken that you made for dinner a night or three ago.
Three or four celery stalks, washed.
Three or four carrots, scrubbed but not peeled
A slice or two of onion.
Salt.
Pepper.
Water.

Place bird leavin's (if there's meat on the bones, leave it - you can always use it later for soup), celery, carrots, and onion slices in a large pot. Fill with water just until the contents are covered. Add a good shake or five of salt and a few grinds or shakes of pepper - don't worry, you can always add more later.

Place over medium heat just until it begins to boil, then turn it down and let it simmer. how long? Umm...I have no idea. I let mine go until the scent drives me mad and fills the house with its goodness...or about half the day. A few hours, at least.

Let it cool - sometimes, when I'm pressed for time, I put the whole pot in the fridge to deal with another day. If you do that, just bring it to a simmer again, let it cool, and you're good to go.

Pour the contents through a strainer into a large bowl or another pot. Refrigerate the liquid overnight, or at least for a few hours. You want the fat to rise to the top and solidify so you can easily skim it off.

If you want to make soup, pick the meat off the bones and save it, then discard the rest of the solids.

Once you skim the fat off the stock, you can decant it into containers and freeze it for bloody ever. Really, I've had stock for a year or so before using it, and it was fine. Aside from the obvious (soup), you can use stock for cooking rice, lentils, beans, making gravy, mashed potatoes, pasta sauce, and anything else that requires savory liquids in the cooking.

I'll post a soup recipe some other day...this post got long on me! Meanwhile, I think I'll go throw a few biscuits in the oven and enjoy some of the turkey soup I made this evening...good winter food for a chilly night, eh?

Do you have a favorite soup?

Harmonic Convergience

When Someone and I were living far apart (he in Houston and I here in Redneck Central), we had standing date on Saturday nights to listen to Thistle and Shamrock together...he on his computer and I on mine, streaming from the same Houston radio station. We would settle into our respective listening posts, turn on the show, and one would call the other. We would listen together for the length of the program, not saying much but enjoying the music together.

Someone thought that it would be nice to listen tonight. We try to remember more often, but we've gotten a little distracted by life lately. We decided to cook dinner together and have a listen.

Someone has had a hankering for country chicken fried steak since he moved here, but there's a dearth of it in these parts. Whoda thunk it, this being Redneck Central?? Mum found out about his yen and found a recipe for us, and it's been sitting here waiting to be tried...so tonight, Someone had a go at it. I played a supporting roll, singing backup to his lead as it were, turning the potatoes he dug from the garden yesterday into mashed potatoes, steaming the green beans he picked and trimmed this afternoon, and whipping together a bit of gravy to accompany the lot.

We stood side by side at the stove, each moving in concert with the other, a dance.

How simple and grand a thing, to share a kitchen with another, preparing the meal we will soon share...

Here, then, is our dinner:

Can I begin to express how happy I am that we are not sitting far apart, listening to our computers and reaching through the aether to each other? No...I cannot...but there is one person, at least, who may feel likewise.

Thank you, love...

Health Food

Hey, y'all. It's raining at Casa de Crazy today, so we can't go outside to frolic in the dirt. No worries, there's plenty to do indoors as long as you like cleaning, laundry, and bleach related activities. Yeah. I decided the kitchen was my demesne today, and baked banana bread...but that wasn't enough. No, I wanted something meaty (hush, Google Pervs!), so I made Scotch Eggs (one of my Ren Fest favorites).

Much to my dismay surprise, they don't involve liquor. Huh. They are, however, a right handy way to use up your Ostara (or Easter, if you must) eggs besides the ubiquitous Dyed Egg Salad.

The players:
6 hard boiled eggs, peeled and preferably chilled
1 pound bulk sausage
1/2 cup flour
2 eggs, beaten (great way to use up some aggression)(not that I need to or anything)(I'm just sayin')
3/4 cup bread crumbs
Oil. Lots and lots of oil.

I also hauled the Super Fryolator of Doom out for this recipe.

Here we go.

Start the Super Fryolator of Doom heating the oil - you want it to be between 350 and 370 (F, not C, because wow...) when you're ready to cook these babies.

Evenly divide the sausage into 6 parts. I know! Division! Math! but...but...this is cooking!! Sigh. It's also how I teach the Evil Genius his chemistry, but don't tell him that.

Dredge the peeled eggs in the flour and gently brush off the excess - you just want a light dusting on 'em.

