I'm tired. Got home Monday from PSG in Illinois, ten days of camping and music and all kinds of drumming and drama. Lots of laundry, unpacking, and general cleaning to do. Lots of sewing to do for the next show, which is in two weeks. No singing this time, just selling and spending time with friends. No time to write a real blog right now...the sewing, she will not do herself, so...here's a video of a song that is currently stuck in my head. What're you up to?
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Blargh!
I have had swollen glands in my neck since last Wednesday.
Sore throat started Friday.
Hurts to swallow.
Do you know how many times one may swallow in the course of the night?
Me neither, I quit counting around 100.
My temperature goes up and down faster and with greater frequency than a yo-yo at a Duncan exhibition.
I need a nap after going down stairs to do laundry and then coming back up.
I need a nap after getting a glass of water. It can take hours to drink that glass of water if i manage to stay awake.
My ears throb. My throat throbs. My jaw aches. Holding my head up is...unpleasant...
After three nights of zero real sleep because I drift off only to wake up whenever I swallow, then can't get back to sleep because I can't help swallowing, I finally caved and went to the doctor.
I have never felt like this. Ever.
He swabbed my throat and pronounced a very slight case of strep.
Slight?
I feel like the sword swallower who hiccoughed on the way down!
Slight???
I have never had strep. This is a new experience, and I can honestly and emphatically say I could happily never have known the joys of it personally. Sometime it's okay to live vicariously.
Also, if this is slight? I hope I may never know the full-throttle version.
Sore throat started Friday.
Hurts to swallow.
Do you know how many times one may swallow in the course of the night?
Me neither, I quit counting around 100.
My temperature goes up and down faster and with greater frequency than a yo-yo at a Duncan exhibition.
I need a nap after going down stairs to do laundry and then coming back up.
I need a nap after getting a glass of water. It can take hours to drink that glass of water if i manage to stay awake.
My ears throb. My throat throbs. My jaw aches. Holding my head up is...unpleasant...
After three nights of zero real sleep because I drift off only to wake up whenever I swallow, then can't get back to sleep because I can't help swallowing, I finally caved and went to the doctor.
I have never felt like this. Ever.
He swabbed my throat and pronounced a very slight case of strep.
Slight?
I feel like the sword swallower who hiccoughed on the way down!
Slight???
I have never had strep. This is a new experience, and I can honestly and emphatically say I could happily never have known the joys of it personally. Sometime it's okay to live vicariously.
Also, if this is slight? I hope I may never know the full-throttle version.
Friday, June 7, 2013
Anatomy Of An Alleged Night's Sleep
9:00 PM - Pantyhose on an octopus pajamas on Sprout.
9:30 PM - warn Evil Genius it's almost time to wrap it up, attempt to rock Sprout (who has other plans).
10:00 PM - attempt to convince Evil Genius to heed parental authority and wrap it up, still rocking Sprout, who is writhing like she's being pinched, poked, and stabbed with hot needles while voicing her protest about sleep in general and being rocked in particular at the top of her lungs.
10:15 PM - make another pass at the Evil Genius, who is suddenly intent upon perfecting his impression of a particularly slow-moving Sloth. Try no to drop Sprout on her head while she determinedly seeks solace in abrupt impact with the floor.
10:30 PM - Remind feline that caterwauling next to the head of the child I am trying to get to sleep is probably not such a good idea.
10:45 PM - Tell Sprout she is going to be the entree for tomorrow night's dinner if she doesn't settle down. At this point, the girl is so tired she cannot keep her eyes open, but she is still struggling. Sleep? Is for chumps! The Evil Genius has now taken forty-five minutes to clean up two lego bricks and an army man. Several hundred to go.
11:00 PM - threaten to kill and eat any child who is not in bed asleep in less than five minutes. Sound convincing.
11:10 PM - deposit soundly sleeping Sprout in her bed, making sure her "nankie" (the blanket Mum knit her that has become her one and only Thing That Must Always Be In Sprout's Presence) is covering her. Remind the Evil Genius for the umpteenth time that he will sleep better on a bed NOT covered in small, poke-y toys, then give up and wish him sweet dreams.
