Is/n't

 We're deep in the heart of February, and here we are.

Yup.

Here.  We.  Are.

Welp.

Here, have a not-at-all-but-maybe-a-little random list of things that is/isn't depression:

Depression isn't a fleeting feeling of sadness.
Depression is long-term-to-constant, often crushing, feeling of absolute bleakness.

Depression is a beast that cannot be tamed, but may be slightly gentled through work (HARD work), medication, and cussed determination.
Depression isn't something that can be cured, and can certainly not be cured by any sort of bootstraps or their tugging.

Depression isn't something to be ashamed of.
Depression is a deep and abiding feeling of shame that haunts its bearer into silence.

Depression isn't always deadly.
Depression is always trying to kill.  Every minute.  Every day.  Every breath.  Every blink.

Depression is not showering, not brushing teeth, not doing laundry, not eating right, not eating, feeling unworthy, feeling alone, feeling lonely, not doing dishes, a messy home, sleeping all the time, not sleeping at all, not paying bills, getting lost in time, a liar and a thief.
Depression isn't laziness, just an excuse, just giving up, taking care of yourself, a matter of deciding to be well and happy.

Depression isn't always easy to see.
Depression is outright lying to any and every one about being fine.

Depression is forgetting to take medication and appointments and birthdays and life, the Universe, and everything.
Depression isn't forgetting that those things matter.

Depression isn't the inability to feel happiness, to laugh.
Depression is the ability to feel all of those things even as it is devouring the soul.

Depression isn't the inability to love.
Depression is the inability to feel loved.

And with that cheerful, partial list, I'm going to wander off into the fog and see how lost I am/can get inside my own head.