Monday is Mum's birthday...but instead of spending it with her I am going to Tennessee to guest-record with another band. I hope she has a good day.
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I used to tell people I am a writer. I don't feel like a writer any more. I don't feel like writing, and I don't feel that it matters. I am tired of trying to carve seconds out of the day to cobble together a few weak sentences for a story no one's interested in and that doesn't go anywhere anyway.
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I can't even manage a full-on blog post.
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Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself. My chosen craft is devalued or outright unwanted. I am tired of chasing after people and begging them to look at what I've written. I'm tired of feeling like I am whispering into the wind. I am tired.
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I am enjoying the process of recording. I think this will be our best CD ever, not because of where or how we are recording but because we are working so hard at it. Still...it is exhausting. Frustrating. I want it to be done perfect now, and that's not how it goes.
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If I can't finish my part of the CD on Monday morning before K2, Otter, and I go to Tennessee, I won't be able to finish. It won't matter...the things left undone are small percussion parts and I am probably the only person who will care...but I hope I can get them done on Monday.
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Maybe I am still feeling sorry for myself.
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I am grateful to be part of my band. Individually, we are all okay, but together? Somehow, our rough spots even out and we make musical magic. I want to take the way I feel when we are deep in harmony and spread it throughout the rest of my life.
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What makes you feel good?
What makes me feel good is when you feel good. The one who is dragging you down needs to go.
ReplyDeleteYou always have been and always will be a writer in my book - Who the hell said writing had to be done in full sentences anyway?!?
ReplyDeleteYour writing makes me happy. You have an unbelievable talent. Life ain't over yet - keep writing, keep submitting.
ReplyDelete