Take one portion of the sausage and flatten it into a vaguely circular/oblongish shape and wrap the egg in it.
Make sure to cover the whole egg and try to keep an even layer, but don't make yourself crazy over it.
Roll this texture fiesta in the egg, making it even more fun to handle.

Roll the ball in the bread crumbs, making sure to coat the whole thing.

Drop that sucker Carefully place the croquet-ball of cholesterol egg in the oil and fry for 4 - 5 minutes or until a loverly golden brown all over. Don't rush this step because you want that sausage to be cooked.

Drain well.

Mmm...crispy...why isn't "crispy" a food group??

Serve warm or cold, with spicy mustard on the side.

For a little extra oomph, you could add some sage, thyme, and/or cayenne to the sausage. You could also add salt, pepper, onion powder, and/or garlic powder the flour mixture. It's your Breakfast/brunch/lunch/dinner/midnight snack...go crazy.

Nom, nom, nom...uh...is that my artery hardening??

I Have Proof

Hey, look, a man in the kitchen! Cooking something!!
Quick, alert the media! I have photographic evidence...

Wait, what? Some men cook? Really?? I don't believe you - I'm blogging this.

Don't worry - no one will believe me - they'll think I photo-shopped it...

Your reputation won't be tarnished.

Hey...nice nuggets. Of okra, I mean!!
Now ain't that purty??

White Trash Italian

I am not Italian. I've never even played one on TV. Still, I adore Italian food.


What I had for dinner tonight was about as Italian as apple pie...which is to say...not very.


It was fairly tasty, though. I had a photo, but it seems the camera resents being used to take trashy pictures, because I can't seem to make it load. Oh, well.


Imagine, then:


1 can Campbell's Chunky Rigatoni with Meatballs soup
Oregano
Garlic powder
salt
Mozzarella cheese


Open can, dump soup in casserole dish.


Sprinkle liberally with oregano. Add dusting of garlic powder and salt. Cover with enough mozzarella to choke a goat. Yes, that is too a real measurement...look it up! Bake at 350 until golden and bubbly. Try not to think too hard about fat, sodium, calories or carbs while enjoying it.


I'm thinking of adding peperoni, next time, or sausage...or maybe making a healthier, from-scratch version with Italian sausage and ricotta, and...umm...excuse me, I think I need to go stand on the scale until I regain my senses...

It's How I Roll, Yo

Every night now and then, we run out of traditional dinner fare at Casa de Crazy. On those regular rare occasions, I may have to improvise a meal.

Often, that means scrambled eggs and toast, or some kind of fritata-from-the-leftovers, or a quick dial-up to one of the two places that will deliver food to our door for a mortgage payment nominal fee.

On rarer occasions, I'll have some crescent-rolls-in-a-tube on hand, and I have some fun rolling random ingredients up in them.

A few nights ago, I found myself wondering what I could have for dinner that didn't involve dialing the phone. T was out if town, the Evil Genius supped on a sumptuous feast of leftover pizza (cold,natch) and milk, and I didn't feel like messing up a whole lot of pots and pans for dinner for one.

I remembered the crescent rolls. And the peperoni. And the chopped peppers, and the onion, and the chunk o' cheddar cheese. Woo-hoo, dinner was on! On half the crescents I layered pepperoni, cheese, peppers and onions, rolled 'em up, and pinched the edges closed to help fend off leakage. On the other half of the rolls I spread a bit of orange marmalade, sprinkled a few chocolate chips (Ghiradelli 60% cacao, no less) and some dried cherries. Rolled 'em up, pinched the edges, and baked the lot at 350 for 18 minutes.

I'll be walking them off for a month, but it was totally worth it!

So...how do you roll??

Back in the saddle...er...brownie pan...again.

Never one to admit defeat, T decided that he was going to have another go at brownies last night.

Good thing I keep a well stocked pantry, huh? Yep, all kinds of healthy stuff from the food groups in there...muffin mix (for when I am too freaking lazy to make my own from scratch), chocolate chips, sugar, and boxed brownie mix...and the occasional Cap'n Crunch super-mega-jumbo box, for light snacking.

Anyway, T decided he would try again, this time actually reading the directions and everything...I didn't even have to get up off my arse to check the batter for smoothness. Score!

In the time honored bonding ritual of the licking of the beater and bowl, my two fellas bonded while the brownies baked.

