Gone to Pot

Lort.

I would still be asleep but for the very nice sheriff’s officer who rang my doorbell this morning. In his defense, he couldn’t possibly have known that I did not sleep much or well last night and I only really fell into a deep slumber just as the sun was beginning to peek over the horizon.

You may wonder why a sheriff’s officer was ringing my doorbell.  I certainly did.

It turns out that “someone” called in a complaint about empty flowerpots all over my yard.

Imagine my surprise to hear that I have empty flowerpots all over my yard.

Before ringing my bell, the nice young man looked around the yard, confused, seeing no empty flowerpots. There are some flower pots filled with soil lining several of my garden beds. The garden beds are fallow as I have chosen not to plant anything this year.  I am pondering whether or not I should remove the garden beds entirely. I can’t keep up with it anymore, and if I should decide to garden in the future I can always put more beds in.

Flower pots? Really? The officer did point out that there were a couple of things that maybe I could relocate because they are scrap and shouldn’t be where they are, but he wasn’t terribly pressed about it.  He mentioned that he was expecting to see empty flowerpots all over the yard, not neatly placed around garden beds and filled with soil. He seemed rather disgusted by the person who called it in.

He’s not the same fellow who has been called out here before on other bogus complaints, and I explained to him that yes, they do get called out here sometimes by someone (eye roll towards neighbors house) who seems intent upon harassing me because they don’t like me or the way that I live.

I told the officer that I was sorry that he had wasted a trip, and that it was likely that they would get more calls throughout the year. If they call ahead I’ll bake a cake.  I have to admit, I thought that the harassment via law-enforcement was over. While I cannot prove that it was the unpleasant neighbor up to her regular shenanigans, it certainly fits her pattern.

I was happy to learn that I cannot be cited for any code violations because of yardwork, or lack thereof. There is no code for grass height, nor is there any code for fallen branches or deadfall in the woods.  I’m thankful for that, as I do not own a lawnmower and I’m disinclined to do yardwork even on my best days. I wouldn’t mow this early in the year, anyway, as leaving the grass and flowers to grow as they will is helpful to the local honeybee population.  He nodded approval and understanding.

All in all, he was a very nice fellow. Kind of cute, if I’m being honest. I caught myself glancing down at his left hand to see if he was wearing a ring. Oh my goodness, but old habits die hard! He told me he hopes that I won’t get too much trouble from whoever it is that’s calling me in and smiled at me. I told him that I thought that he was awfully pleasant, and while I wouldn’t like for him to be called out here again it wouldn’t be terrible to have another conversation. I don’t think I was flirting. No really. Why are you rolling your eyes that way?

He mentioned that he really likes the banner on my door. I told him that it is something that I strive for, and although I may not succeed every day I never stop trying. We chatted about his ink (I will notice tattoos), exchanged pleasantries, and he was on his way.

The upshot of this visit, for me, is a new acquaintance in law-enforcement (I must admit, for all of the bitterness that I have towards certain law enforcement individuals, I have not had many bad experiences with my local constabulary. They have mostly been pleasant, professional, and even downright friendly throughout most of our dealings), and a little more empowerment regarding the state of my home and the laws surrounding us.  Oh, and I got a blog post out of it!

I do wonder. These supposedly Christian people never approach me, never ask me nicely to take care of anything that concerns them. They never offer to help me. They know that I am a single mother with two children on a large property (3/4 of an acre is quite large where I live, although small in comparison to other rural areas). They know that I do not own a lawn mower or other yardwork equipment, just some small hand tools.  I know that they have never seen me out doing any kind of yardwork. I have always tried to remain pleasant when dealing with them, even when they were unkind and even downright rude to me. Why is this? Why do they feel that it is not only acceptable, but necessary, to harass me to live my life the way that they deem fit? 

I may not be Christian myself, but I do know Christ’s teachings.  These people who claim to follow him do not seem to understand what he tought. I wish I could say that this was isolated, an anomaly to the religion, but it isn’t. Before anybody gets their feathers ruffled, I know there are good Christians in the world. Just as I know that there are good pagans and bad pagans. It’s not really about what gods we profess to follow, it’s more about how we choose to behave and embody their teachings. In this neighborhood, there seem to be a lot more people who speak one thing, but an act another.

