Thoughtfetti

Speak(er)! I don't like speaker phones. I don't want everyone and their cousin hearing a private conversation, for one thing. For another, I have yet to experience the speaker phone that is clear, without all that cellophane-crinkling-noise static, and doesn't cut out every third word (I swear, there's an algorithm that phone manufacturers use to calculate precisely which words are most important in a sentence, and they're using it to drive me even more crazy than I already am - and y'all know I started out a bubble off plumb). I don't like having to repeat myself or listen to driving or household noises, or hear someone brushing their teeth or whatever they're doing that they can't just hold the stupid phone. Really? Call me back when you can focus on the conversation, OK? I especially don't like these new-fangled speaker phones that play through a car's speakers - if I wanted to be on the radio, I'd get a job in broadcasting or put in one of my CDs.
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I never listen to my own CDs. I wrote the songs, rehearsed them, performed them, and sang them elleventy-million time to get the recording just right (OK, really I usually only have to do them once or twice unless there's an equipment problem or outside noise interference, but it feels like elleventy-million times). I don't need to listen to them - I know what they sound like. I wonder if other musicians feel the same way.
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I don't read my own stories, once they're written and proofed and done. Same thing - I wrote 'em and they're done, and I may be a little tired with them. Think Dean Koontz gets that?
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When I am angry, unhappy, or generally in a dither, I bake. Baking is therapeutic. Baking makes my house smell nice, makes my son happy, and provides me gifts to ply the neighbors, friends, and family with. Last night I was angry. This morning, I baked. I am still irked, but it is more manageable and the Evil Genius not only doesn't have to fear for his life, he has cinnamon-sugar muffins to munch. Win-win, from his perspective.
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Apparently, once I get mad, I stay that way for a while. If I were a volcano, I'd be Mauna Loa - sort of slow to erupt, but relentless once I get going, with the occasional outburst to keep people on their toes. The funny thing is, I used to be such an even-tempered person...almost unflappable. These days, I find myself getting angrier and angrier about stupid shit like people who don't use their blinkers or drive while watching videos, texting, and chatting on the phone, or being put on speaker phone - rude behavior, in general, is making my eyes twitch. I may need to move to Montana, where there are more cows than people - and when's the last time a cow swerved into your lane because they were too busy texting to drive properly?
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Vonage ads are a special kind of annoying.
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My house smells like muffins rolled in butter and dipped in cinnamon-sugar. This is a happy smell. Mmm...
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In the time it took me to write this post, the Evil Genius has inhaled (because I don't think he actually chewed them) three muffins, a bowl of blueberries (a big bowl) and asked me for an apple.
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Bob Books rock the house; if you have a beginning reader in your vicinity, get 'em Bob books - they start with some basic foundation words and build up to sentences, complex words and sounds, and plots. The Evil Genius plowed through the first three sets in short order and is now plugging away at set four. War and Peace can't be far behind.
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Why is DirecTV advertising on DirecTV? If I already have it, why do they need to sell it to me? My brain hurts...I need a muffin.