Begging Letter

Dear Internetz,

Hi! My name's Rook. It was Socks, but Someone (the Lady Human says I'm not allowed to say who) said I looked like a Rook, and the Lady Human thought that was fine, since she thought Socks was kind of...ordinary...and I'm no ordinary kitten!

I had a Wolf Worm. It was uncomfortable, and I couldn't talk or swallow or breathe right. The Lady Human took it off me, which was kind of gross and wriggly and squishy and weird, but a big relief. I thought The Lady Human was amazing. She put me in a little brown box and we went very fast in a big red box to a place where they told her what the squishy, wriggly thing was and how to make sure that I was took care of OK.

She said she couldn't put me outside again - I needed to be clean and dry to get better, and anyway she didn't want me adding to the population next year, because us yard cats breed like bunnies, she says.

The Lady Human tooked good care of me and now I'm healed up and the fur is growing back on my chest, which is a relief because even though I'm a girl kitty, a hairy chest is a good thing.

She tried to find me a home. She askeded all her friends and even you, Internetz, if anyone could please take me and love me, because she already has three big kitties who growl at me but then twitch their tails and invite me to play, only I'm not allowed to on account of I have fleas and the Lady Human doesn't know if I have any kitty plagues and she doesn't think it's right to give fleas and kitty plagues to the other kitties here.

No one has come to get me, though - I guess there are a lot of kitties out there and not so many homes for them to go to.

So mostly I sit in the pen and play by myself, and meyowl when I'm lonely and sometimes the Lady Human picks me up and cuddles me and I purr to tell her I like it, and she plays with me and doesn't get mad when I maybe scratch her a little with my claws, and she found a dot for me to chase which is FUN! I chase my tail a lot, and sleep a lot, because there's not much else to do in here.

The Lady Human says she will not put me outside. She says she's keeping me, that she'll give me a home. And she says she hates to keep me penned up. She says a kitten should have room to run and play and places to hide and get under foot and generally it's wrong to keep anyone locked up in a tiny space like that (she said something about the prison system and epic failures, but I didn't understand all that). She frets because she can't take me to the vet and get me tested for plagues and get de-flead (which would be nice because I don't have many, but they're itchy), so she has to leave me in the pen most of the time.

So, Internetz, I am asking you for help. Please, can you help me get out of this pen? There's a button over there on the side bar, up at the top. It says PayPal. Can you spare a dollar or nine-thousand to help get a poor little kitten housed, fed, and vetted? Puhleeeeeze??

Thank you,
Rook (formerly Socks)