I know that my neighborhood is no different than many neighborhoods in this area, and in fact in this nation.

I find it distressing.

While I can think of many ways to be ugly to the unpleasant neighbor who seems to think that harassing me via law-enforcement will get her what she wants - my living a life that she thinks is proper, or moving away - it simply won’t. There is a very specific set of circumstances that will allow me to leave this house and move to another property. Those circumstances haven’t been met, yet, and likely won’t be for a very long time. She is simply going to have to deal with her frustration as I have no intention of changing anything.

I will continue to endeavor to live a good life. I am human, and I fail, but I never stop trying.  I will let the unpleasant neighbor live her life without addressing her. Frankly, aside from writing a blog post or two, she’s really not worth my time. She has to live with herself. She has to think the thoughts that are in her head. She has to live with the consequences that her ugliness bring into her life. I do not. 

Now that I have written this account of my morning encounter, I’m getting on with my day. I have things to do, things that make me happy and that will hopefully make others happy as well. There’s a stack of sewing as high as my head to be done. There are cats to be pet and fed and otherwise loved on.  There are music lessons and cooking to be done.

I may even go out and trim the Camillia bush. Not because of my neighbor, or for any other reason than that I know it needs doing, and was already planning on getting to it in the next day or two.

Flower pots. She called the sheriff because of flower pots. Maybe I need to go over there and offer to teach her to quilt or crochet. She clearly needs a hobby.

Dog Dammit!!

I'm surrounded.

I had no choice but to run barking down the driveway, confirming to any doubting neighbor that I am really quite mad.

Not once, but twice today.

Really...barking, growling, baring my teeth and generally behaving like a raving...well...bitch.

On the upside, I don't think I'll have many people knocking on my door asking for donations to their cause.

Permit me to explain.

Two of my neighbors on the cul-de-sac have dogs. One (I'll call him Z) is allegedly a Jack Russel, but I think it's also part horse - the thing's as tall as the Evil Genius! The other (I'll call him B) looks to be predominantly Boxer, but probably also has a horse somewhere in its lineage.

Both neighbors let their dogs run loose, unsupervised, for most of the day. The dogs run, tumble, fight, and act like dogs do. Unfortunately, the dogs like MY yard for their playground.

Z is a pretty good dog - still a puppy, he wants to run and jump and play and doesn't understand that the Evil Genius is afraid of dogs jumping on him. Z jumps up when he's excited. He also runs away and hopes we'll chase him, and we will occasionally oblige him.

B, on the other hand, likes to plow right into the Evil Genius, doesn't even try to play. He likes to get up on the front porch of Casa de Crazy and eat the cat food there, and menace the outdoor kitties. He has torn landscape timbers out and chewed them up, leaving chunks (with and without nails) all over the place. He's pulled out garden stakes, too, and shat in my iris bed. I've tried being gentle with him and disciplining him, but I can't buck his human's inattentiveness.

This morning, I heard excited barking on the front porch. I knew who was out there, and my patience was thin, so I ran down the stairs, threw open the door, and began barking and growling as I ran the dogs off the porch. They had one of the cats cornered, and I don't doubt that B, at least, would probably have loved to chew her up if he could only catch her.

So I chased them down the stairs and up the driveway, wearing house clothes (jeans, loose top, bare feet, hair undoubtedly looking like something nested in it last night) barking and growling and showing them my teeth - acting like a dog protecting its territory, which seems to be the only thing they understand. Z lives closest and is the smarter of the two, and he ran home, sat in his yard, cocked his head, and said something along the lines of "I believe I am living among mad people."

B ran into the cul-de-sac, where he likes to lurk anyway, and barked - "I ain't skeered of you..."...then tried to come at me. I barked, growled, showed my teeth, and radiated angry dog attitude, and he decided that there was something more interesting at home.

I hoped that would be the end of it...but no. No, apparently seeing me go after their dogs meant nothing to the neighbors (or, more likely, they had no idea it happened), because the dogs were at it again later in the afternoon. This time, I was barking before I opened the door, and the dogs scattered...they knew I meant business. Perhaps they've seen The World According to Garp and have concerns.

