not easily penetrated - much like my defenses, my heart, these days
not easily yielding to pressure - because I can't afford to acquiesce just to maintain the status quo...can't give an inch or I'll lose miles, can't show emotion or compassion or it's misconstrued or manipulated, so I get to be the uncaring bitch and suffer in silence
difficult to bear or endure - recent and near future days to be gotten through, somehow, with nothing but the slender, delicious hope that it won't always be so...
lacking consideration, compassion, or gentleness - from the outside looking in, I'm sure this is how I appear, but I do care, deeply
callous - if I am, it is only because I have been worn, scraped, rubbed the wrong way for so long, I have toughened
harsh, severe, or offensive in tendency or effect - can't be helped, although I don't have to like it...but I will defend myself against falsehood, false assumption, and the constant assault on my defenses
resentful - and becoming more so by the day...
strict, unrelenting - I must be, or end up back at square one...but it doesn't come easy or natural
intense in force, manner, or degree - yes...
unyielding - if I must be...I may never be pliant again, which makes me sad...
difficult to accomplish or resolve - I've had easier times parsing out Death, Life, the Universe, and Everything...
difficult to comprehend or explain - not for lack of effort, but when someone doesn't want to know, won't listen or hear, it's fruitless
having difficulty in doing something - which isn't stopping me...just wearing me down, the slow erosion of a soul...
It is exhausting. All of those things. I remember. ((((Kyddryn))))
ReplyDeleteI remember those days too, when I must, sometimes only to remind myself how worth it the pain was once I got to the other side.
ReplyDelete"slender, delicious hope" - Ohhhh, just a supremely exquisite turn of phrase!