Dear Golden Pantry,
I thought you'd like to know about the lady working the early hours at your store on the corner of 53 and Tanner's Mill Road here in Redneck Central.
I had occasion to stumble in for coffee this morning. She was alone in the shop, probably because finding ONE person to work at that hour is miraculous, let alone TWO. As soon as I made my squinch-eyed way into the shop, she greeted me. When she noticed I was shambling towards the coffee, she asked what kind I wanted. When I plaintively requested, half joking, "extra caffeinated", she told me which pot had the most kick.
The cash register in that store talks. Do you know how annoying that is? Compounding matters, it doesn't speak clearly, so what SHOULD sound like "Swipe your pass" ACTUALLY sound like "Wipe your..." umm...portion of anatomy that rhymes with "pass". I beg your pardon? Impertinent!
Said machine also says "Uh-oh!" in a high-pitched voice with distressing frequency. The nice lady is developing a twitch over this. I suggested making a drinking game of it - every time the machine says "Uh-oh!", she does a shot. I apologize for that...but I DO think she's going to be MUCH happier now.
At any rate, the nice lady behind the counter made me laugh this morning, and given my rough night, scant sleep, and general level of grump, that was a difficult and much valued feat. She deserves a reward, just sayin'.
The Early Morning Zombie