He isn't a pedophile.
He is a sex offender, caught by a pretty girl's lies about her age, caught by her Father's anger and denial of his daughter's serial behavior with men.
He isn't a pedophile.
He is terrified of touching or being touched by children. He is afraid that even a hug will be misconstrued by people who don't care about anything but labels. He is careful not to hug, pick up, pat, or come in contact with children who aren't his. He doesn't even want to push them on a swing or pick them up and offer comfort if they fall or get a boo-boo.
He isn't a pedophile.
He is concerned about changing his daughter's diaper, even at home, concerned about cleaning her bottom or her vulva too carefully, the way they should be cleaned, because he worries that people will think the worst of him. He worries about giving his daughter a bath or letting her shower with her Papa.
He isn't a pedophile.
He is a graduate of his home state's prison system, and a product of his experience there. He is angry, lost, hurt, resentful, bitter, confused, and damaged, and he doesn't know how to find his way to a healthier self so he is mired in it all, feeling isolated, abandoned, unwanted.
He isn't a pedophile.
He is angered by the very idea that anyone would attempt sexual activity with a child, disgusted, horrified. He does not find children of any sex attractive in that way.
He isn't a pedophile.
He is afraid to go to the park, the Y, the indoor play places with his family, afraid it will give people the wrong idea, that he will go back to prison just for climbing on the play structure with his daughter.
He isn't a pedophile.
He is hemmed in, hampered by the laws surrounding his crime, laws that do not differentiate between his foolish mistake and the man who raped a little girl, the laws that say all SOs are the same and get the same treatment and are SOs forever.
He isn't a pedophile.
He is on the receiving end of bitterness, assumption, the consequences of his own actions and the anger of others. He is struggling with his identity, not quite sure of his place in this world, of who or what he is.
He isn't a pedophile.
He is the man I love, the father of my daughter, the person I see disintegrating even as he is trying to rebuild himself, so much more than the indelible label that he's been given.
He is a lot of things, but he isn't a pedophile.
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2 comments:
Too many people don't know (or want to know) the difference.
I have always been so disgusted by the lack of distinction our justice system shows in cases such as this. Example: a 19 yr old boy has sex with a 16 yr old girl who has a fake id saying she's 18....he is labeled a pedophile for the rest of his life. Completely erroneous! Much love to you all!
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