Does it really matter how the actual brownies came out?

Of course they were awesome.

Mmmm, Brownies...

T wanted brownies on Friday night. I usually keep a box mix or twenty two in the pantry, so I told him to heat the oven and eventually I'd get 'round to brownies. Now, T's no dummy - he knows that "eventually" could be quite a long while...so he decided to make them himself.

Don't get me wrong, I like homemade brownies as much as the next person - fudgy, chewy, warm, with vanilla bean ice cream, they're hard to beat. When you're in a rush, though, Betty Crocker Ultimate Fudge brownies are a fine substitute.

He asked me about a few steps (like where the brownie pan lives - in the cupboard with the mixing bowls, natch; what I use to grease the pan - butter; and what kind of oil I use - canola, in the pantry a few shelves down from the top) and wanted me to check the texture of the batter, then poured and baked.

When they were done, he asked me when I put the frosting on.

Umm...frosting? The only brownies I frost are the Double-Double Ghiradelli brownies I make on very rare occasions when I want to get high on chocolate fumes...or anesthetize the chocolate center of my brain.

He was confused - don't I use the frosting?

Umm...what frosting?

I had to go look.

Oops.

You know how they're called Ultimate Fudge Brownies? And on the box there's a picture of a pouch of Hershey's chocolate? And, if you read the directions, it tells you to empty the pouch into the batter and stir it in?

And you know how sometimes, one in a while, on rare occasions, guys might not stop for read the directions?

Guess what? If you ever make Betty Crocker Ultimate Fudge brownies and you forget to add the pouch of fudgy goodness? You can just empty it over the top of the still-warm brownies, spread it evenly, and....yep, still awfully good!

T said he felt stupid...I just laughed and tried to tell him it was OK...that lots of culinary brilliance came from such mistakes. I don't think he bought it.

Hey T, if it makes you feel any better? I think those brownies added five acres back onto my ass.

This Ain't Yer Granny's Bannock!!

A while back, I shared my insanely decadent recipe for oatmeal. I had some leftovers, and mentioned one of the possibilities for leftover oatmeal: bannocks. Well, I didn't get around to writing about them then, and ate that leftover oatmeal heated from the microwave. This morning, I made more and decided it was bannocking time.

Being all into due diligence and whatnot (my mum was a lawyer for a bit, can you tell?), I decided to look up bannocks on the Internet, and guess what? The things I've called bannocks all this time aren't much like any of the recipes I found! Oh, well. I found a nifty traditional Welsh recipe, which looked interesting, and a pioneer style recipe that tickled my fancy as well - I liked the lack of measurements and the camping notes. If you want a "proper" bannock, go check them out.

No matter - I have called these babies bannocks since I started making them, and bannocks they shall be. Let's get started, shall we?

The cast:

Leftover Oatmeal

Flour (I used whole wheat)

Baking Powder

Butter

Water

Oil

More butter

A frying pan - cast iron would be nicest, but I used a regular non-stick this time.

And...action!

In a mixing bowl, combine about 1/3 cup leftover oatmeal with and equal amount of flour. Add about 1/2 teaspoon baking powder and a tablespoon of butter. Mix well with a fork, a spoon, or your fingers until it looks like this:

Looks a mess, doesn't it? Now add some water, a tiny bit at a time, and mix it in well, until you have a dough ball like this:

If you're a little nervous about it holding together, you can add an egg and some more flour (I don't, but I understand if you want to), just make sure your end result looks like the dough ball.

Now heat some oil and butter in your pan, on medium setting for the love of all that's unburnt!!. I think I used about a quarter cup or a bit less of oil and maybe a tablespoon plus a bit more of butter.

When the butter is nice and bubbly, it's ready for your bannocky goodness.

Make a cake out of the dough ball and gently place it in the (gently) hot oil/butter (gently!!).

Let is sit for a few minutes. It's getting a nice brown bottom in there.

Carefully turn the bannock, using two turners if necessary. Really, do this gently or the whole thing may fall to pieces or splash that hot stuff all over you.

Let it brown some more, then gently lift it out and place the whole thing - spatula and all, on some paper towels to drain for a moment. Serve warm as is or sprinkle a little cinnamon and sugar on it to make it extra festive. Don't judge this thing on how it looks - you'll be glad you gave it a chance!

There, that ought to take all the healthy right out of your oatmeal!