Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Do You Know the Kissing Wench, the Kissing Wench, the Kissing Wench...

...do you know the Kissing Wench, whose lips are scarlet red?

I don't know about your neck of the woods, but at the Georgia Renaissance Festival, we have Kissing Wenches - three of them, actually - who wander the fair planting big, lipstick-y kisses on likely targets, usually at the urging of the person's companions/family. Their lipstick is vivid, to say the least, and liberally applied, and you can spot their victims from a distance, either by the lovely shade of crimson they're still blushing or the nearly indelible lip marks on their...anatomy.


The Wenches will kiss anyone, man, woman, or child, just about anywhere, and they work for tips. They're sweet, bawdy, and hilarious, especially when they have to chase a victim down...which happens quite often. Those Wenches are relentless, and I've never seen anyone outrun them, though the ladies wear full Renny garb.


One of the Wenches at the fair works around the area where our booth is planted, and she's friendly, funny, and smart. She's learning how to say "kiss" in many languages - so far she has Portuguese, Spanish, French, Japanese, Russian, and a few more I can't recall. It's only one word, or maybe a phrase, but it's terrific that she puts so much into it. She has lips all over her - lips for earrings, lips pinned to her bosom, lips on her mug, lips for a pendant...they cover her from head to toe, a sort of lip-y pox.


I read once that the Wenches have a guild. If they do, I am delighted. I am usually anti-union/guild (please don't hate me for that - I was raised in a home full of strong opinions and some of them stuck), but a Kissing Wench Guild? That's something the world needs more of!


If you attend a Ren Fest somewhere and you see a loud, gaily dressed, over-lipsticked woman wandering about and puckering up, cough up a buck and present a cheek - it's all in good fun!

4 comments:

  1. What a fun idea! I don't suppose there are any kissing wankers about? Hmmm, I may need to rephrase that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. They possibly work for the government. And if they don't, they should.

    Sounds like something Obama would do...

    :)
    x

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh... a cheek, is it..

    Um, and what to those who care to be marked... ahh.. 'ELSEWHERE'???

    Here's to the Guild: You GO, Ladies!!!

    ReplyDelete

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