Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Proof the Universe Has a Sense of Humor

Dating: 2 years

Married: One month shy of 9 years

Time spent filling out paperwork: 12 hours

Time spent waiting in line at the (mandated) Family Legal Information Center: 6 hours

Time spent redoing paperwork after the FLIC worker pointed out all the errors and omissions: 4 hours

Time spent waiting in line at the FLIC a second time: 2 hours

Money spent on the (legally mandated) divorce (with minor children) paperwork packet, filing fees, Scotch, and Valium (only without the Scotch and Valium) : $300.00

Time spent in the (mandated) Divorcing Parents class: 4 hours

Money spent on the (mandated) Divorcing Parents class: $50.00 each

Time spent holding down a bench in the courtroom: 40 minutes

Time spent actually standing in front of the judge saying "Yes, sir." or "Nor, sir.": Less than 3 minutes.

Time spent filing final divorce decree: 2 minutes

Proof the Universe has a sense of humor when you climb into the van with your newly minted ex-husband for the ride home after filing the final divorce papers, turn the key, and hear the opening strains of Queen's Another One Bites the Dust: Priceless.
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5 comments:

  1. MSeptember 2, 2009 at 12:16 PM

    Oh...good goddess. I can't decide if that would produce an incredibly awkward scene or hysterical laughter. And, what do you say to the newly divorced? Congratulations? Condolences? Best wishes? It’s a time of ending and new beginning, of sadness and happiness, of fear and expectation… Nothing seems really appropriate to say. Maybe just, my thoughts are with you. My the universe provide all the strength, love, and support you need.

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  2. darsdenSeptember 2, 2009 at 1:10 PM

    dang gina if you would have held on another 1 year 1 month you really could have got him by drawing on his social security..!! But on the good side...loook how much weight you loss...(insert his weight right here_______)

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  3. darsdenSeptember 2, 2009 at 1:35 PM

    ps everybody is gina when there is a dang in front.. southern slang babe' just southern slang ;-)

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  4. paisanaSeptember 2, 2009 at 2:22 PM

    Condolences. Even if it's a wanted loss, it's a loss nonetheless.

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  5. HollySeptember 2, 2009 at 4:04 PM

    LOLLLLLLL how perfect is that?!

    I understand. I've been there before you. And, the only thing I can say is that sometimes you have to burn it down so the field is fertile once more for growing what you want.

    I love your post today. It's fabulous.

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