11:15 PM - crawl into bed with an exhausted Someone, cuddle up, drift to sleep.
11:48 PM - wake to crying Sprout noises. Go and comfort her.
11:52 PM - back to bed.
11:58 PM - more crying Sprout. Rock her, comfort her, finally peel her out of previously perfectly comfortable pajamas that are now, apparently, the toddler equivalent of shrink wrap dipped in acid and entirely intolerable.
12:43 AM - back to bed.
1:30 AM - rouse from slumber to go cover now-pajamaless Sprout who has managed to roll herself out of her nankie cover and finds a general house temperature of 76 degrees to be sub-arctic.
2:22 AM - repeat above step.
3:36 AM - repeat above step.
4:20 AM - wake from sound sleep to feel son tapping leg and loudly voicing his concern over his stomach burbling. Remove to the hallway to discuss the nature and location of the burbles while reminding him that there are others sleeping and whispering will suffice. Inform son that said burbles probably mean he will be needing to run to the bathroom with greater frequency for a bit. Delight at the information that he has already had diarrhea once tonight. Joy.
5:49 AM - wake to Someone angrily admonishing cat to quit scratching outside the litter box in which she has just made a deposit, because twenty minutes of covering it up with non-existent floor-litter is enough.
5:50 AM - out of bed and removing sheets, as a cat has peed on Someone's feet. Again. Start laundry, make bed, lie down.
6:00 AM - Turn off Someone's alarm. Sprout whimpers. Oh...no...
6:15 AM - hear thud as Sprout climbs out of bed. Help her onto the big bed because she doesn't climb very well while holding her nankie. Try to convince her that she wants to go back to sleep.
8:00 AM - wake pinned by snoring Sprout because Evil Genius's alarm is going off, and despite being mere inches from his head he has not heard it and is still asleep. Call out to him with ever increasing volume to turn. that. damned. thing. off!
8:47 AM - Sprout is awake, again, and is now declaring the day ready to start, thankyouverymuch.
Spend rest of day in sleep deprived haze.
Repeat with variations on the theme.
9:30 PM - warn Evil Genius it's almost time to wrap it up, attempt to rock Sprout (who has other plans).
10:00 PM - attempt to convince Evil Genius to heed parental authority and wrap it up, still rocking Sprout, who is writhing like she's being pinched, poked, and stabbed with hot needles while voicing her protest about sleep in general and being rocked in particular at the top of her lungs.
10:15 PM - make another pass at the Evil Genius, who is suddenly intent upon perfecting his impression of a particularly slow-moving Sloth. Try no to drop Sprout on her head while she determinedly seeks solace in abrupt impact with the floor.
10:30 PM - Remind feline that caterwauling next to the head of the child I am trying to get to sleep is probably not such a good idea.
10:45 PM - Tell Sprout she is going to be the entree for tomorrow night's dinner if she doesn't settle down. At this point, the girl is so tired she cannot keep her eyes open, but she is still struggling. Sleep? Is for chumps! The Evil Genius has now taken forty-five minutes to clean up two lego bricks and an army man. Several hundred to go.
11:00 PM - threaten to kill and eat any child who is not in bed asleep in less than five minutes. Sound convincing.
11:10 PM - deposit soundly sleeping Sprout in her bed, making sure her "nankie" (the blanket Mum knit her that has become her one and only Thing That Must Always Be In Sprout's Presence) is covering her. Remind the Evil Genius for the umpteenth time that he will sleep better on a bed NOT covered in small, poke-y toys, then give up and wish him sweet dreams.
11:15 PM - crawl into bed with an exhausted Someone, cuddle up, drift to sleep.
11:48 PM - wake to crying Sprout noises. Go and comfort her.
11:52 PM - back to bed.