I don't hate dogs - on the contrary, I am rather fond of them. As with children, I don't care to be subjected to ill-behaved ones, and blame the humans responsible for the beasts. I am sure Z and B are perfectly nice dogs, and I don't doubt their humans mean well (it must seem kinder to let them run and play than to lock them up)...but they're scaring my son, frightening the cats, eating the cat food, have gotten into my garage and chewed things up, torn open my trash and scattered it, taken a beloved crockery bowl from the porch and shattered it, and B, at least, is often out at night. He's dark brown and likes to run at vehicles coming into the cul-de-sac. I've nearly hit him. My roommate has almost hit him. Several others have almost hit him.

I've spoken to Z's humans...but it looks like I'll have to do it again. They said they would keep him in their fenced back yard...which would be fine, if they could manage to keep the gate closed! I have tried to make B's human understand that his dog scares the crap out of my kid...but he protests that B is just a big baby and really very sweet, and lets him run.

I don't think it's right that I can't go outside without wondering if I'll have to deal with not-my-dogs. I shouldn't have to fear going barefoot in my own yard, and my kid shouldn't have to run back into the house in a fright because some dog has knocked him down and damn near bitten him. I shouldn't have to simply hope the dogs won't dig up the garden and ruin our crops, and I shouldn't have to buy twice as much cat food because the dogs are eating it, too.

I now have the onerous task of taking this to the neighbors and asking them - again - to please keep their dogs according to the law - in a fenced enclosure or chain well within their property lines unless they are leashed with a human attendant...and leave unspoken, for now, the threat that I will call animal control if I must, because I will not be denied the ability to enjoy my own home or have my son refuse to go outdoors because of careless pet owners.

Ugh...I loathe confrontation...

What would you do?

Dam, Trees

Mum has a pond on the land to which she belongs (we don't own land, it owns us). It is not a Nature-made pond, but is the result of a dam. She didn't build the dam - prospectors made it during the Dahlonega gold rush, long before she was born. One of these days, I'll bring my gold-panning pan up there and play around, see what I find...after all, they must have had a good reason to do all that work!

The pond is close to the boundary.

Someone bought the land adjacent to her and decided to build in the woods. They decided to cut down lovely old trees and place their house withing sight of the pond - and definitely closer to the boundary lines than local codes permit. They are almost on the line. So much for little bothersome things like setbacks.

See the house? And the garage? I took this while standing beside one of the little trees we planted.

That caged tree on the left? I was standing a few feet to the left of that one.

Mum was a bit put off by the proximity of these rude, loud, inconsiderate people who broke laws and ignored building codes. She wouldn't have minded sharing her pond...if they'd been decent about it. Instead, they paved, cut, built where they shouldn't, and generally had a "fuck you" attitude about things. The feel like they are entitled to the view, law and local ordinance be damned.

Well.

Really, it doesn't do to rile Mum. She's not all sweetness and light like me (you hush, T...I hear you snickering).

She thought about how to get back at these bad neighbors.

I was all for an old, rusted out Ford, painted pink and chartreuse with purple spots, set just on her side of the property line. And giant, solar-powered light-up flamingos. And bright spotlights that stayed on all night long - you know, in case of marauding Yetis or something.

She laughed, but how would we get the Ford down there? And we couldn't find flamingos horrible enough for her needs. The light would disturb the wildlife, too...and we don't want to punish the creatures who live in the woods, just the ones in the house.

What to do, what to do?

Trees.

She decided to plant trees.

First, a line of curly-willows near the pond - they will provide shade and somewhere for birds to perch, and if they overhang the pond then frogs and turtles will have places to hang about without fearing the herons.

Next will come the Leland Cyprus trees. They grow tall, wide, and swift. She'll plant them closer to the boundary, and within a few years they'll completely block all view of the pond from that other house. They will be green and thick even in Winter. Mum won't have the lovely woods back again, but at least she won't have to see that house sitting there, hunched on the property line, staring down at her when she sits or walks beside the pond.

These folks thought they could scoff at the law and have their way...but they didn't reckon on Mum's creative streak.