Just a Day

I had unsettling dreams this morning - murky, amorphous, shadowy things that eluded definition, slipped from my mind's grasp without leaving more than a damp, fog-kissed sense of unhappiness and loss.

Here and there were glimpses of small fears, unreasonable but no less real - something happening to the Evil Genius, to Mum. One moment when Someone was gone, just...gone...without a trace, leaving me bereft. Loss of the baby.

It was a gloomy morning when I woke, dark and cloudy, rain falling in sheets and blankets, thunder rolling along, bouncing from the walls and rattling the bed frame. I lay quietly awhile, trying to shake the sticky cobweb fragments of dream from my mind. I swear, I could feel Someone holding my hands in his, smell him, hear his sleepy murmur in the half-awake place that isn't here, isn't there, isn't anywhere. Comforting.

I spent the morning running errands. Went to Target and bought a rack with bins for the baby's room. Bought some hangers in hope to soon have clothing for them - wee pink ones! Drove through DQ and got the Evil Genius and me ice cream cones.

Spent the afternoon cleaning out the baby's room - it's been Bird's play room and general storage for a while. Cleaned out the closet and found, much to my surprise and delight, several useful baby-type items - a Bopy pillow, a back/front carrier thing, Bird's old baby-gym/play mat (the John Lennon one, no less), some toys from his infancy. Assembled the rack, put the bins in. Hung a few pieces of clothing my friend K found at a thrift store and couldn't resist. The room is completely the baby's, now...I just need to scrub the woodwork, hang a piece of art that K brought back from her Vegas trip, and wait for the promised crib to arrive (via Someone's Mom and sister, who are bringing it down sometime soon - his sister had twin girls who never used their cribs, so we scored one heck of a hand-me-down!). I hope to make the quilt soon, too.

I feel better.

Now I have to fly out the door - Someone is almost home from 'Bama and I need to go pick him up. I hope he likes the new trash cans (a wonderful gift from Mum)(yes, I'm weird), the new microwave (because I killed the old one, and then it got left out in the rain because I didn't know it was going to rain and thought if I put it by the street someone might come along and rescue it, maybe fix it, and have themselves a useful appliance)(just 'cause I can't fix it doesn't mean it's really, truly, all the way broken - I'm not exactly ept with tools and gadgets), and our little girl's room...