11:58 PM - more crying Sprout. Rock her, comfort her, finally peel her out of previously perfectly comfortable pajamas that are now, apparently, the toddler equivalent of shrink wrap dipped in acid and entirely intolerable.
12:43 AM - back to bed.
1:30 AM - rouse from slumber to go cover now-pajamaless Sprout who has managed to roll herself out of her nankie cover and finds a general house temperature of 76 degrees to be sub-arctic.
2:22 AM - repeat above step.
3:36 AM - repeat above step.
4:20 AM - wake from sound sleep to feel son tapping leg and loudly voicing his concern over his stomach burbling. Remove to the hallway to discuss the nature and location of the burbles while reminding him that there are others sleeping and whispering will suffice. Inform son that said burbles probably mean he will be needing to run to the bathroom with greater frequency for a bit. Delight at the information that he has already had diarrhea once tonight. Joy.
5:49 AM - wake to Someone angrily admonishing cat to quit scratching outside the litter box in which she has just made a deposit, because twenty minutes of covering it up with non-existent floor-litter is enough.
5:50 AM - out of bed and removing sheets, as a cat has peed on Someone's feet. Again. Start laundry, make bed, lie down.
6:00 AM - Turn off Someone's alarm. Sprout whimpers. Oh...no...
6:15 AM - hear thud as Sprout climbs out of bed. Help her onto the big bed because she doesn't climb very well while holding her nankie. Try to convince her that she wants to go back to sleep.
8:00 AM - wake pinned by snoring Sprout because Evil Genius's alarm is going off, and despite being mere inches from his head he has not heard it and is still asleep. Call out to him with ever increasing volume to turn. that. damned. thing. off!
8:47 AM - Sprout is awake, again, and is now declaring the day ready to start, thankyouverymuch.
Spend rest of day in sleep deprived haze.
Repeat with variations on the theme.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
If My Ten-Year-Old Gets It...
The following conversation took place in Tess the Mule (our second Astro) while we were waiting at the dealership:
"Hey, Little Dude...?"
"What, Mommy?"
"If I have a bucket of popcorn and you want some, but I won't give you any, is it okay to help yourself?"
"No-o." He says it like it's obvious.
"Okay...but what if you're really hungry and really want some popcorn?"
"No." Duh, mommy.
"What if I tell you I have a chocolate bar and I'm going to share it, but then I don't. Is it okay to take it from me?"
"No. It's your chocolate bar. You don't have to share it if you don't want to."
"How about if I have been telling you all day how I have this chocolate bar and we're going to share it, and now you really want some chocolate?"
"It's still not okay."
"What if I tell you I will share with you, but then I fall asleep? Is it cool to take it then?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because it's yours, and you can't share it if you're asleep, it's just me taking it."
"How 'bout if I have a bucket of quarters and I tell people I'm going to share them later, but than I don't? Is it okay to take them from me?"
"No, that's stealing."
'Suppose I am very drunk and say I am going to let you have my quarters, but then I pass out"
"Still no, Mommy." He's impatient, now.
"And if you ask if I will share the quarters and I say no, but then pass out, is it okay to take them?"
"Uh, no."
"And if I am asleep and you ask me if you can eat 27 Kit Kat bars and I don't wake up and say 'no' does that mean 'Yes'?"
"No. You have to say 'yes' to mean 'yes', Mommy." Again, duh.
"What if I am asleep and someone else comes along and asks me if they can have my quarters and I don't say 'no' and they take them?"
"Then I would tell them not to, because you didn't say 'yes' and that's not okay, and they shouldn't take what isn't theirs, it's stealing."
I bet YOU, dear reader, understood where I was going with this.
"So the same is true for sex, buddy."
"Um, okay."
"Some day you'll be interested in sex. Really interested. And sex feels good. And when someone says they will have sex and then changes their mind, it can be frustrating. But...even if you really want to have sex, what does it mean if they say 'You know what? I changed my mind.' and they don't want to any more?"
"It means no sex."
"What if you hear someone telling others how much they want to have sex, but then they are passed out, and you see someone taking them away because they're going to go ahead without asking?"
