Friday, April 12, 2013

Thoughtfetti

Monday is Mum's birthday...but instead of spending it with her I am going to Tennessee to guest-record with another band.  I hope she has a good day.
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I used to tell people I am a writer.  I don't feel like a writer any more.  I don't feel like writing, and I don't feel that it matters.  I am tired of trying to carve seconds out of the day to cobble together a few weak sentences for a story no one's interested in and that doesn't go anywhere anyway.
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I can't even manage a full-on blog post.
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Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself.  My chosen craft is devalued or outright unwanted.  I am tired of chasing after people and begging them to look at what I've written.  I'm tired of feeling like I am whispering into the wind.  I am tired.
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I am enjoying the process of recording.  I think this will be our best CD ever, not because of where or how we are recording but because we are working so hard at it.  Still...it is exhausting.  Frustrating.  I want it to be done perfect now, and that's not how it goes.
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If I can't finish my part of the CD on Monday morning before K2, Otter, and I go to Tennessee, I won't be able to finish.  It won't matter...the things left undone are small percussion parts and I am probably the only person who will care...but I hope I can get them done on Monday.
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Maybe I am still feeling sorry for myself.
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I am grateful to be part of my band.  Individually, we are all okay, but together?  Somehow, our rough spots even out and we make musical magic.  I want to take the way I feel when we are deep in harmony and spread it throughout the rest of my life.
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What makes you feel good?

3 comments:

  1. What makes me feel good is when you feel good. The one who is dragging you down needs to go.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You always have been and always will be a writer in my book - Who the hell said writing had to be done in full sentences anyway?!?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Your writing makes me happy. You have an unbelievable talent. Life ain't over yet - keep writing, keep submitting.

    ReplyDelete

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