"Um...that's wrong, because just because you don't say 'no' doesn't mean you are okay with it."
"What if you say you want to have sex but then change your mind? It is okay for you to say know after you said yes?"
"Well...of course it is."
So...we have never discussed rape. We've talked about sex a little, about the biological imperative and body parts and the biological reason for sex, but rape? Not yet. I have not said the word "rape" to him or discussed sexual assault, rape, statutory rape, incest, or any of the like in detail...just made sure he knows that it's not okay for anyone to mess with his private parts or to ask or make him mess with theirs.
He simply has the good sense to know that when someone says "no", they mean "no". Even when they said "yes" before. And when someone cannot say no, it isn't consent. Silence does not mean it's okay. Unless there is a clear statement of "yes" in the moment, then...well...no. And when you see someone acting like they were told "yes" when they were not, you step up and say something.
How is it my kid knows this when so many grown and semi-grown people seem to have no clue?
"Hey, Little Dude...?"
"What, Mommy?"
"If I have a bucket of popcorn and you want some, but I won't give you any, is it okay to help yourself?"
"No-o." He says it like it's obvious.
"Okay...but what if you're really hungry and really want some popcorn?"
"No." Duh, mommy.
"What if I tell you I have a chocolate bar and I'm going to share it, but then I don't. Is it okay to take it from me?"
"No. It's your chocolate bar. You don't have to share it if you don't want to."
"How about if I have been telling you all day how I have this chocolate bar and we're going to share it, and now you really want some chocolate?"
"It's still not okay."
"What if I tell you I will share with you, but then I fall asleep? Is it cool to take it then?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because it's yours, and you can't share it if you're asleep, it's just me taking it."
"How 'bout if I have a bucket of quarters and I tell people I'm going to share them later, but than I don't? Is it okay to take them from me?"
"No, that's stealing."
'Suppose I am very drunk and say I am going to let you have my quarters, but then I pass out"
"Still no, Mommy." He's impatient, now.
"And if you ask if I will share the quarters and I say no, but then pass out, is it okay to take them?"
"Uh, no."
"And if I am asleep and you ask me if you can eat 27 Kit Kat bars and I don't wake up and say 'no' does that mean 'Yes'?"
"No. You have to say 'yes' to mean 'yes', Mommy." Again, duh.
"What if I am asleep and someone else comes along and asks me if they can have my quarters and I don't say 'no' and they take them?"
"Then I would tell them not to, because you didn't say 'yes' and that's not okay, and they shouldn't take what isn't theirs, it's stealing."
I bet YOU, dear reader, understood where I was going with this.
"So the same is true for sex, buddy."
"Um, okay."
"Some day you'll be interested in sex. Really interested. And sex feels good. And when someone says they will have sex and then changes their mind, it can be frustrating. But...even if you really want to have sex, what does it mean if they say 'You know what? I changed my mind.' and they don't want to any more?"
"It means no sex."
"What if you hear someone telling others how much they want to have sex, but then they are passed out, and you see someone taking them away because they're going to go ahead without asking?"
"Um...that's wrong, because just because you don't say 'no' doesn't mean you are okay with it."
"What if you say you want to have sex but then change your mind? It is okay for you to say know after you said yes?"
"Well...of course it is."
So...we have never discussed rape. We've talked about sex a little, about the biological imperative and body parts and the biological reason for sex, but rape? Not yet. I have not said the word "rape" to him or discussed sexual assault, rape, statutory rape, incest, or any of the like in detail...just made sure he knows that it's not okay for anyone to mess with his private parts or to ask or make him mess with theirs.
He simply has the good sense to know that when someone says "no", they mean "no". Even when they said "yes" before. And when someone cannot say no, it isn't consent. Silence does not mean it's okay. Unless there is a clear statement of "yes" in the moment, then...well...no. And when you see someone acting like they were told "yes" when they were not, you step up and say something.
How is it my kid knows this when so many grown and semi-grown people seem to have no clue?
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